


The Search for Everything

by sweetkpopfan



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Camping, Coming of Age, Growing Up, M/M, Multi, Road Trips, Summer Romance, Teenage Drama, Teenagers, Travel, Young Love, mention of depression, mentions of smoking, mentions of underaged smut, mentions of weed, small bit on vandalism, this is a work of fiction hahahahaha, will add more as the story continues - Freeform, young adult
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2018-11-07 15:52:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 43,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11062215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetkpopfan/pseuds/sweetkpopfan
Summary: Mark Lee is on his last year of high school, and he is going on a road trip with his best friend Jeno before they graduate. The thing is, they have to bring Jeno's boyfriend Renjun, and they also encounter a stowaway who really should be anywhere but under the cabinet of a small sink in the back of their van.This is a story of summer, long road trips, unwashed bodies, broken hearts, stupid mistakes, young love and growing up. Come join four boys as they journey on a search for everything.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when you read too many novels, spend too much time on Tumblr and also love John Mayer. Since Mark is going to graduate and become an adult, this seemed like the perfect time to write this story, sort of as a tribute to youth and soul behind it. I'm trying to make this as realistic as possible, so I hope you guys can bear with me on this! Subscribe and comment if you like what you read so far!

_Mark’s Playlist for Random Thoughts While in The Car with Dad_

_The Theme from “The Search for Everything”-John Mayer_

_“This song is nice. Why isn’t it longer though?”_

_“No idea Dad.”_

******************

 

                School.

                Oh, how shall we describe school? A building? Devil’s waiting room? Pits of hell? The intellectual training ground for future leaders of the next generation? An athlete’s waiting room or a bunch of drunk kid’s secret hideout from their parents?

                There are probably more ways to describe school, but for Mark Lee, it’s better known as ‘the place I can’t wait to get away from’. Every high-schooler probably goes through days like the one he is about to encounter, as his dad drops him in front of the school entrance and the minute he steps out, a bunch of jocks run into him by accident and nearly knocks him into a tree.

                “Shit, sorry dude. You okay?”

                “Yeah I’m fine.” Mark shook his head as the jock (nearly three times bigger than him) lifts him up with ease. “I think I cracked a skull but yeah, I’ll survive.”

                “Cool.” The jock just smiled a dopey smile (with something that looks like a missing tooth) “Just be careful man. You made me miss the ball.”

                _And I almost died but sure, don’t let me stand in the way of your catching a rubber pigskin._

                “Okay.” Mark just nodded and made his way inside the building, checking his watch to make sure he was not late for class, because that is so Mark Lee. Always on time and always nice. Prim and proper, living the straight life with no plans to disappoint his parents. He doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t smoke, does his homework on time…he doesn’t even try to scribble obscene things on bathroom walls. Mark Lee is always nice and good.

                He turned into his classroom and smiled when he saw Lee Jeno, best friend and the class’s famous Sleeper, but only during Mr. Moon’s algebra class because and to quote Jeno ‘moons can’t talk and they sure can’t teach’.

                As expected, Jeno has his legs propped up on the back of Mark’s chair, his snapback covering his eyes and his arms crossed. It makes absolutely zero sense as to why Jeno would bother coming early to class only to sleep through it. Mark knocked Jeno’s feet out of the way and the Sleeper grunted.

                “What the fuck…”

                “That’s a record. You’re sleeping lighter than usual.” Mark grinned. “You usually don’t get up until Moon’s class is over.” Yeah, it’s rude to refer to your teacher by his surname without a proper title but Mark can’t always be nice. This is his little way of rebelling (pathetic, isn’t it?).

                “I’m actually going to make a change.” Jeno yawned. “I’m going to stay awake for his class. You know, the last one before we graduate.”

                “You waited until the last day to be nice to Mr. Moon?” (see how he reverts back to being nice again? Mark could never _rebel_ for long) Mark shook his head. “It’s not like he’s going to give you an award or anything.”

                “The man should appreciate the fact that I always pass his classes even if he bores me to death.” Jeno rolled his eyes, bringing his legs down. “If he was any worse I would have failed his classes. Voluntarily too.”

                “You can’t fail this class, then you wouldn’t be able to graduate and get out of this crappy wormhole.”

                “True.” Jeno shrugged. He grinned at Mark excitedly. “Are we all ready for tomorrow?”

                “Absolutely.” Mark pulled out his planner from inside his bag. “I’m going grocery shopping later, you are bringing the map and your uncle’s old Volkswagen bus.”

                “My dad and I spent a fortune on that decrepit junk.” Jeno said. “It needed a whole new transmission and everything, but it’s finally camper ready.”

                “This is going to be the best road trip ever.” Mark pulled out a pen to quickly scribble notes in his planner. “The final road trip before graduation.”

                “It’s our only road trip, we’ve never taken one before.” Jeno said. “Where did you say we are going?”

                “Our final destination is this place.” Mark pulled out a picture. On it was a Moorish castle with red and white bricks, an aged clock on the front façade and rolling hills in the backdrop. This was Scarwood Palace, a 17th century castle built by Braden Scarwood for his Moorish wife. Mark’s dad said that Mr. Scarwood’s wife died before the castle was completed, but Mr. Scarwood wanted to finish it anyways as a lasting memory for his wife and lived there until his dying days. It was said that he was a very wise man with the questions to all your answers. That’s where the urban myth came from: if you came to Scarwood Palace, you would find whatever you were looking for.

                That was pure bullshit of course. No rational human being would believe that if you went to see a castle you could solve the world’s problems or some shit like that, but Mark had always harboured a strange fascination for the palace. When his dad first told him the story, he immediately begged him to take him there on a vacation, but then Mark’s mother died, and it never happened.

                “Scarwood Palace.” Jeno said. “I’ve never heard of this place before.”

                “You should try looking it up or something. I’m sure it’s on the internet.”

                “Even if it is I don’t think anyone goes there anymore.” Jeno’s lips pulled down. “Why else have I not heard about this place?”

                “Not everything good is on social media you know,” Mark rolled his eyes. “Besides, think of it as an adventure. The two of us going into the unknown, like explorers. Remember the games we used to play as a kid?”

                “Uhm…”

                “We used to hide in forts made of cardboard and pretend we were on our own island, protecting it from pirates.”

                “Uhm…about that…”

                “What about what?”

                “You see…I…”

                “Good morning class.” Mr. Moon entered the classroom, glasses on the bridge of his nose. “I trust you are all ready for our final algebra class.”

                “Yes sir.” They chorused.

                “Jeno, nice to see you awake.” Mr. Moon gave him the stink eye, frowning in disapproval. “How kind of you to stay awake for our last class.”

                “I figured I would since we aren’t going to see each other anymore.” The class sniggered and even Mark tried to hold his laughter. Jeno just shrugged carelessly, eyeing Mr. Moon.

                “And I also figured I would send you to detention for that remark, but since it’s your last class,” the teacher straightened his tie and raised an eyebrow “I suppose I could make an oversight.”

******************

                “10 rolls of toilet paper, 7 boxes of cereal and at least 25 bars of soap.” Lee Taeyong, Mark’s dad read from his phone as they strolled down the aisles of SM Supermarket (which literally stands for _super-market_ ) with Mark’s stepfather, Johnny, who he prefers to call Johnny instead of Daddy or Father or whatnot.

                “I think I’ll need more than that dad.” Mark said.

                “Why? I thought you told me this was enough for two.”

                “We’re not two anymore.” Mark grumbled. “Jeno wants to bring Renjun with him.”

                It’s better to not ask Mark about Jeno bringing another person with him, but it’s crucial to this story that we understand who this Renjun person is. Huang Renjun is Jeno’s boyfriend, and they have been dating for almost two years. They are one of those quintessential clingy, cheesy, cringey, vomit-inducing couple that walk around the halls hand-in-hand, wear matching sweaters and call each other Baby Boo, Cupcake and Hunny Bunny. They even have their own couple name: JeJun.

                Mark was absolutely livid when Jeno told him he wanted to bring Renjun. He said that since he was graduating he wanted to do something with his precious sweetheart as well and the two have never been apart for more than two days. They argued about it over lunch, but by the time chemistry class came Mark simply nodded and said yes.

                He had nothing against Renjun; actually they were good friends and he was happy Jeno was dating someone so nice and compatible for him, but this was supposed to be a best friends trip. Mark and Jeno have been best friends ever since they were toddlers and they have always talked about going on a trip together. A road trip far away from parents and life as they slept under stars, drank convenience store sodas until their stomach bursts and go skinny dipping in lakes. He wanted to do just thing one thing with his best friend, but now it seemed like he was going to third wheel a couple trip instead.

                “Oh, well then we better add 5 more boxes of cereal then.” Taeyong hummed, making a note in his phone as they rounded the corner of an aisle. “You don’t seem very happy about it though.”

                “Dad, this was supposed to be a best friends trip.” Mark grumbled. “I can’t believe Jeno wants Renjun to tag along. Would it kill him to part with his boyfriend for just 2 weeks? Like is that such a crime? We’re not going to war or anything.”

                “Why didn’t you tell him no then?” Johnny asked.

                “I couldn’t. If Jeno gets mad at me then he’ll miss the trip and the whole thing will be over.” Mark sighed. “It’s easier if I just suck it up and let him come.”

                “Maybe it won’t be so bad.” Johnny rubbed Mark’s shoulder. “I’m sure you all will have a great time no matter what.”

                “Do you guys have space in the bus for a portable fan?”

                “Dad,” Mark rolled his eyes while Johnny stifled a laugh. “We’re supposed to be enjoying nature. A fan defeats the purpose and no, we don’t have space.”

                “Make sure you bring some sunscreen…oh look here’s a bottle. On promotion too!”

                “Dad…”

                Taeyong couldn’t hear his son. He was too busy looking for SPF 30 instead of 15 at 35% off if you bought a two pack. Mark looked at Johnny with pleading eyes, but the older man just stood there shaking his head.

                After the shopping trip and about 17 grocery bags full of fruits, cereal, sodas and soaps, Mark and his family arrived home and started unloading the family car. The kid next door to him was sitting on his bicycle with a lollipop in his mouth. He saw the Lee family and waved to greet them.

                “Hey Mr. Lee, hey Johnny!”

                “Hello Donghyuck.” Taeyong smiled. “Did you all enjoy the chocolate cake I made yesterday?”

                “Yes sir, it was delicious!” Donghyuck beamed, his pearly white teeth glistening away. He caught a glimpse of Mark behind the car and waved. “Mum wants to know if you can share the recipe.”

                “Sure, I’ll message her. What about your brother? Is Jaehyun home yet?”

                “Nah, hyung has basketball training. He’ll be back from college in a couple of minutes or so.” Donghyuck sucked on his lollipop, making a loud ‘pop’ sound that would be considered rude. He was making lazy circles with his bike on the road, watching the Lee family bring in their groceries.

                “Did you buy out the store or are we stocking up for war?”

                “I’m going on a trip tomorrow.” Mark explained, helping Johnny with the last bag of groceries.

                “Really? Where are you going?”

                “Scarwood Palace.”

                “Where’s that?”

                “Somewhere far.”

                “How long will you be gone?”

                “About two weeks, give or take.”

                “Cool, can I come?”

                “Donghyuck,” Mark sighed. “It’s a senior trip.”

                “The discrimination against us juniors is real.” Donghyuck slowed his bike and took out his lollipop. “This is one of those movie-type road trips with lots of beer and trespassing private property only to end up being eaten by bears, right?”

                “Exactly.”

                “Cool, can I come?”

                “Jesus Christ Donghyuck.” Mark groaned. “No, you can’t and I’m sorry. We don’t have enough space in the back of the bus for you.”

                “Who’s going?”

                “Jeno, Renjun and me.”

                “Wow, look at you Mr. Third-wheel.” Donghyuck grinned. “Are you sure it’s a seniors trip or are you just cock-blocking a romantic getaway?”

                “Shut up Donghyuck. You don’t know anything.”

                “I know how to cook, I know how to whittle and how to turn salt water into drinking water.” Donghyuck placed the lollipop back in his mouth. “If you guys are gonna rough it you will need someone like me. Besides, someone should keep you company when Renjun and Jeno decide it’s time to suck faces again.”

                “You don’t even have your parents permission.”

                “I can get one tonight. Mum would be glad to have me out of the house anyway. She said I am a piece of work during the summer.”

                “She’s not wrong about that.” Mark shook his head. “No, you are not coming, and I won’t let you.”

                “Who are you, my keeper? You can’t tell me what to do.”

                “I’m your hyung and a senior in your high school. I’m older and I know what’s best.”

                Donghyuck scoffed and mumbled something under his breath. “Fine, whatever you say. It’s not like your crusty ass road trip is going to be good anyways.”

                “You’re just jealous.”

                “Whatever.” Donghyuck rolled his eyes and continued on his bike, riding small circles again.

                “Hey, Donghyuck?”

                “What do you want frog-face?”

                “When is your brother coming home?”

                “Should be anytime now.” Donghyuck said, stopping his bike next to Mark. “Why?”

                “Nothing. Just curious.”

                “Yeah right.” Donghyuck grinned. “Get your bikes out and let’s race down this street.”

                “Alright.” Mark dashed to the back of his house to find his bicycle. He could never resist the opportunity to race Donghyuck. The younger boy used to brag that he was ‘Usain Bolt on Wheels’ and he used to taunt Mark all the time. The two of them cycled up and down their neighbourhood for a while, until a black car showed up in front of Donghyuck’s house.

                “You two should get better bicycles. Those look a little beat up.”

                “Only because you took the new one to college and gave me this shitty piece of metal on wheels.” Donghyuck laughed, giving his brother Jaehyun a high-five. Jaehyun was a college student coming back for the weekend. The three boys grew up together for as long as Mark could remember. Jaehyun gave Mark a fist bump and a hug.

                “How come he gets a hug and I don’t?” Donghyuck whined.

                “Because you are a piece of shit for borrowing my Usher CD without telling me.”

                “Excuse me you didn’t say you were using them.”

                “That doesn’t mean you can.” Jaehyun put Donghyuck in a headlock and pretended to bite his head off. Donghyuck screamed in terror and laughed when he elbowed Jaehyun in his ‘golden zone’ and almost got kicked in the ass for doing so.

                “So Mark,” Jaehyun composed himself, putting a hand on Mark’s bicycle handle. “How does it feel like to be a senior now?”

                “It’s a bit surreal.” Mark uttered, feeling his face heat up. “I can’t believe it’s over and I’m going to college soon.”

                “Which college did you apply?”

                “I wrote to NCT U, EXO U, The Academy of Performing Arts and a bunch of other places.”

                “You wrote to APA? I thought you wanted to go in science?”

                “I just applied.” Mark made lazy circles on his bike handle with his thumb. “I don’t think I’ll get it but I just wrote for the hell of it anyways.”

                “If you come to NCT U we could see a lot more of each other then.” Jaehyun smiled. “We could even carpool on weekends to come home.”

                _Carpooling with Jaehyun. Seeing Jaehyun on campus. Saying hi to him and his college friends. Holding hands with Jaehyun…no, wait._

                “Only if I get it.”

                “I’m sure you will, you’re a smart kid, better than my brother.” Jaehyun patted him on the back. “I’ll see you around.”

                “See you.”

                “Come on Hyuckie it’s dinner time!”

                “Okay!” Donghyuck finished his round and rode back into his house’s front yard. “Go home you loser. My brother is already inside.”

                “Shut up.”

******************

                “Did you bring your charger?”

                “Yes.”

                “Where are your bags?”

                “In the bus.”

                “Call me once you leave the state.”

                “Yes dad.”

                “If you start experiencing stomach problems take those pills I gave you.”

                “Yes dad.”

                “Don’t forget to…”

                “I think you told him everything an hour ago babe.” Johnny laughed, pulling Taeyong into his arms and kissing the top of his head.

                “Excuse me but my only child is going away for two weeks and you expect me not to worry?”

                “I’ll be fine dad. We’ve been preparing for this for months.” Mark grabbed some candies from the candy bowl and stuffed them in his jacket pocket. “We know what we’re doing.”

                “You have the list of emergency contacts on the dashboard.” Taeyong cupped Mark’s face in his hands. “Call me anytime you want, even if it’s just to say hello.”

                “I will dad.”

                “Come on kiddo.” Johnny pulled Mark with his left arm and Taeyong with his left, as they hugged and snuggled in a family hug. Outside, Renjun and Jeno were waiting in the bus, the old decrepit Volkswagen mini bus was remodelled into a comfortable camper’s van, equipped with tons of old mattresses, blankets and cushions for sleeping, a small kitchen with a stove and sink for washing, pulled out tables for eating and little cube partitions to store stuff. Jeno and his dad had ripped out the backseat to turn it into a mini home on the road. Renjun bought a huge pin board to hang inside the van where they could put pictures, maps or any small trinkets on it.

                “Have a safe drive kids.” Johnny waved. Taeyong was pouting a little and Mark hugged his dad when he saw little tears brimming in his eyes.

                “I’ll be safe dad. I’ll call you and Johnny every night. I promise.”

                “Have fun son.” Taeyong kissed him on the cheek. “Take care.”

                Finally all three of them were on the bus, with Jeno at the wheel. They waved goodbye to Johnny and Taeyong, and once they were out of view and at the first traffic light, Jeno and Mark let out a huge yell.

                “YES!!!!! The trip has now officially begun!!”

                “Finally, I have been dreaming of this day since we first planned it. I can’t wait until we get out of this crummy town and on the highway.” Mark pumped his fist, checking his phone for music to play.

                “We’ll be out of here in a couple of minutes. Now, the Ultimate Road Trip has begun!”

                A rustling was heard from the back seat. Mark got out of his seat and slowly made his way to the back, but he nearly fell and hit his head when he saw a tuft of black hair appearing from the tiny cabinet underneath the sink.

                “Sup bitches.”

 


	2. The Stowaway Needs to Pee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peekaboo, who do we have here?

_Hyuck’s Playlist for Stupid Ideas to Piss Off Stupid People_

_Cross My Mind-Twin Suns_

_“Are you sure Mark wouldn’t mind?”_

_“Trust me mum, he’s happy to have me.”_

******************

                “Turn the bus around Jeno.”

                “What are you crazy? He’s on the damn freeway! Don’t turn around Jeno!”

                “Turn it around!!”

                “Don’t turn!!”

                “Turn!!!”

                “DON’T!!!”

                A loud screech and a sharp swerve to the side followed, with all 3 passengers being thrown to one side. Jeno parked the bus by the side and turned around to the two bickering neighbours.

                “Who do you think I am? A taxi driver?” he was visibly annoyed and can you blame him? They just discovered a stowaway in their bus. “You two decide what you want to do and then we’ll make a move.”

                “There’s nothing to decide. We are turning the bus around and sending Donghyuck home.” Mark crossed his arms.

                “How the hell did you fit under that cabinet?” Renjun asked, peeking his head out from the front.

                “It wasn’t easy.” Donghyuck huffed. “I had practice being stuffed into the laundry basket when I was a child, so you can consider me an expert in squeezing into small spaces.”

                “How did you get on the bus without anyone seeing you?” Mark asked.

                “You guys aren’t exactly the CIA you know,” Donghyuck laughed. “Everyone else was so preoccupied with goodbyes and kisses and hugs…”

                “Oh shut up.” Mark snapped. “We’re sending you home.”

                “No you’re not. I already told my mum I was going and she said yes.”

                “She let you go on a two-week road trip to nowhere with 3 other teenagers?” Jeno raised an eyebrow, questioning his mother’s parenting decision.

                “Are you kidding, she was about to drive me herself.” Donghyuck rolled his eyes. “For someone who claims she loves her children more than air she sure is ready to dump us anytime soon.”

                “Hyuck,” Mark rubbed his temples, putting a hand up. “I already told you that you cannot come with us. We don’t have space and not enough food.”

                “Actually we could just sleep a little-ow!” Jeno shrunk back in his seat when Mark pinched his arm. “Will you clip your nails sometime Mark Lee? They are like chicken claws.”

                “Are you hurt?” Renjun asked, bringing Jeno’s arm closer to his.

                “I think so. I may need a kiss to…”

                “See, this is why I’m here,” Donghyuck pointed to the two lovebirds. “You were about to go on an agonizingly long road trip with two people who still believe in boo-boos and think kisses will heal them. I’m here to save you.”

                “I don’t need your help. We were doing perfectly fine without you.”

                “Okay, then think about it this way. I’m on the bus, it’s getting late, and if you turn around to send me home I’ll be in trouble and so will you.”

                “And what kind of trouble will I be in?” Mark scoffed.

                “You let a stowaway get in the bus.” Donghyuck’s eyes almost seemed to gleam in the faint sunlight. “When your dad hears about this he is never going to let this go.”

                _Shit he’s right._

                “Mark it’s getting late and traffic is going to build up soon.” Jeno said. “We need to decide now what we’re going to do.”

                “If it’s about the food don’t worry about it. Mum gave me her credit card to spend on the trip so we can always get some.”

                “Your mother gave you her credit card?!” the three boys stared in shock.

                “I said she was desperate to kick out her own children, didn’t I?”

                “So… what’s it going to be?” Jeno asked. “It’s your call Mark.”

                “Please please don’t send me back. I can cook all our meals, I take up very little space and I promise I won’t disrupt your plans.”

                “Oh god.” Mark sighed. He debated sending Donghyuck home, but it was getting late and Hyuck had a point (annoyingly) that he would get in trouble with his dad. Donghyuck pleaded to him with a pout and puppy-like eyes, hands clasped together tightly.

                “Fine, you can stay. Let’s get back on the freeway.”

                “Alright!” Donghyuck almost jumped for joy but he couldn’t because the bus started moving. “Make a stop at the first gas station you see.”

                “We don’t need gas, I already filled it up before we left.” Jeno said.

                “I’m not talking about filling tanks, I’m talking about emptying them.” Donghyuck made a face at Mark. “I didn’t go to the bathroom before I left and I drank about a gallon of soda for lunch.”

******************

                Now that we have our stowaway in the story, it’s time to give a proper introduction as to who this kid actually is. His name is Donghyuck, Mark’s neighbour and childhood friend. He is only a year younger than Mark, and the same age as Jeno, except Jeno skipped grades. The latter was worthy of doing so because his grades granted him. Donghyuck on the other hand had grades that would only grant him a pass to graduate, but definitely not enough to get into Harvard.

                It’s not that Mark hated Donghyuck, he doesn’t hate him at all, but Donghyuck had a mouth on him that people would kill for him. The kid doesn’t know when and how to shut up. He says what he likes, what he feels, and he has a smart comeback for everything. How can he even be related to Jaehyun?

                Jaehyun…that perfect guy your parents want you to marry (heck if they were any younger they probably would marry him), but we’ll get to him in a minute.

                Donghyuck had tan skin, slightly rounder cheeks and dark brown hair inherited from his mother. Forget about his mouth, this boy is incredibly talented. What he lacks academically, he makes up for in life skills, like cooking, washing and fixing things. The only thing keeping Mark from threatening to send Donghyuck back home was that he could cook. He has tried his cooking before, so he knows that they would be living on proper food instead of baked beans and ramen for the next few weeks.

                The boys have been on the road for almost 3 hours now. The sun was setting in the horizon, and Mark had taken over at the driver’s seat while Jeno and Renjun were in the back, looking at the map and trying to plot their next travel route. Mark tried to pretend they were not secretly sneaking kisses down each other’s neck in the back every time he looked into the rear-view mirror.

                “What are you doing?” Mark asked Donghyuck, who has been scribbling in his notebook for some time now.

                “While I was hiding I made a note of some of the stuff you have in the back there.” Donghyuck said. “You guys only have canned food and dried stuff like bread and cereal. Where’s all the other condiments like garlic, salt and stuff?”

                “We didn’t bring any.”

                “I figured that, which is why I bought my own spice rack.”

                “You bought a spice rack?”

                “Hey, don’t knock those leaves and seed things. They add magic to your food.” Donghyuck grinned. “I’ve been working on a menu for at least the next few nights. Maybe we can stop to get some other stuff like vegetables or some fruit or something.”

                “We don’t have the money for that.”

                “I do. What was your plan all this while? To get constipation while you are on the road?”

                “At least we won’t need toilets.”

                “What’s your plan for showers?”

                “Either stop at gas stations or we can go to a swimming pool or gym. They have showers there.”

                “So we’re not washing tonight?”

                “Why? Are you filthy?”

                “No,” Donghyuck leaned his head back. “Just checking.”

                A moment of silence passed as soft music played from the radio, something that sounds like Cat Stevens but maybe isn’t. Donghyuck turned to see what Renjun and Jeno are doing, and they seemed to have passed out on the mattress behind them.

                “Mark?”

                “Yeah?”

                “What do we do if…”

                “If what?”          

                “If they wanna…” he pulled a face and formed a ring with his left fingers, while inserting the right middle finger through it. Mark burst out laughing.

                “Then they are gonna have to find a place outside the van to do it.” The two of the giggled. “I am not sharing sheets with someone who just did the horizontal cha-cha on it.”

                “Have they?”

                “I don’t know. I never asked.”

                “I guess it’s not that important.” Donghyuck shrugged. “Jaehyun hyung always said losing your virginity does not make you more grown up.”

                “Your brother knows you’re here with us?”

                “Of course, he knows everything. Say,” Donghyuck leaned in a little closer to Mark. “How about we make a pit stop at NCT U to visit him?”

                “Sounds like a good idea.”

                “We can call him up and he can take us around, and plus since you’re going to NCT U maybe you should check out the campus.”

                “I didn’t say I was going to NCT U.”

                “Don’t you want to?”

                “Well yeah, I guess.”

                “What do you mean you guess?”

                “It’s just…” Mark sighed, focused on taking a curve on the road. “NCT U is a good school. I’ll be glad if I got in.”

                “What if you don’t?”

                “Then I’ll go somewhere else.”

                “Fine,” Donghyuck decided not to press on the issue anymore. It was getting dark and Mark really needed to focus on the road. “I think you better make a stop soon. Let’s have something to eat.”

******************

                “I never thought I would say this,” Jeno helped himself to his second helping of dinner. “but that spice rack is the best thing in the bus right now.”

                “I agree. Hyuckie this is delicious.” Renjun beamed, licking his spoon.

                “I call this: Hyuck’s Pesto Pasta.” Donghyuck grinned. “I am so happy you guys bought 30 boxes of pasta, but does it all have to be penne?”

                “Ask my dad. It was on sale and he went nuts.” Mark laughed, sending a quick picture message to his dad with the caption _First meal on wheels._ They had a good dinner with the pasta, soda in paper cups and some leftover pastries Renjun’s mum brought for them. They parked the van at the side of the freeway, where they had driven off road for a few minutes to get as far away as they could from traffic. The back door was opened and the cool breeze wafted through. After a couple of hours of driving, it was nice to finally get a break.

                “You know, Renjun and I found a nice waterfall we should visit tomorrow.” Jeno said. “It’s about 2 to 3 hours from where we currently are, but it’s a famous spot and a lot of tourists go there.”

                “Sounds good,” Mark nodded, cleaning up his plate. They bought tons of paper plates and utensils. Using whatever small amount of water they had, they tried to clean up after themselves including the pots they used for cooking.

                “Next time we just eat from the pot.” Donghyuck laughed. “Saves us the washing.”

                The first nightfall soon came, and all four of them piled onto their makeshift bed. It was a bit of a squeeze with Donghyuck, but Jeno had the perfect excuse for it.

                “Renjun come closer to me.”

                “But Jeno you’re warm.” He groaned. “Your body is like a heater.”

                “It’s going to get cold at night, you’re gonna need me to warm you up.”

                The two of them snuggled under the covers, and pretty soon some giggling could be heard and some feet wiggling could be felt too. Donghyuck rolled his eyes as he laid between Renjun and Mark.

                “If you two try to do the hokey pokey in your sleep I’m rolling over on top of you.”

                “You wouldn’t dare.”

                “The last person who said that is still expelled from school. Don’t make me.”

                Mark laughed at that. “You know we should get some chewable toothbrushes. At least our breaths won’t smell like we grew fungus in them.”

                “Yeah you do smell a little funky.”

                “Really? I thought I…”

                “I was just kidding.” Donghyuck slapped Mark’s arm, moving a little closer because Renjun was still wiggling in his spot. “Stop doing that Renjun!”

                “Jeno! Get your fingers out from under my shirt!”

                “Make me.”

                “Jeno!!”

                “This is going to be a long night.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have two words for all of you that has caused me death: Cherry. Bomb.
> 
> That is all ^^


	3. Always Wet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hardest part of the road trip is getting a shower.

_Jeno’s Playlist for Songs About My Moomin Boyfriend_

_Dirty Laundry-All Time Low_

_“No Jeno, I am not putting on dirty laundry, it’s disgusting.”_

_“Why do you have to take the romance out of this song?”_

_“Why do you want me to smell like a skunk?”_

_“I was just… never mind.”_

******************

                “Hmmmph…hmmmmm…”

                Jeno felt a strange motion going on in between his thighs as his eyes refused to open from deep slumber. It’s disturbing, yet somewhat enticing.

                “Feels nice…” he moaned softly.

                “Babe?”

                “Junnie…what the fuck!!” Jeno’s eyes opened slightly when he heard his boyfriend’s voice, but he almost screamed and kicked when he realized it was a dog on his lap, licking at the crotch of his pants. Donghyuck didn’t even bother to stifle a laughter as the dog scurried away, his tongue still hanging out after he had spent the last few minutes sniffing and licking Jeno’s crotch.

                “Holy shit what the…”

                “Hahahahahahahaha!!! Not the morning call you were expecting, weren’t you?” Renjun teased, kissing Jeno’s temple softly.

                “Jesus Christ I was actually enjoying myself.” Jeno rubbed his eyes lazily. “Why didn’t you shoo it away?”

                “We didn’t notice the dog until a few minutes ago.” Mark said, gargling his mouth with some water before spitting it out by a tree just a few feet away. “So, how does it feel to get a blowjob from a dog?”

                “Wet.” Everyone laughed at Jeno’s extremely despondent and confused face.

                “You should be thankful. That’s the only kind of blowjob you’ll be getting on this road trip.”

                “Shut up Donghyuck.” Jeno stuck his tongue out. “At least I’m getting some.”

                “From a dog? Yeah sure, keep telling yourself that.” Donghyuck answered back, a smirk growing on his naughty face as Renjun slapped his arm, telling him to keep quiet but even he couldn’t stop laughing.

                “Yuck…now I really need a shower.”

                “I think we all do.” Mark agreed. “We need more wet wipes and lots more water. I don’t think we have enough for this journey.”

                “We found a nice waterfall a few miles along this highway.” Renjun said. “Maybe we can freshen up then. It’s not ideal but it’s the best solution for now.”

                “Okay everybody! Come grab your eggs and toast!” Donghyuck carried out a pan of fried eggs and toast he had buttered on one side. “I’d make coffee but there’s no press or beans here.”

                “It’s fine, have some soda.”

                “Soda in the morning?” Mark raised an eyebrow.

                “Hey, it’s not like our parents can mail us a full course English breakfast, now can they?” Jeno shrugged, chugging down some Mountain Dew. Breakfast was simple, high in calories and sugar (Mark knew that if his father found out he would have a heart attack) but it was enough to get them through till lunch.

                “We should stop for dinner at a nearby town or something.” Jeno said as they tried to clean up after breakfast, getting ready to hit the road again.

                “For some odd reason, I’m craving sushi.”

                “Me too, I’m craving burgers and fries.”

                “We can’t afford those. We’re on a budget remember?” Mark said.

                “You’re forgetting, I have my mother’s credit card.” Donghyuck grinned, flashing the card between his fingers. “It’s settled then. For the next dinner, we’re eating out!”

******************

                “What’s all this?” Donghyuck pointed at the pin-up board, where they had stuck all their necessary information, including the maps, nearest towns, list of emergency contacts and a picture of Scarwood Palace.

                “Our trip information.” Mark answered, resting his head against a stack of pillows. It was Jeno’s turn again at the wheel, so now he and Renjun were in front, as they were the only two who knew where the waterfall was.

                “What’s this place?”

                “That’s Scarwood Palace, our final destinantion.”

                “I’ve never heard of it.”

                “It’s an old legend. My dad told me that if you went to Scarwood Palace, you would find the answers you seek.”

                “What answers?”

                “The answers to your questions.”

                “How could going to a beat-up castle answer your questions? Is there a mystical shaman there who could see your future and tell you when you would die?”

                “I don’t know. When we arrive, you could ask that and see what you get as an answer.”

                “It’s probably just a bunch of bullshit. You know, made up legends to encourage tourism.”

                “It’s not bullshit okay?” Mark rolled his eyes. “Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean you get to knock the fun out of it.”

                “Okay I get it.” Donghyuck raised his hands in defeat. He didn’t want to cross Mark so he sat opposite him in the van as they drove down the highway. Donghyuck tucked his arms under his thighs as he bought them close to his chest. The van hit a small bump and Donghyuck was nearly thrown aside.

                “My bad! Missed that pothole!”

                “You better sit next to me.” Mark said, pulling Donghyuck’s arm. “Jeno has a tendency to lean to the left when he drives.”

                Donghyuck didn’t argue as he slowly crawled his way over to Mark and sat next to him, knees touching, hands touching, hearts palpitating.

******************

                “You sure this is the place?”

                “Yep! That’s the entrance. Sunny Point Waterfall.” Renjun pointed at a sign. “Turn left here Jeno!”

                “Woah.” Mark’s jaw dropped when they arrived upon the entrance. There were already lots of cars carrying other teenagers, parents with children and even tourists in buses. The parking lot itself was so full of people, it even had trashy gift shops and concession stands that made it look more like a jungle version of the Grand Canyon or something like that.

                “That is a lot of people. I don’t even think I can find a space to park.”

                “Let’s try parking some ways up there, and then we can walk.”

                “This is a bummer.” Donghyuck said. “There’s too many people for us to properly clean up. We can’t be going into the falls all naked and stuff.”

                “God look at all these cars. I guess we’re not the only one with the same idea.”

                “Jeno! Over there! There’s a space out front!” Mark pointed to a spot that just came into view. The van was parked and everyone aligned.

                “We’re in front of somebody’s property.” Renjun said, looking at a small wooden house that was a few feet away from their van. “Is it okay to park here?”

                “We don’t have a choice, we’re already way far out from the entrance.” Mark said. “It’s fine. Let’s not take too long. I’m sure whoever who lives here won’t mind.”

                “Then why is that old man staring at us with a shotgun in his hand?”

                “What the…”

                A wrinkled face with frowns so deep was staring at the four young boys from his window. He opened it and yelled “Get off my property you rascals or I’ll shoot your heads off!”

                “Run!!” the four of them ran from the van as the old man kept waving his fist in the air. Jeno could have sworn he was trying to raise a middle finger, but the man probably had carpel tunnel and couldn’t stretch that finger out.

******************

                “I seriously don’t think we can do this here.” Donghyuck shook his head at the crowd heading towards Sunny Point Falls. “There’s too many people.”

                “What do we do then?”

                “Relax and follow me guys.”

                “Donghyuck where are you…”

                “I wasn’t nominated to be leader of the Bears Club for no reason.” He grinned. “Do you know what my nickname was?”

                “What?”

                “It’s Hunter, because I can find just about anything as long as I set my mind to it. In fact I…”

                “How about finding yourself a mouth with zips and legs that walk?” Jeno shoved him playfully. “Just get on with it, there’s people behind us.”

                The four of them trekked off the beaten path. They passed three streams at the bottom, a smaller waterfall and even Sunny Point itself. Donghyuck took them higher and higher up for almost 3 hours.

                “Hyuck…where…” Mark panted heavily, shifting his backpack on his shoulders. “Where…are…we…”

                “Just a little more. Trust me.” Donghyuck said, pushing away some branches.

                “We…are...we…passed…”

                “Tada!” Donghycuk said as they came to a clearing, revealing a beautiful waterfall before them. The water was rushing down at top speed, creating a gorgeous curtain that emptied into a pool before them. The sun was shining just above it, and the best part: secluded and private.

                “Every land waterfall has a mother waterfall.” Donghyuck grinned. “We just have to climb higher to find it.”

                “It’s beautiful.” Renjun said in awe of its majesty.

                “Finally, god I am so sticky and sweaty.” Jeno peeled off his shirt and his pants. “Last one in here is a rotten egg!”

                “Lee Jeno wait!!!” Mark’s face was splashed by icy cold water as Jeno jumped in, splashing water all around.

                “Oh fuck yes! This is amazing! Renjun come on in!!” and another body jumped in.

                “Wait for me!!” Donghyuck peeled off all his clothes and jumped in, laughing as the cold water hit his hot skin, and he splashed about like a duck. Seconds later, Mark jumped in, and all four of them were laughing, splashing water all about.

                “Let’s get Mark hyung!”

                “What the…why me?!?!”

                “Because you were the last one, so you’re the rotten egg!!!”

                “Wait!!! Donghyuck if you try to…ah!!!!” he was dunked in by the youngest boy, before retaliating and trying to dunk him. All four of them were like this for a while, just splashing water on each other, trying to pull off each other’s underwear and screaming as they jumped went under the curtain of water, feeling nature pour down their heads and through every inch of their skin.

******************

                “Isn’t this paradise?”

                “It sure is.” Jeno said, patting Mark on the back as they made their way down the mountain. They said goodbye to Full of Pee Falls (aptly named because Donghyuck peed in it 3 times) and trekked down the mountain side. Renjun and Donghyuck were a few feet in front, with Renjun’s hands in Donghyuck as he wasn’t so experienced in trekking.

                “I’m glad we did this.” Mark smiled. “We would have never been able to find that waterfall if it wasn’t for Donghyuck.”

                “And to think, we were almost going to send him home.” Jeno grinned. “Glad we didn’t do that.”

                “Where should we head to next?”

                “It’s almost evening now. We should find a town and get something to eat.” Jeno said, carefully avoiding a fallen log as they continued their trek. “Look in front,” he pointed at the two boys, holding hands as they crossed a stream. “Isn’t that the most adorable thing you have ever seen?”

                “Yeah.”

                “My boyfriend and yours.”

                “Donghyuck is not my boyfriend.”

                “Sure.”

                “He’s not.”

                “Uh huh.”

                “Jeno,” Mark pulled him back. “Do you know something that I don’t?”

                “Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.”

                “Stop talking in riddles and spit it out.”

                “Why should I tell you everything? It spoils the fun of discovery.” Jeno teased. “Figure it out yourself.”

******************

                “Is he still watching us?” Donghyuck asked as he carefully entered the van. They didn’t dare came in from the front, not with that old man and his gun. Instead, they tried to crawl in through the back.

                “I don’t think so. He’s not at his window.” Mark said.

                “Old bastard.” Jeno grumbled. “He threatened to shoot us just because we stepped on his land. Seriously, this is a popular tourist destination! There were probably lots of other people who have trodden on his land.”

                “I can’t wait to get out of here. He gives me the creeps.” Renjun shuddered.

                “I don’t know about you but I’m still sticky.” Donghyuck groaned uncomfortably. “I totally forgot that we would sweat on our way down and get all sticky again.”

                “Me too.” Mark shifted in his seat. “We have to go find another shower again.”

                “I think there’s one…” the discussion was interrupted by a spray of water from the sprinklers in the old man’s yard. Donghyuck didn’t waste a single second in removing all his clothes once again.

                “Wait, what are you…HYUCK!!!!”

                “Come on guys!!!! It’s shower time!!” Donghyuck sprinted across the yard in his underwear, water dripping everywhere.

                “I don’t know about you but I’m going. Come on Renjun!”

                “What are you guys doing get back here!!!” Mark yelled from the van. “He could come back for us anytime!”

                “Oh yeah, well do you know what I really think of you, you old monster?!” Donghyuck yelled at the house. “This is what I think of you!” he turned around and flashed his bottom, raising two middle fingers in the air. Mark screamed in horror as he dashed out, running under the sprinklers and pulling Donghyuck in his arms.

                “ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED ?!?!?!”

                “Hey! What are you monsters doing?!?!?”

                “SHIT SHIT SHIT RUN!!!” Mark pushed Jeno and Renjun, dragging Donghyuck with his other hand. He climbed into the driver’s seat, all wet with water dripping and entering his eyes, but he couldn’t care less as he started the engine and shot off like a rocket. Donghyuck, Jeno and Renjun were screaming as the old man ran out his house, this time without his rifle, but he was waving his fists again angrily, mouthing curses so filthy no amount of Holy water could cleanse his dark soul.

                “Holy fuck…”

                “Oh my god you guys are insane!” Mark yelled. “Why did you just…you guys…”

                “That was fun!!!” Donghyuck cackled, grabbing a towel to wipe his body off. “Did you see his ugly face?!” he pulled a face and everyone in the back was laughing.

                “We are never doing this again.” Mark said, trying to sound serious, but he couldn’t stop a grin from forming on his lips. “That was a stupid mistake.”

                “We are teenagers Mark.” Jeno said. “We live on stupid mistakes.”


	4. Starry Nights and Sandy Beaches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is nothing more beautiful than Mother Nature's creation. Except maybe the person lying next to you.

_Renjun’s Playlist for Love Songs my Boyfriend Recommended that I Have Not Listened To_

_Love is a Temple-Alok ft Iro_

_“How many stars do you think are up there?”_

_“Millions.”_

_“How much grains of sand are there on the beach?”_

_“Millions.”_

_“How long do you think we will be together?”_

_“Eternity.”_

******************

                “Hyuck, calm down.” Renjun giggled, putting a hand on Donghyuck’s shoulder. “That’s your third burger tonight.”

                “I’m just really hungry.” Donghyuck mumbled with his mouth full. “We skipped lunch and climbed up a mountain. How are you not scarfing down your food like animals?”

                “Because we are civilised human beings with manners.” Jeno teased.

                “Screw manners. My stomach is still empty.”

                “Speaking of empty, we have to find a place to stop for gas tomorrow.” Mark said, slurping his McDonald’s soda. It’s not their first choice to go for McDonald’s but they were so hungry they stopped at the first restaurant they saw when they came into town. Donghyuck and Jeno even had a fight to see who got to line up first. Jeno won by a hair.

                “How long do we have until Scarwood Palace?” Renjun asked.

                “At least a day or two, especially since we keep stopping like this.” Jeno said. “I can’t even find it on the map. We got to stop for internet so that I can look it up or something.”

                “What do you think it’s going to be like?” Renjun asked. “I have always heard of it as a child, but then again I read somewhere that the place was abandoned or sold off.”

                “Hey, we’re on an adventure.” Mark said. “Let’s just enjoy until we get there and see what happens.”

                “Why did you want to go there in the first place?” Donghyuck asked.

                “I don’t know. I’ve always had a strange fascination for that place as a child.” Mark grinned. “Imagine. A mysterious castle where one of the wisest men in history once lived. Imagine the parties he must have had, the stories he could have told, the history that runs through it’s walls…they say that if you come to Scarwood Palace, you find the answers that you seek.”

                “What do you seek then? Do you have a burning question that you need answered?”

                “Mark wants to know which college he’s going to.” Jeno spoke up.

                “Unless you find a ghost who could hack into the university system I don’t think you would find the answer there.”

                “A ghost on the computer.” Renjun giggled. “Sounds funny.”

                “It’s not about my college applications.” Mark shook his head. “It’s about…I don’t know…I just really want to go there. It’s a childhood dream of mine.”

                “Are you having second thoughts about something?”

                Mark didn’t answer that question, because he didn’t know how to. Donghyuck noticed the change of expression in his face, and he knew he should not press the issue anymore. He took a napkin and brought it to Mark’s face, wiping his bottom lip.

                “Ketchup stain.”

                “Thanks.”

                Nobody noticed the little eyebrow wiggles Jeno was giving Renjun.

******************

                “We’re lost.”

                “We are not lost.” Jeno sighed for the umpteenth time as they took a small curve down a very dark, very bumpy, and very deserted country road. “We’re driving off course, isn’t that the whole point of this trip?”

                “This is not off course, we are going into the middle of nowhere.” Renjun complained, bringing his hands around his arms. “Can we please stop and get directions?”

                “Sure, let’s ask that owl we just passed.” Donghyuck climbed to the front from the back. “Turn around and head back to the highway.”

                “I don’t remember how we even came in here.” Jeno confessed, still focused on the road because it would be too dangerous if he got distracted.

                “It’s too late to go any further.” Mark said. “Let’s stop without going any….AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

                A wild deer just appeared in front of them and the whole van screamed. Jeno swerved to the right and he stepped on the pedal by mistake, the van going faster and further than anticipated. Everyone was bumping around in the back wildly. Renjun was thrown from side to side like a rag doll and Mark and Donghyuck kept knocking into each other as their things were all thrown about.

                _SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEECH_

                “Holy shit what was that?!?!?!” Jeno gasped, leaning against the steering wheel.

                “There are wild animals in this place!!” Renjun wailed loudly. “Let’s get out of here!!”

                “We can’t!! It’s too dark, there’s no phone reception and I don’t remember how we even came in here!” Jeno waved his hands frantically. “What do we do?”

                “Let’s get down.” Mark said.

                “Down?!?!? Has the ride knocked your brains out?! What is there is a bear waiting outside to chew us into little pieces and snakes that want to suck all our blood?!” Donghyuck flung himself on top of the mattress. “OH MY GOD WE ARE GOING TO DIE MOTHER I AM SO SORRY I HAVE BEEN SUCH A BAD SON I BROKE YOUR MUG AND SAID JAEHYUN DID IT I AM SO…”

                “Shh!!” Mark shushed him, fishing for a flashlight. “Let’s just get down to see where we are, and if it’s a safe enough spot, we’ll just camp here for tonight, wait for the sun to come out tomorrow morning and find our way out of here. Come on.”

                “All of us?!”

                “Yes come on!” Mark tossed another flashlight at Jeno, and the four of them got down. The first thing they felt was a soft breeze against their faces, a hint of saltiness in the air, and the sound of waves washing against the shore.

                “We must be by the shore.” Jeno waved his flashlight around, watching the waves pound against some rocks.

                “I don’t see any hills or cliffsides near us.”

                “Good.” Donghyuck breathed. “That means we’re by the beach. Tomorrow we can just follow the shoreline to a famous beach with tourists and find out how to get out of here.”

                “It looks like we have to sleep here tonight.”

                _WOO WOO_

                “Jeno!!!” Renjun ran into his boyfriend’s arms, burying his face in his chest. “What was that?”

                “It’s just an owl. They won’t hurt you.”

                “Ahhh!!” he squirmed as some more rustling could be heard. “Oh god I’m scared.”

                “Let’s get in the van. You’ll be safe. No one will hurt you.” Jeno rubbed the back of his head sweetly, kissing his temple.

                “God I’m going to throw up.”

                “What’s wrong? Motion sickness?” Mark asked Donghyuck.

                “No. Love sickness.”

******************

                The nights by the beach were cold and windy. Even with all doors closed and only two of the windows opened, Mark could still feel his toes shrink up because of the cold. Renjun and Jeno have already cuddled up tightly, Jeno’s nose buried in Renjun’s hair as he spent the last hour or so trying to calm his lover down.

                “Hyuck?” Mark called softly. “Are you up?”

                There was no reply, so Mark turned around. Donghyuck was not in his place, and his pillows and blanket have disappeared. “Hyuck? Hyuck?” Mark got up, slowly opening the door of the van and he saw a blanket drooping from the top of the van.

                “Hyuck? Donghyuck?”

                “Mark!”

                “What are you doing up there?”

                “You should come up here! There’s more space and the stars are beautiful! Bring your blankets and pillows!”

                It took some effort, but Mark finally got up, pillows and blankets in tow. He laid down and his eyes widen in the magnificence of the beauty above him. Millions of twinkling stars were above him, illuminating the night sky like the lights in a city. The sky was not a canvas of black, but rather whites and purples and dark blues. He was so taken aback by its beauty all he could say was:

                “Wow.”

                “I know right?” Donghyuck breathed, and Mark could imagine him smiling. “It’s beautiful.”

                “How could something so dark be so beautiful?”

                “There’s beauty in everything.” Donghyuck replied. “We just have to see it differently.”

                “Ooooo…” Mark teased. “Since when are you so poetic?”

                “Hey, this mouth can do more than just spit savagery,” Donghyuck sneered jokingly. “This mouth can sing, tell stories and jokes, and according to my exes, a darn good kisser too.”

                “You had an ex?”

                “Exes.” Donghyuck said, tucking his hands behind his head.

                “How come I didn’t know that?”

                “You were too busy with your own life.” Donghyuck shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I only dated two people.”

                “Who did you date?”

                “There was Somi from biology, but then she went back to her old boyfriend. Then there was Jaemin from the football team.”

                “Oh yeah. I remember Jaemin, but I didn’t know about Somi. You dated both boys and girls?”

                “Yeah.” He nodded. “They were both really hot in their own way.”

                “So you’re bisexual? How long have you known?”

                “Since I was 12 I guess. I don’t really remember.” His voice was a soft timbre against the sounds of the leaves rustling due to the ocean breeze. “I talked to Jaehyun about it and he said I was entitled to fall in love with anyone I wanted.”

                “What about your mum?”

                “All she wanted to know was if I was using condoms and if Jaemin liked pork pies for dinner.” He laughed. “She really liked him, and was pretty disappointed we broke up. Dad on the other hand just said ‘don’t bring back a baby or I’ll throw you out of the house’. I guess he was more into fishing than my love life.”

                “That’s nice.” Mark said. “I didn’t even tell my dad about my first kiss. He would have a fit. I think he would skin Jennie if he knew that I kissed her.”

                “You kissed Jennie? The captain of the cheer-leading squad?!?!”

                “Technically, she kissed me first.” Mark said. “We were partners in chemistry class and she just kissed me, but she said I reminded her of a dead fish.”

                “Bitch.” Donghyuck rolled his eyes, sniggering slightly. “Who is she to judge? She’s been fucking Dongho and he looks like the lovechild of the Hulk Hogan and a celery stick.”

                “Hyuck!” Mark slapped the younger’s arm lightly as they giggled together. “It wasn’t all that bad. She had cherry lipstick on and she knew what she was doing.”

                “You should have let your dad skin her apart.” Donghyuck laughed.

                “I don’t know about that.”

                “Was there someone else after her?”

                “No.”

                “You sure?”

                “Yeah.”

                “Not even my brother?”

                “You…” Mark bolted up, looking at Donghyuck, who was just lying down and tapping his feet carelessly. “How did you…”

                “Oh come on, it’s not that hard to figure out.” Donghyuck waved a hand carelessly, as if he was swatting a fly. “You get that dopey, dazed-out look every time you see him, and you’re always trying to impress him.”

                “I am not.”

                “Yes you are,” Donghyuck scoffed. “You were never competitive with me when Jaehyun is not around, but when he shows up suddenly you have to prove that you are stronger than me, faster than me, smarter than me. You always have to show that you are older and cooler so that you match up to his league and not mine.”

                “Hyuck I…”

                “You should never lie under the stars.” Donghyuck turned to his side, facing Mark. “Don’t you know that they are God’s eyes watching you from above?”

                Mark laid down on his back, watching the stars twinkle from above him. Maybe if he stared hard enough, he could disappear into the galaxy and never come back.

                “Do you still like him?”

                “Who?”

                “The Queen of England.” Donghyuck groaned. “My brother you egghead.”

                “Oh,” Mark could feel his face heat up. “I don’t know. It has been a while.”

                “How long have you had a crush on him?”

                “I think almost two years.”

                “You had a crush on him for two years and you didn’t say anything?”

                “Come on, he’s not going to be interested in a high school kid.”

                “You’ll be going to college soon.”

                “Yeah but then I’ll be a freshman while he’s a senior. Who has ever heard of a senior dating a freshman?”

                “So what’s the big deal? It’s just age.” Donghyuck shrugged. “It’s not like he’s 75 and you’re 15 years old. It’s only a couple of years. Who do they make it sound like a senior dating the new kid in college is some sort of forbidden relationship that you could be hung for?”

                “Are you saying I should confess to Jaehyun?”

                “If it makes you feel better and gets it out of your system.” Donghyuck said, turning on his back and his head tilted another way.

                “I can’t do that.”

                “Why not?”

                “I’m not you, okay?” Mark sighed. “I’m not as brave as you are. I’m not the kind to just speak up and express how I feel as freely as you do. I don’t have the guts to just confess like you would.”

                “Why do you think I’m brave?”

                “Because you confessed to Jaemin. Didn’t you?”

                “Yeah,” Donghyuck mumbled. “but still I…”

                “Still what?”

                “Nothing.” Donghyuck replied.

                Mark didn’t say anything after that. The two of them just stared up the sky, feeling the ocean breeze through their bodies as they squirmed under the sheets. Mark turned on his side, facing Donghyuck. “Good night.”

                “Good night.”

                The last thing Mark saw before his eyes closed, were Donghyuck’s long lashes fluttering against the bottom ones, and the pale moonlight washing his skin in its gentle light.

******************

                Mark felt the morning heat immediately through his blanket, and as he shrugged it off in an attempt to get more comfortable, he opened his eyes and saw, just in front of him, the morning sun, rising above the horizons.

                “Wow…” he muttered again. A sunrise. The very first in his lifetime.

                Mark looked at his side, and Donghyuck was no longer there. He climbed down the roof of the van carefully, slipped on his slippers, ran a hand through his hair to try and smoothen it out. Jeno and Renjun were still asleep inside the van. It was still pretty early anyways.

                The call of the sea was alluring. Mark made his way to the shore, sand getting in between his toes. A tent was set up not too far from where they were, and two men were sitting in the tent, pouring themselves a cup of coffee. One of them flashed Mark a smile and beckoned him with a cup.

                “Good morning. Coffee?”

                “Er, no thank you I…”

                “Oh we insist!” the other man handed him the cup anyways. “My name is Hansol and this is my boyfriend Yuta. We have been camping here for the past few nights too.”

                “Well uhm… thank you. I’m Mark.” Mark smiled, shaking their hands. “Have you seen another guy? Tall, black hair…”

                “Mark!” Mark turned to where his name was called and he saw Donghyuck coming towards him from the other end of the beach.

                “Hyuck!”

                “Look at all this stuff!” Donghyuck came with his hands full of seashells and odd shaped rocks. “Have you seen a shell shaped like this?”

                “No,” Mark said, holding up a cone shaped shell. “It’s pretty.”

                “Let’s get the rest of them up. Yuta and Hansol invited us for breakfast.”

                “You know them?”

                “I met them and talked to them for about an hour before you woke up.” He said. “They said they could show us the way out after breakfast. They are heading back to the city after this.”

                “Oh, that’s cool.” Donghyuck walked off towards the van while Mark turned to Yuta and Hansol.

                “Thanks for inviting us for breakfast.”

                “No problem.” Yuta smiled. “Your boyfriend is very nice.”

                “Boyfriend?”

                “Yeah, is he not?”

                “Uhm…no. We’re just friends.”

                “Really?” Hansol asked. “From the way he looked at you I could have sworn you two were together. Go figure eh?”

                Mark looked at them in confusion. His eyes darted back to Donghyuck, who was getting into the van. He thought of Donghyuck running towards him in the sun, his hands full of shells and that child-like grin he had on his face. He thought of the night before, lying on the roof of the van, talking about love and laughing about it as well.

                Donghyuck exited the van with Renjun in tow. He smiled at Mark and unknowingly, Mark smiled back.

 


	5. I'm Not Talking To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuta tries to give Donghyuck some good advice, while Mark learns a shocking secret from Jeno.

_Donghyuck’s Playlist for Cooking By An Open Fire_

_Girl at Coachella- Matoma & MAGIC! Featuring D.R.A.M_

_“Did you know that Hansol and I actually went to Coachella a few years ago?”_

_“Really? How was it?”_

_“We drank too much, ate too much, made love in the tents all night and had our wallets stolen. It was the best time of our lives.”_

******************

                We are 5 chapters into this story and I just realized that I have not properly explained Mark and Donghyuck’s relationship. I’m sure you all know by now that Mark and Donghyuck are childhood friends, and that Mark had a crush on Donghyuck’s older and more perfect brother Jaehyun. What I might have neglected to tell you is that Donghyuck had been stewing feelings for the boy next door for as long as he can remember.

                Donghyuck’s crush on Mark went back as far as when they were still 12 years old. When Donghyuck was beginning to realize he was attracted to boys as well as girls, he found Mark charming and funny. That boy next door with the sweet smile and funny laugh that you find great comfort in. Falling in love when you are a teenager is of course a lot more complicated than that. Even after a short romance with Somi, and a longer, more serious relationship with Jaemin, Donghyuck found himself going back to Mark. He could be holding hands with Somi, or kissing Jaemin with his hands under his shirt, but when he closes his eyes, he would imagine Mark instead of them.

                Donghyuck knew Mark had a crush on his elder brother instead. As he said before, it wasn’t hard to notice. Instead of snapping at him and crushing his dreams, Donghyuck stayed quiet. He hoped the longer he stayed quiet, the faster it would go away. Like a wart on your body or some dirty secret you would hope to forget one day. Things became easier when Jaehyun left for college and he didn’t see him as often as before, but for some reason, Donghyuck could never find the courage to tell Mark how he truly felt.

                Maybe it was because he was afraid of rejection.

                Maybe he was afraid he would lose Mark.

                Maybe it was because he knew deep down inside, Mark would never feel the same way for him.

                So why bother mentioning something that won’t happen?

                It was a little creepy that Yuta could see through Donghyuck so easily after just 10 minutes of meeting him. Breakfast with them was a mix of slightly charred pancakes, fruits and coffee with milk. After breakfast, Mark and Jeno had gone off for a stroll along the beach while Renjun wanted to take some photos. Donghyuck offered to help clean up after breakfast, to thank Yuta and Hansol for their hospitality. While cleaning up the pan they used to make pancakes, Yuta looked at him with a smile and said:

                “Mark seems like a nice young man.”

                “He is.” Donghyuck grinned unknowingly. “We are childhood friends.”

                “How long have you had a crush on him?”

                “I…what?”

                “You do have a crush on him, don’t you?”

                “How did you…”

                “It’s pretty obvious.” Yuta giggled. “Don’t be embarrassed. You should see me when I first met Hansol. I had red cheeks, ears and I stammered like a jackhammer.”

                And to think earlier the night before, Donghyuck was making fun of Mark’s crush on his brother. He felt his cheeks heat up as he shifted uncomfortably.

                “A couple of years.”

                “Thinking about confessing?”

                “Probably not. He has a crush on my older brother, and he’s going away to college.”

                “Ah…” Yuta nodded. “I had a crush on a guy like that too.”

                “Really? How did it turn out for you?”

                “I didn’t say anything. Eventually he moved out of the country and I never saw him again. That’s how I ended up with Hansol.”

                Donghyuck laughed at that. “So what you’re saying is, I should just wait for the next person?”

                “No,” Yuta laughed as well. “I don’t regret meeting Hansol. He is the light of my life, but I wonder sometimes, you know what I mean? I wonder if things would have been any better or worse if I had expressed myself.”

                Yuta pulled Donghyuck closer, and almost whispered in his ears.

                “Sometimes the wondering is the part that kills you.”

******************

                “You kids know how to surf?” Hansol asked Mark and Jeno as they sat down under the shade of some coconut trees, Hansol’s tan skin glistening in the sun.

                “No.” they shook their heads.

                “Perfect.” He beamed. “Now you get to learn.”

                “I didn’t know you could surf in these waters.” Mark said.

                “You can’t, but you can float on them. Come on boys, help me get it down.”

                Mark, Jeno and Hansol took down his surfboard from atop his camper van, and the three carried the yellow and white surfboard all the way out into the sea. The sea was a beautiful shade of aqua blue, the sun’s rays reflecting off the water, making the waves glitter from far. The sea was too calm to surf on, but Hansol pushed the board out and made Mark and Jeno get on it.

                “Can two people…”

                “This is a big enough board, go on.”

                With some struggle, both boys got on it and Hansol pushed them out into the water. Jeno almost lost his balance once and Mark yelped when Hansol started kicking and pushing at full force, but when they arrived in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by blue waters, the sun on their skin and the breeze through their hair, suddenly there was nothing better than sitting on a surfboard in the ocean.

                “What do you think? Beautiful isn’t it?”

                “It’s awesome.” Jeno said. “Do you guys do this all the time?”

                “Oh yeah. Yuta and I make it a pact to travel and camp somewhere every year as a vacation.”

                “What do you guys do?”

                “I’m an accountant and he manages a hedge fund.”

                “So you guys work in offices?”

                “Yeah. It’s not that exciting.” Hansol made a face. “That’s why we love to do this, you know. Away from society, away from your stupid boss, away from pressures from our families. Just nature and all she has to offer.”

                You don’t look like you work in a boring office.” Mark said. “You look…you look like you have been doing this your whole life.”

                “Maybe I should eh?” Hansol laughed. “After all, life is short. Might as well make the most of it.”

                “Hansol!!!!”

                “It’s Yuta, I’m going to see what’s up. You kids stay here. If you want to move, just use your arms to paddle.” Hansol swam back to shore, leaving Mark and Jeno on the surfboard, legs kicking in the water.

                “He looks too good to be a boring accountant.” Mark said.

                “Tell me about it.” Jeno laughed. “Maybe it’s the tan.”

                “He looks like a pro surfer.”

                “Maybe I’ll get one when I move to America.”

                “Wait,” Mark stopped him. “Move to America?”

                “Well…” Jeno sighed. “I didn’t tell you about this because I wanted to be sure, but…Renjun won a scholarship to study at UCLA in California.”

                “So?”

                “You know my sports scholarship?”

                “Yeah. You were supposed to go to EXO U.”

                “I’ve been talking to them and we’re trying to see if I can get transferred to UCLA too.”

                “’Oh.” Mark was utterly dumbstruck. “You want to move to America?”

                “It’s been a dream of mine.” Jeno smiled a little. “They were very supportive and my parents even said they would fork out the rest of the money if my scholarship couldn’t cover it.”

                “Is it a dream of yours or are you going because of Renjun?”

                “Hey, that’s…”

                “Mark!! Jeno!!” Hansol called from the shore. “Time to roll back in!!”

                “Come on Mark.” Jeno said, dipping his arms into the water and paddling.  Mark paddled behind him while silently wondering if he was discreet enough, could he push Jeno off the board, paddle off, and make it look like an accident.

******************

                “Where do we head for next?”

                “Let’s just drive to the nearest city and call it a night.” Jeno said, pulling his map out as Mark took control of the van. Renjun and Donghyuck were napping at the back of the van, little snores escaping Renjun’s mouth. Jeno smiled at them affectionately.

                “God, he looks so cute when he sleeps.”

                “You didn’t tell me you were going to America.” It was less of a question and more of a statement.

                “I didn’t want to tell you until it was confirmed.”

                “And when was that going to be? Graduation? Prom? When I walk up to your door and find you gone forever? At the airport?”

                “Jeez Mark calm down. I was going to tell you as soon as I had gotten a confirmation. You were going to be the first person to know.”

                “Why are you doing this though? Why are you leaving?”

                “UCLA has a good sports programme, and I’ve always wanted to study abroad.”

                “Is it the ball, or Renjun that made you decide?”

                “So I’m going with my boyfriend. What’s the big deal?”

                “What’s the big deal?! Jeno, we are supposed to be best friends and you didn’t tell me about this life changing decision until you accidentally spurted it out! I can’t believe you would leave the country just to follow your boyfriend.”

                “What’s that supposed to mean?”

                “I mean…you can’t even speak English. You hated that class so much so failed it on purpose.”

                “Are you saying I was making the wrong decision?”

                “I’m saying you let your obsession with your high school boyfriend cloud your future judgement.”

                “Hey, just because I’m getting the chance to follow my dreams doesn’t mean you get to put down the fact that you don’t!!”

                “What’s going on?” Renjun whined out softly, getting up and rubbing his eyes. “Is everything okay?”

                “It’s fine. Mark is just being a bitch.” Jeno rolled his eyes. Mark scoffed lightly, but he had to stay focused on the road. He chewed his bottom lip in anger, feeling Jeno’s cold presence overtake the front part of the bus.

                “Turn left here Mark.”

                “The sign said to go right.”

                “We’re following the map. Turn left.”

                “But the sign…”

                _BOOOOOM!!!_

                “What the fuck!” Mark swerved to the side, stopping the van immediately and getting off. He saw the rear left tyre was completely deflated and he nearly kicked the stupid van in frustration.

                “Damn it! Flat tyre!”

                “Don’t panic, I’ve got a spare under the seat. Mark, come on and help me out here.” Jeno said, grabbing Mark’s arm. Donghyuck, who was asleep all this time, finally opened his eyes.

                “What happened?”

                “Flat tyre.” Mark grunted, carrying the spare.

                “That’s terrible.” He got off the bus and sighed. That piece of rubber was the flattest thing he had seen since the pancakes earlier in the morning.

                “Do you guys need help?”

                “We should be fine for now. Try finding a call box or something.”

                “Okay, come on Renjun.” Donghyuck wrapped an arm around Renjun’s shoulders as they walked away. Mark and Jeno were still busy looking for tools when suddenly, a loud screeching sound could be heard from afar. Then, something banged into the back of the van, throwing Mark and Jeno off balance and a huge crashing sound could be heard.

                “Holy…” a car had banged into the side of the van, breaking its lights and denting the left side and crashed into a sign post. It was a beautiful baby pink Ford Mustang and it just ran into a post and damaged the front like paper.

                “Oh my god…” Jeno’s jaw dropped from shock, and he just stood there in pure horror.

                “Is anyone…” Mark inched closer to the car, for its windows were tinted and he couldn’t see who was in it. He reached for the handle, opened the door and whoever was inside slapped him a very expensive leather bag from Louis Vuitton.

                “That will teach you to crash my car!”

                A tall girl emerged from the other side, obviously shaken but still holding up. The girl who slapped Mark with her bag finally emerged from the car. She had on yellow Louboutins, a tight leather skirt, her silky hair parted to the left and her eyes looked like they could kill.

                “Oh shit.”


	6. Stuck in the City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The van is down, and the girl who caused it is making trouble.

_Mark’s Playlist for I’m Screwed Even If It’s Not My Fault_

_Young and Menace-Fall Out Boy_

_“WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!?!”_

_“Dad it’s just a small acc…”_

_“Where are you?! I’m getting the car and coming out to you!”_

_“Dad you cannot just…”_

_“Ignore your dad Mark. I’ll handle him. Call a mechanic and talk to the girl. If she wants to go to the police station, call us ASAP.”_

******************

                “Is your dad coming out?” Donghyuck asked, shuffling his feet inside the mechanic’s shop in the nearest city of SM.

                “No thank god.” Mark sighed, putting his phone away. His dad has made a lot of careless decisions in life. Bought too much spaghetti, installed a useless home burglar system that did nothing but scared the neighbour’s cat. If anything, his best move (aside from having Mark with his mother) was marrying Johnny. “Jeno, how’s the van?”

                “You want the good news or the bad news first?”

                “Bad news.”

                “The van needs to stay here for a few days for necessary repairs. Not only did we bust a tyre but there is also a small problem with the transmission as well as the bent and scratch. I asked if we could delay the transmission problem because it doesn’t seem like such a big deal, but my dad said I should just get it fixed.”

                “Okay, then what’s the good news?”

                “I got no more bad news.”

                “Great.” Renjun sighed. “We are without a ride, a place to stay and we have to delay our trip by a few more days.”

                “How much is this going to cost us?” Donghyuck asked.

                “I didn’t dare ask. We got insurance for this thing, my dad is going to call up the company. There’s no way we can pay for it by cash.”

                “You know what, that bitch ought to pay. She was the one who slammed our van and dragged us all the way here.” Donghyuck stomped his foot on the ground. He turned to look at the two girls, whose beautiful car was parked right next to their van, it’s front damaged badly by the accident. The girl who smacked Mark’s face with her purse was visibly annoyed as she texted somebody while her friend was just sitting around checking her makeup.

                “Hey you!!”

                “Who’s calling?” The girl on her phone asked, looking around the garage.

                “You with the ugly shoes and big ass purse! I’m talking to you!”

                “What did you say about my shoes?!”

                “I said…” a hand reached over to muffle Donghyuck’s mouth.

                “Don’t antagonize her!!” Mark said.

                “Like I give a flying shit.” Donghyuck snapped, pushing Mark’s hand away. “You, the one who drove into us! You owe us an apology, money and at least 6 month’s worth of burgers!”

                “Excuse me but I don’t owe you anything.” The girl spat out, tucking her phone away in her purse. “Your frumpy van was the one stuck by the side, blocking that sign. If it wasn’t there, I would have just crashed into the post and avoided your van!”

                “Where in God’s name do you get your license from?” Donghyuck huffed. “Because people like you shouldn’t be even be crossing roads much less driving.”

                “I just happen to be a little distracted. It’s not my fault.” She pouted. “I told Daddy I needed a bigger review mirror to do my makeup but he said no.”

                “You were trying to do makeup in your car?” Mark dropped his jaw.

                “It wasn’t really makeup, more like touch ups. Joy was the one trying to change her bra in the car!”

                The boys couldn’t quite believe what they were hearing. It was like something out of a Mr. Bean movie. All these couldn’t possibly be true.

                “Whatever,” Donghyuck shook his head. “You owe us big time for crashing into our van!”

                “What my friend is trying to say is,” Mark elbowed Donghyuck to try and get him to shut up. “Is that we should take this to the police station.”

                “No no no!!” the girls shook their heads in panic. “We can’t go back there again!”

                “Again?” Jeno raised an eyebrow.

                “Yeri! If your dad finds out…”

                “I know I know.” Yeri sighed, pulling her friend Joy away from the boys as they went into a corner, whispering something into each other’s ear.

                “Why did you ask me to shut up?”

                “Because if you do the negotiating we might _really_ end up behind bars.” Mark hushed. The girls turned around and walked towards them, their heels clacking loudly against the garage floor.

                “We can strike a deal. A compensation of some sort, if you agree to not bring this to the police.” Yeri said.

                “That sounds like a good idea.” Mark breathed a sigh of relief. “Maybe we should go some place, cool down and have a proper negotiation.”

                “Let’s just go back to my place.” Yeri said.

                “Fine, how do we get there?” Donghyuck asked.

                “Let me make a call.” Yeri said, bringing out her phone. “Driver, I need you to pick me up.”

******************

                “So you guys have been travelling on the road like this for a few days already?”

                “It’s been at least 2 days.”

                “That is so cool.” Yeri said, resting her chin on palm as she lazily swirled her tea with her gold porcelain spoon. “Tell me more about it Mark.”

                “Excuse me sir, could we have some more of that cake?” Donghyuck asked, giving his plate to the house butler, who simply nodded politely and went off for more cake. When the boys were picked up by the family Rolls Royce and dropped off at the family’s 15-bedroom mansion on a hill overlooking the city, they were immediately greeted by the family butler and bought to the tea room, where they had a very expensive collection of cakes, sweets and drunk out of fine china that you have to mortgage a house for.

                “I think we can save the rest of the story for later.” Mark smiled embarrassingly. “We need to talk about the accident.”

                “Yesh, we want pull comphenshasion…”

                “Don’t talk with your mouth full.” Mark nudged him again. “We are asking for compensation to fix the bend…”

                “The whole package.” Jeno piped up, sipping his tea with his pinky in the air. “Is this how they do it?” he asked Renjun, waving his pinky in the air.

                “Well,” Yeri rolled her eyes so subtly Mark almost couldn’t catch it. “I’ll pay for the full expenditure of the van if you won’t go to the police.”

                “Deal.” Donghyuck swallowed his cake and gave a thumbs-up. “By the way the cakes are delicious.”

                “Thank you. The patisserie who made them studied exclusively in France.”

                “Oh. In that case, it could use a little more dressing.”

                “Don’t mind Donghyuck, he’s like that.” Mark laughed awkwardly, secretly digging his nails into Donghyuck’s thigh and the boy squirmed in pain. “He doesn’t mean you any harm.”

                “I’m sure he doesn’t.”

                “Well it’s nice meeting you Yeri and thank you for the food but we should get going.”

                “Where are you going?”

                “We have to look for a place to stay while the van is getting fixed.” Renjun said, wiping his lips with the stain napkins.

                “You don’t have to do that. You can just stay here with me.”

                “Are you high- I mean serious?” Jeno asked, eyes wide open in total shock.

                “Yeah, here with me in a large mansion with a private butler, two swimming pools and a bowling alley.” Yeri showed off, the jewels on the bracelet she wore swinging around carelessly. “Why would you say no to that?”

                “We can’t,” Mark said, looking at his friends. “But we really can’t…”

                “What he means to say is,” now Donghyuck was the one who slapped his hand against Mark’s mouth. “Is that we thank you for the generous offer, and we accept-“  he glared at Mark for a few seconds  “but we insist on paying you back in some way.”

                “As long as you don’t tell anyone you are here.” Yeri said. “My dad is gone for a whole month but he will freak out when he finds out that I brought in 4 strangers to live with me for a while.”

                “A whole month? Where is he?”

                “Mexico, I think. Or maybe Argentina? Whatever, doesn’t matter.” Yeri waved carelessly. “So, I let you stay here and pay for your van, while you don’t go to the police and don’t even breathe a word about you staying here. Deal?”

                “Is there a jacuzzi in this place?” Donghyuck asked one last time.

                “3rd floor, east wing, bathroom number 7.”

                “We have a deal.”

******************

                Now, you may be wondering: I thought this was a road trip story about 4 boys? Who the hell is this Yeri character and is she important to this story? The answer to those 3 questions are yes, I’ll get to that and not to everyone, but certainly to Mark’s.

                Yeri’s character is not unlike the high school bitch everyone has at least one memory of. That girl who thinks she is the top dog. That girl with more money than hair on her head, whose hair by the way is always flawlessly silky and smooth. That girl who dated the captain of the football team, student body president AND the leader of the chess club all at the same time while voted captain of the cheerleading squad. The girl you hate but can’t help wishing you were her.

                At this point, I’m sure you must be questioning this child’s thought process. What in God’s name is she doing applying makeup while driving? She was on her way back home from a party outside of the town with her best friend Joy, and because she was in a rush to leave she didn’t get time to fix her makeup. Why is she so adamant about not going to the police? Well what 18-year-old kid wants to be put in jail? And why did she agree to letting Mark and his friends, 4 complete strangers, stay with her? That one is obvious, because Mark is, to quote teenage girls, _hot_.

                Mark would never agree to that. He would always say he is just normal looking, but by high school standards, Mark is a pretty attractive boy. He’s tall and lean (a little on the skinny side, but not too skinny), with nice eyes he picked up from his father, and a cute nose that crinkles when he smiles. He has dark eyebrows that contrasts nicely with his fair skin, and well-defined cheekbones for a teenager his age. It’s no wonder Yeri found him attractive, but Mark is too dense and innocent to pick up flirting signs like this so quickly.

                Donghyuck on the other hand, knew it from the moment they stepped foot into the garage back in town, and in usual Donghyuck fashion, he would not stop teasing Mark about it.

                “She is so into you.”

                “She is not.” Mark said, after they had settled in their rooms (one each because there were so many to choose from) and gathered in the main living hall.

                “Renjun, square with me. Is Yeri interested in Mark, or not?”

                “I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention.”

                “Jeno?”

                “Neither was I.”

                “Seriously, is everyone here born with one eye or something?” Donghyuck groaned. “She is so into Mark.”

                “She is not. How could she be when we’ve only known each other for an hour?”

                “Then why would she let strangers into her house for a few days? She could have very easily thrown us out onto the streets, give us our money and call it a day. Why does she want us around her? Aren’t people like us supposed to be beneath her?”

                “Why, just because we’re not rich like she is?” Jeno asked.

                “Grow up guys. Did you see the way she first looked at us? It was like we were disgusting amoebas sucking the life out of a dead fish.” Donghyuck crossed his arms. “Then, Mark started talking and all of a sudden he’s the bee’s knees and she keeps looking at him with googly eyes and pretending to be interested in our sweaty, unwashed and naked road trip story.”

                “Come on, Yeri is a nice girl.” Mark said, trying to offer some defence for their host.

                “Sure she is, because you are here.” Donghyuck laughed. “If it was me she would have cast me aside like a pair of knock offs of those ugly shoes she was wearing.”

                “That’s because you keep antagonizing her.”

                “Hello, she ran into our van.” Donghyuck said, rolling his eyes. “Did you all forget that she caused the accident or has the luxury of this Playboy mansion blinded you?”

                “Stop acting like this Hyuckie.” Renjun said, placing a hand on his arm. “Let’s just be thankful we have a roof over our heads.”

                “Renjun is right. This would be the last and only piece of luxury we could afford on this trip.”

                “Fine.” Donghyuck nodded, because it was true. “Mark,” he called, wriggling his eyebrows. “You should go and talk to her.”

                “Why?”

                “Flirt with her a little and maybe she’ll take us out dinner, dancing and probably a trip to Hawaii.”

                “Shut up Hyuck.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to make clear about the next few chapters of this story. First of all, I adore Red Velvet and Yeri is my child XD But I wanted to find a character that is not only the same age as Mark but also completely different from him, so I chose Yeri. It's not my original intention to make her as the bitch or the 'bad girl' in this story but rather to make a complicated character that can clearly showcase the struggles many teenagers share. In the next chapter you will understand Yeri better and get a glimpse into her circle of friends (for the record, Jihoon and Woojin from Wanna One will be characters XD ) and by the end of this part of the story I hope you will be able to see the growth in Mark's character. Do leave comments and let me know what you think so far!!!


	7. Dancing in the Moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang meets Yeri's gang for the first time, and tries 'adulting' for the first time.

_Yeri’s Playlist for Being A Bitch and Not Caring About It_

_Anaconda-Nicki Minaj_

_“You have your eyes on that guy, don’t you?”_

_“What are you talking about Joy?”_

_“Mark. I can see it in your face.”_

_“Oh Joy, if you think I would make a play for a stranger like him, knowing my dad would kill me, you’re absolutely right.”_

******************

                “So, what do you guys do for fun?” Yeri asked over dinner at home. Dinner was a ‘simple’ 3 course meal of filet mignon, tiramisu for dessert and black truffle salad as an appetizer. Sadly, Renjun didn’t like the truffles and kept sneaking them into Jeno’s salad. Mark pretended not to notice Yeri rolling her eyes at them.

                “We just hang out, watch movies, play video games and stuff like that.” Jeno answered.

                “That’s cool. Maybe we can watch something together tonight.” Yeri said, her eyes flitting left and right.

                “You know, there’s a really cool movie on. It’s…” Yeri really wasn’t interested in anything Donghyuck, Renjun or even Jeno had to say. She took out her phone, and started texting her best friend Joy, who had returned home for dinner but said she was going to meet them her after that. Mark was listening intently to his friends, chewing on his piece of steak. She watched that little mole on his neck bob up and down as he chewed his food, stomping his foot a little in excitement as he talked to his friends.

                _God damn it he’s cute._

                She looked up to find her servants had left the room. She checked her phone for a message from Joy and smiled. “Guys, I have an even better idea.”

                “What is it?”

                “Let’s go out to meet some other friends of mine.”

                “What are we going to do?”

                “You’ll see.” She grinned playfully. “I don’t usually know what we do but we always have a good time at the end.”

                “I’m cool with it.”

                “Me too.”

                “Me three.”

                “If they go, then I go.”

                “Awesome. After dinner, go get changed into something comfortable. Joy will meet us here.”

                “Are we doing something athletic?” Mark asked. He saw Yeri give a shrug.

                “We’ll find out when we meet them.”

******************

                “Yo, cheeks.” Yeri said, giving her friend a peace sign as she gave him a hug, Joy following soon after. The 6 of them had made their way to a nearby park, where teenagers in fancy sports cars and Hummers stood about. There were about 5 of them, a mix of male and female. “This is Dino. Over there are some of my other friends Chaeyoung and Tzuyu and that’s Jihoon and Woojin.”

                “Hi.”

                “So you guys were involved in that accident Yeri told us about eh?” Jihoon asked, tucking his hands in his pockets.

                “You don’t look like you’re from around here.” Tzuyu said.

                “We’re not.” Mark answered. “We’re from N City.”

                “That’s a long way from here.” Chaeyoung was dressed in a white halter top that was cropped coupled with camo pants and some really expensive looking sneakers. Her hair was cut short and she had a rather cheeky smile on her face. Tzuyu on the other hand was the opposite. She had long, silky hair, was dressed in a baby blue sweater with black shorts and again, another pair of extremely expensive sneakers. She had a rather pensive look on her face, observing rather than interacting.

                “We’re just travelling before we graduate and leave for college.”

                “Ah, college.” Woojin looked up at the dark sky. “I can’t wait to get out of this shitty town and into life.”

                “As if London is all that exciting.” Dino rolled his eyes. “I’ve been there and it’s boring. The weather is hormonal and the food stinks.”

                “But at least by then I’ll be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want, _whoever_ I want.”

                The group burst into laughter, leaving Mark and his friends semi-confused. Mark looked at Jeno who just shrugged. He didn’t understand what was so funny either.

                “So what are we all doing tonight?” Donghyuck asked. He looked around and he had a feeling he was the only junior in a group full of seniors. Luckily, no one said a word.

                “Joy, you got the goods?” Dino asked.

                “It’s in my car.”

                “What goods? What are we doing?”

                “How good are you all at art?”

                “I’m lousy but Renjun is pretty good.”

                “Then jump in.” Jihoon said, climbing into his Hummer, leaving the backdoor open. “You’re going to like this.”

******************

                “Grab one.”

                “Spray paint?”

                “That’s right.” Jihoon said, disembarking from the Hummer. “Time to let our creative juices flow.” The group arrived at an alley, a brick wall laid exposed in contrast to the other walls that were painted or even tiled up. Chaeyoung picked up a can and was already started to spray on the walls.

                “Is this legal?”

                “Who knows?” he just shrugged. Mark was a little stunned by his carefree response as he jumped down. Dino was playing music through his car stereo and Yeri opened the back of her car, revealing bottles of beer that she tossed carefully to Tzuyu.

                “Vandalism and beer.” Jihoon smirked, putting an arm around Mark as they walked together.

                “What if someone catches us?”

                “They don’t. My dad owns the police station.” He laughed loudly. “Like he would let his precious son stay in jail.”

                “Which is probably why he bailed you but left us instead the last time.” Woojin scoffed, knocking his beer bottle against the hood of his car and the cap flew open.

                “What did you guys do?”

                “It was nothing really.” Jihoon shrugged. “We broke into our principal’s house.”

                “You did WHAT?!?!” Jeno dropped his jaw in shock.

                “We didn’t steal anything.” Woojin defended himself, taking a swig of his beer. “Dino was going to toilet paper his entire kitchen because he gave us detention for being late. How did we know he was having an affair with the school secretary?”

                “I saw Principal Lee’s penis.” Tzuyu shivered in disgust. “That was the most traumatising thing that ever happened.”

                “The old monster freaked out when he saw us in his bedroom and called the police. The joke’s on him because the next day, Yeri posted those pictures of him in bed with Miss Jihyo and it went viral. The day we went back to school was the day he ‘voluntarily retired’.”

                “Good riddance to that old hag.” Yeri scoffed, handing Mark a beer bottle. “He kept throwing me in detention because he said my skirts were too short.”

                “I thought it was because you were making out with Rocky in the janitor’s closet and he caught you?”

                “Or that one time you told Mrs Shim that she was an old miserable bitch and that was why her husband left her?”

                “It’s a little of everything.” Yeri giggled. “Why are you making me the bad guy? Tzuyu is worse okay, she just looks innocent.”

                “Of course I have to look innocent. If my parents found out what I did I would be sent to a convent in the Swiss Alps.”

                “Mine would send me to military school.”

                “Mine would just disown me.” Jihoon laughed. “Mark, what’s the craziest thing you ever did?”

                “I…don’t think I did anything like that.”

                “Ah, so you were one of those boring kids who did everything right.”

                “Fuck off Dino.” Yeri almost spat at him. “Not everyone is a rebel.”

                “Oh come on now,” Donghyuck was now at Mark’s side, a bottle in his hand. Mark noticed that it was open. “The craziest thing we ever did is what we’re doing right now, this road trip.”

                “Ah…” Yeri and her friends nodded.

                “Did I tell you about the time we trespassed some stranger’s lawn naked?”

                “Holy shit you did not do that.”

                “I’ve got witness statements of my three friends to prove that.” Donghyuck gestured to Mark, Jeno, and Renjun, who was painting next to Chaeyoung.

                “It’s true.” Mark nodded. Jihoon was wildly impressed and even stoic Tzuyu cracked a smile.

                “Now we’re talking.” Woojin gave Donghyuck a fist bump. Yeri smiled as she swapped places with Tzuyu to stand next to Mark, her hand ghosting over his arm.

                “We’re just getting started.”

******************

                “I need weed.”

                “I told you, Lisa is on vacation.” Yeri sighed for the umpteenth time, her body swaying to the music that blaring obnoxiously from Dino’s car. Chaeyoung had completed her painting on the walls, and now Renjun and Jeno were taking turned scribbling things on them. Jihoon’s head was on Tzuyu’s lap, blowing rings of smoke as he and Tzuyu took turns from the same vape.

                “We should have stocked up.” Dino complained, emptying his bottle. “She gives me another 100 grams free if I go down on her.”

                “How is she like?”

                “She moves a lot you know.” Dino smirked. “But then again she’s hot and she’s got weed so I can’t complain.”

                Mark did not say a word. In fact, he did not say more than 2 sentences worth of words since he arrived. Everyone was either vandalising the back of a building, blowing smoke into each other’s faces or getting drunk out of their minds. This was such a huge culture shock for him and he felt a little uneasy. Mark was the classic ‘good student’. He didn’t smoke, drink or do drugs, yet here he was in a circle of people who did.

                And they don’t seem to care that what they were doing was wrong.

                So…maybe it wasn’t wrong at all?

                “You seem bored.”

                “Huh?” Mark snapped out of his daze as Yeri sat next to him atop some empty crates. Her perfume smelled sweet and her silky blonde hair flowed over her shoulder like a beautiful waterfall of sunshine. Her off shoulder top revealed her pale shoulders, while her black leather skirt did wonders for her long slender legs, just accentuated with black ankle boots.

                “You look bored.” Yeri said again, clinking her bottle with his. “Don’t like alcohol?”

                “I don’t drink very often.”

                “I think you mean at all.” Yeri smirked. “This is great. I just took your alcohol virginity.”

                “There’s no such thing.”

                “Sure there is!” Yeri chirped. “Anything is a ‘thing’ if you make it to be.”

                “I guess.”

                “Aren’t you having fun?”

                “To be honest,” Mark sighed. “This isn’t really my crowd. I mean, I’m the kind of guy who stays home to play video games, or play football in the park, but I’ve never done any of this before.”

                “There’s a first time for everything. Besides, your friends are having fun.” Yeri was right. Jeno and Renjun were laughing with Chaeyoung and Joy while Donghyuck and Woojin were chatting, with Woojin’s arm slung over Donghyuck’s shoulder. Donghyuck already finished a bottle and was on his second one. Woojin tugged Donghyuck into his arms, letting the younger man giggle and bury his face into Woojin’s chest.

                “What are they doing?” Mark asked Yeri about the giggling duo.

                “Oh that’s just Woojin being Woojin.” Yeri shrugged. “He gets all giggly and red when he’s drunk.

                “Does he have to be so close to Donghyuck?”    

                “Maybe he likes him.”

                “Huh.” Mark took a swig of his beer, feeling the bitterness of the alcohol wash down his throat. Maybe there is something to this drink that tastes like dead cockroaches. Woojin whispered something into Donghyuck’s ear and now the two of them were almost doubling over with laughter, like they shared some deep, dirty secret only the two of them knew. Mark felt oddly uneasy.

                “You should relax and have fun.” Yeri said, standing up to dance to the music, her hips moving on its own. “You’re only young once.”

                “I suppose…”

                “Oh my god this is my jam!!” Yeri yelped loudly, putting down her beer bottle and screaming in joy. Side to Side by Ariana Grande was blasting through the speakers, and she reached for Tzuyu, almost dropping Jihoon as he was still laying on her lap. She called Chaeyoung and Joy to join her, and soon the 4 girls were dancing away.

                “Work it!!” 4 teenage girls were swaying their hips and dancing sensually to the song, with Chaeyoung twerking her non-existent behind and everyone laughing with her. Normally, Mark would cringe at the sight (because Ariana is _beneath_ him) but on this night he was smiling and laughing as well. The song changed to Closer by the Chainsmokers and now Yeri pulled Mark to join her. Jihoon had his arms around Tzuyu while Dino and Joy were together. Woojin pulled Donghyuck to join the crowd and even Renjun and Jeno couldn’t resist dancing along.

                The beat of the music was electrifying, the alcohol was heating up his insides and Yeri’s perfume flooded his mind. In a certain daze of lost senses, Mark finally understood why some people yearn for this feeling. To be lost and carefree. To be in the moment. To be without worries.

                It felt _fucking_ good.

******************

                By the time Mark woke up the next day, it was almost 2 in the afternoon. If he was back home he would be mortified, and his father would be up in arms, yelling at the teenager and dumping cold water on his bed. Yet, there he was, in a luxurious bedroom overlooking a beautiful garden and the sun shining on his bed through sheer drapes, stretching his body out like a cat.

                He thought about the night before, dancing until his legs gave out, all the painting, drinking, swearing and whatever else he did. There was no sense of regret, only a smile popped up on his face. He did have an amazing time last night.

                “Hyung?”

                “Hyuckie,” Mark yawned as he sat up, beckoning Donghyuck from behind the door. “What time did you get up?”

                “About an hour ago. You?”

                “Just.”

                “Did you have a good time last night?” he asked, climbing onto the bed.

                “I did.” Mark giggled. “It was fun.”

                “I think I fell asleep last night without brushing my teeth.” Donghyuck beamed. “I was so tired but damn it was fun!”

                “My legs feel like jelly now.” Mark said, rubbing his calves. “We don’t say a word of any of this to our parents, got it?”

                “I’m not telling mine anything.” Donghyuck shook his head. “I would rather jump into an active volcano.”

                Mark laughed, shaking his head gently. A soft knock came on the door and Yeri’s head poked through. She was fully dressed in a soft pink summer dress, her blonde hair done in braids. “Good afternoon.”

                “Hey Yeri.”

                “You are such a lightweight.” She teased. “Just one bottle of alcohol and 4 hours past your curfew and you slept until 2.”

                “I must have been more tired than I thought.”

                “Hyuck, Woojin just called, he said he wanted to speak to you.”

                “Okay.” Donghyuck got off the bed and took Yeri’s cell phone. She came into the room, placing herself on Mark’s bed (which is technically hers).

                “Did you have a good time?”

                “I did. Thanks for taking me out. It was a wild night.”

                “If you thought that was wild, wait until you see where we’re going tonight.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to be clear that IN NO WAY am I trying to encourage whatever is portrayed above, but let's be real here we all know somebody who has done stuff like this before. What teenager isn't at least curious about these things?
> 
> P.S I have read all the comments and thank you all for being so supportive!!! I'm so happy you liked it so far and remember to stay tuned for weekly updates! You can subscribe or bookmark to keep track!


	8. Dark Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids try clubbing, and Yeri resorts to drastic measures to win Mark's heart.

_Yeri’s Playlist for The Times I Wonder About Death_

_1-800-273-8255 -Logic ft Alessia Cara & Khalid_

_“I wonder what it feels like to just die.”_

_“Why are you thinking of such thoughts?”_

_“Don’t know. Just curious.”_

_“Yeri if you die, who would I go shopping with?”_

_“Good point.”_

******************

                “Where are we going this time?” Mark asked as he climbed into Jihoon’s Hummer. Tzuyu was sitting in the front seat and she gave him a little wave as she focused on her applying makeup.

                “Dino dug up a brand-new club downtown. He said we should check it out.”

                “Are we old enough to get in?”

                “We are now.” Jihoon handed something over to Mark. “Yeri and I got this made for you and your friends this morning.

                “Holy…” Mark stared at the ID before him. It looked exactly like his old ID that Yeri has asked for earlier, but instead of being born in 1999, he was born in 1995 instead. “How did you…”

                “Don’t ask, it’s complicated.” Jihoon sighed, his hand reaching for Tzuyu’s and giving it a little squeeze. “No need to thank us. Yeri insisted on it.”

                “Uhm…okay.” Club? Clubbing? Now that was something Mark never thought he would be interested in doing. His palms felt sweaty and he  could somehow picture his father’s disappointed face staring back at him.

                It was honestly amazing how they could get away with something like this. Yeri’s servants did not question the princess of the house when she drove off the family Mercedes in a short, sparkly silver dress and beige kitten heels. If any one of the girls in Mark’s old neighbourhood tried this, they would call up her parents immediately and unless she had a good reason she would be grounded until she turned 50.

                Club Seventeen looked like a regular night club (or so Mark assumed because he had never been in one) with two big looking bouncers on each side. Jihoon drove up to the front, handed the keys over to the valet and helped Tzuyu, in her black sheer crop top and tight pastel skirt to alight huge vehicle. They flashed their ID’s and the bouncers just gave them a nod. Either the ID’s were too good or they looked like 20-something heirs on substance abuse and at that point, Mark couldn’t decide which was worse.

                “We’re with Dino.” Jihoon told the waitress, who simply nodded and brought them in. Dino had arrived early, snapping photos of their exclusive booth, and even he was dressed to the nines. Mark could have mistaken him for someone older, but his boyish smile was what gave his age away.

                “Jihoon! Looking fine as ever! Tzuyu, looking gorgeous! And Mark…” Dino scanned Mark up and down, taking in his striped shirt, jeans and black leather jacket. “Is that the best you can do?”

                “Those are the only clothing that would fit him.” Jihoon shook his head. “He’s too tall for my clothes.”

                “I think he looks handsome.” Yeri grinned playfully as she came from behind them. She draped her arm across Mark’s shoulder, her little black LV bag slung across her shoulder lazily as she leaned against him.

                “You guys actually look cute together.” Chaeyoung gushed, stretching her leather-pants clad legs and adjusting her lace top. Joy was the only one in a red strapless dress with heels to match. She usually looked more demure and feminine, but maybe because it was club night she had on smokey makeup and deep red lipstick.

                “Make way for me. King coming through.” Woojin pushed them aside like he was a superstar. His leather jacket glistened under the light and he had a pair of sunglasses on. “Don’t I look fabulous?”

                “You are late.” Joy rolled her eyes, taking the glasses off his head. “Why would you even wear these inside, it’s so dark.”

                “There are sacrifices we must make to look cool okay?”

                “Enough with the chit chat.” Dino said. “Order your drinks guys. It’s time to start the party.”

******************

                “You’re a good dancer Mark.”

                “I am?” Mark had to scream back over the loud music. His body was just moving automatically to the beat as he, Yeri and Joy danced together. Renjun, Jeno, Dino and Chaeyoung were holding hands in a circle and dancing similarly to the hokey-pokey while everyone else were paired off. Jihoon and Tzuyu of course as well as Donghyuck and Woojin.

                “Yeah, did you take lessons?”

                “No, but I learn music, so maybe that’s where that came from.”

                “Woojin and Donghyuck are dancing awfully close to each other.” Mark turned around to see what Joy was talking about. Woojin and Donghyuck were smiling at each other, each bragging to the other about being the sexier dancer. Donghyuck was dressed in red leather pants and a black top, hips trying to either bump or brush against Woojin’s. Woojin seemed awfully enamoured by Donghyuck, and responded by pulling their hips closer together.

                “Hyuck…”

                “It’s fine. They were just dancing.”

                “I…”

                “Shit shit shit shit everybody run!!” Dino suddenly scrambled over from where he was and pushed them. “The cops are here on a raid!”

                Suddenly, it was as if a bomb exploded. Everyone took off at lightning speed, running away from their booth and out the back door of the club. They ran towards the club’s parking lot and in a frantic mess, they tried to find their own cars. Jihoon’s Hummer was easy to spot and he, alongside Tzuyu, Mark, Jeno and Renjun were the first ones to leave the scene. Yeri’s car followed swiftly and then came Dino’s.

                “What just happened?!” Mark panted.

                “A police raid.” Jihoon sniffed. “They usually come looking for drugs or illegal sex workers. If they caught us we would be dead.”

                “Oh god, I can’t believe we almost got arrested.” Renjun was breathing hard, one hand over his heart, adrenaline still very much pumping in his veins. “Oh thank god…”

                “Can we do that again?”

                “JENO!!”

                “I like you.” Jihoon laughed, giving Jeno a little fist bump. Mark had scoffed at the idea, but even he couldn’t stop his own heart from pounding, still feeling the tingle of adrenaline at his fingertips.

******************

                “How could you still be carrying that bottle of beer?” Mark asked Yeri in shock when they arrived home much earlier than the night before. Yeri was adjusting her dress and sipping from her bottle, like a baby drinking milk.

                “I am not known to leave alcohol behind, even if the world just happened to set on fire.” She laughed. “Man, this night is a dud. Thanks to those cops we didn’t even get to the good part.”

                “What’s the good part?”

                “Usually we get so drunk we either slump out on the couch until someone gets us up, or we start making out with each other.” She giggled. “The latter happens more often.”

                “Oh.” Mark didn’t know what to say except stand there and nod. He tried to imagine a drunk Yeri, kissing a stranger madly with her fingers in his or her hair. He shook his head off to try and erase that image.

                “My beer isn’t finished though.” She said. “Come join me.”

                “Where’s Donghyuck?”

                “Woojin asked him to hang out with him a little longer.” Yeri said, pulling on Mark’s sleeve. “Relax, I asked him to bring him back before 2am.”

                Yeri dragged him to the pool, where they both dipped their legs in the water, Yeri finishing her bottle and she kept nudging Mark to help her too. To be honest Mark was not a fan of alcohol so he only took a few sips to make her happy. If he started getting as drunk as Yeri they would be completely uncontrollable, and drunk kids by a pool is a safety hazard.

                “Do you go clubbing a lot?”

                “Sometimes.” Yeri shrugged. “I do it more when my dad is out of town.”

                “What about your mum?”

                “Don’t have one. Left me when I was 10 years old.”

                “I’m sorry.”

                “Don’t be. The witch cheated on my father.”

                “Don’t say that about her. She is still your mother.”

                “All she did was push me out of her womb. I didn’t ask to be born and I didn’t ask her for a mother. I hate it when people tell me that.” Yeri spat out. “ _Be nice to her, she is your mother_. Is she really? Mothers are supposed to care for their young and always be there for them. Did you know that I learnt about periods through the housemaid? When I got my first period I was so scared I locked myself in my room for days because I thought I was dying.”

                “So you don’t talk to her?”

                “No.” Yeri shook her head. “And it’s better that way.”

                “Okay.” Mark sighed. “I can understand. Not having a mother, that is. I don’t have one either.”

                “You know what I don’t get,” Yeri slurred a little, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “I don’t understand why adults say ‘tell us what’s on your mind’ and then say ‘you don’t know enough to say something like that’. I don’t get it. Why would you ask our opinion if you think we aren’t mature enough to give you the answer you _want_ to hear?”

                “Well…”

                “I don’t get why they say we have to decide who we want to be now. As if what we do in college will shape us until our dying days. What if I don’t know what I want to do? What if I just want to drift along in life? What if I don’t have a specific purpose yet? Will you abandon me if I don’t know my way yet? Are you afraid I will disappoint you?”

                Mark gulped a little. Yeri was slurring even more, her head shaking erractically.

                “Yeri, are you okay?”

                “I want to know what it’s like to die.” Yeri said, pointing towards the pool. “If I hold my breath and jump, will I die?”

                “Yeri, don’t…”

                “I won’t do it of course.” She chuckled. “But maybe if you hold my hand, we can find out.”

                “Yeri, that’s enough.” Mark pried the bottle out of her hands. She tried to get out of his grasp, but her fingers were weak in comparison with his and she let the bottle go, watching the bottle drop into the pool, and Mark heaving a huge sigh.

                “You’re going to need to clean this.” Mark dropped down into the pool, waist deep, and dipped down to reach the bottle. He placed the bottle as far from her as possible while climbing back up and pulling her up to her feet.

                “Let’s go back to your room.”

                “Do you know how to swim?”

                “Yes.”

                “Let’s go for a swim!!”

                “Yeri, no!” Mark pulled her back. “We are not swimming with you intoxicated like this.”

                “We’ll be fine. You,” Yeri half fell into Mark’s arms, her hands wrapped around Mark’s neck. “You’ll be there to protect me.”

                “Yeri…”

                “You’re such a good guy Mark.” She mumbled, her face burying in the crook of his neck. “I trust you. You won’t abandon me.”

                “Which is exactly why we are not swimming.”

                “Come on Markie don’t be a party pooper…”

                “No Yeri,” he tried dragging her but Yeri’s legs felt like body builder weights. She was practically slumping against him, and all of a sudden she pried him off and jumped into the pool.

                “YERI!!!!”

                “MARK!!!” she half screamed as the cold water hit her skin. She was waving her hands wildly in the water, trying to gasp for air even if the water wasn’t deep. Mark didn’t waste time in jumping in and swimming towards her, grabbing her waist and with every ounce of his energy, he threw her over his shoulder and carried her out of the water.

                “You are insane!” He panted, carrying Yeri like she was a rag doll out of the water. She became terribly heavy once they were out of the water, their cold bodies sticking to each other uncomfortably.

                “Help!”

                “Miss?” one of the maids hurried over, clearly shocked at what happened as she grabbed a towel from a nearby cabinet.

                “Can you take her to her room?” he placed Yeri on the floor, she was shivering wildly but she had this insanely stupid smile on her face. Mark had to resist the urge to lose his temper and scream at her. How could she do this? What kind of crazy…

                “You are drunk.” He told Yeri. “They are going to put you to sleep.”

                “I knew you would save me.” Yeri grinned, looking at Mark through hooded eyes. “You wouldn’t leave me.”

                Mark didn’t know what to say. He just grabbed a towel for himself and stormed back to his room.

******************

                By the time Mark crawled into bed it was already 3am. He was tired from the night’s activities. First they went dancing, then they ran and then he took a dip in freezing cold water. He didn’t even do this much during the _day_.

                Mark fell asleep quickly, his eyelids were extremely heavy and his body limp with exhaustion. Almost half an hour later, Mark felt the bed dip on the other side, with a thick scent of perfume.

                Hang on…that perfume…

                “What the…” Mark opened his eyes and reached for his bedside lamp. He nearly fell off the bed when he saw Yeri laying next to him, dressed in a long white shirt and shorts.

                “Yeri what the fuck…”

                “It’s so lonely in my bed.”

                “Yeri, go back to your own room. You need to sleep.”

                “Sleep with me.”

                “I…” the cat got Mark’s tongue and he was at a loss of words. “Yeri you can’t be…”

                Yeri grabbed Mark’s face and kissed him, her cold lips upon his, softly moving and melding with his. Mark was confused, it really took him a minute to register what was happening and by the time he realized she was kissing him, Yeri pulled away, her hands reaching for his neck.

                “Yeri…Yeri…”

                “You have such pretty lips.” She drawled, pulling him closer and attempting to crawl on to his lap to straddle him. Mark placed his hands on her hips not to pull her close, but to stop her from coming any closer.

                “Yeri, no.”

                “Come on…”

                “No, no, I am not doing this.” He tried to push her off. “I am not doing this.”

                “Markie…”

                “Let go of me!” he snapped, pushing her off him and she fell limply against the bed. For a split second, Mark was worried he had hurt her and was ready to apologize, then she lifted her head and smiled. That smile sent shivers down his back, but not in a good way.

                “I knew this would happen.”

                “What?”

                “You’re too nice Mark. Too nice.” She cackled, running her fingers all over his bedsheet, like a cat clawing at it. “You won’t do anything to hurt me, even if I ask for it.”

                “Yeri I…”

                “Why, why won’t you do it?!” she screamed at him, grabbing his face and forcing him to look at her. There were tears in her eyes, her cheeks were red and her hair was a mess, sticking to her lips as her other hand was placed over her chest.

                “Why won’t you kiss me? Why won’t you hold me? Why won’t you be close to me?”

                “I…”

                “Is it because I’m ugly? Am I a bitch for running into your van? Is that what it is? Or who is it? Joy? Chaeyoung? Tzuyu?!”

                “Yeri, stop!” Mark pulled her hand off. “You have to stop acting like this!”

                “I want you Mark.” Yeri breathed, pushing his legs down and climbing onto his lap like a cat. At this point Mark was almost too exhausted to fight, and Yeri was too heavy to push off. “I have never wanted someone like this before.”

                “Yeri please…” Mark grabbed her hands. “Don’t do something you will regret.”

                “Why? You won’t hurt me.” She said, pulling his hands to her chest. She slipped his hands under her shirt, and Mark gasped at the feeling of her bare skin on his.

                “No, I’m not doing this…”

                “Don’t worry, I can do it all.” She popped open her buttons one by one, and to Mark’s shock, the material slid off her shoulders, revealing her bare chest.

                “No, no…”

                Yeri was still in the midst of stripping when Mark’s door suddenly flung open, revealing a very red-faced Donghyuck watching a naked teenage girl sitting on top of his hyung.

                “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

                “Hyuck!!” with quick moves, Mark flipped the blanket underneath them to cover Yeri’s exposed chest, and wrapped her up like a sushi roll. “It’s not what you think.”

                “You don’t need to explain to me. You’re entitled to fuck whoever you want.” Donghyuck shook his head. “Just keep it down. I need sleep.” And with that the door slammed shut.

                “We’re getting you out of here.”

                “Mark…”

                “Out of here. Now.” He grabbed her by the shoulders, all covered in his blanket and he opened the door. He pushed her out and escorted her all the way to her room.

                “You need sleep Yeri.” Mark groaned. “I am sick of this. I am not sleeping with you, I am not having sex with you and I am not kissing you.”

                “I can’t believe you.” She scoffed. “A girl willingly strips herself in front of you and you won’t take the advantage.”

                “If you are looking for someone who would fuck a drunk girl without consent then I am sorry but I am not the guy you are looking for.” He snapped at her.

                “But why?!?!?!” Yeri cried. “Am I not pretty enough? Not smart enough? Not good enough?!”

                “Because…”

                “Because what?”

                “Because you don’t deserve this!” Mark ruffled his hair in frustration. “I don’t get it. You shouldn’t have to prove that you are beautiful, or smart or whatever by taking your fucking clothes off! You deserve more respect than that!”

                Yeri’s eyes were brimming with tears. She bit her lip and slammed the door in his face.

               

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is quite a challenging chapter to write because I know the kids I am writing about are not legal yet, but you can't write young adult without at least mentioning sex. I just want to make clear that I have ZERO INTENTION in sexualizing minors or portraying them in a sexual manner because that is obviously disgusting and illegal, so instead I tried to focus on the dynamics of Yeri and Mark's relationship and her obsession with Mark rather than the physical side of what it is. I don't want to make her into this crazed, hormonal, horny teenage girl so I'm trying to balance it out by showing other sides of her because she is complicated character, and let's be honest here these kids are teenagers. They are growing adults and there is no teenager that I know of that isn't at least curious about sex or have thought about it before.
> 
> By the way, I know some of you may feel disappointed about the lack of markhyuck, but trust me there will be more of them in the next chapter. This is a development chapter for them.
> 
> This chapter is also important (and close to my heart) because Mark's reactions will have an impact on his relationship with Yeri and Yeri's growth as a character. I could have very easily made him to be the jerk we all know in high school but I didn't, and I won't because CONSENT IS IMPORTANT. To all my beautiful readers out there, if you are in Mark's position, SAY NO. If you are in Yeri's position, and your significant other or the other person does not act like Mark, RUN AWAY or file a police report. This may constitute as rape as when you are intoxicated, you cannot give or have consent as alcohol may have impaired your judgement. You can check this link for more information: http://everydayfeminism.com/2016/05/alcohol-and-consent-questions/
> 
> Thank you for reading and stay safe guys!


	9. As if Things Couldn't Get Any Worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Donghyuck get into a fight, which causes Mark to reconsider everything he thought he knew about his best friend. Meanwhile, Donghyuck has to choose between the guy he loves and the guy who loves him.

_Donghyuck’s Playlist for Broken Hearts and Broken Dreams_

_Ending Scene-IU_

_“I’m sorry.”_

******************

                “You finish fast.”

                “Donghyuck, it’s not what you think.” Mark sighed. He came down to get a glass of water (even if the butler could do it, he went there anyways because suddenly, sleeping was the last thing on his mind). It was 4am, and his head hurt like hell. Donghyuck just so happen to come down to the kitchen for water as well, and the two teenagers finally met after their incredibly awkward encounter featuring a topless heiress.

                “Don’t be ashamed. Jaehyun said that there is no shame in finishing too quickly. It gives you an excuse for a second round.”

                “Will you shut up and listen to me?” Mark snapped, almost slamming his cup on the counter. “Why are people thinking that Yeri and I have something going on?”

                “Because even a blind man in Venezuela can see that she is interested in you, and you seem to respond to her touches.”

                “What the hell are you talking about?”

                “Think about it, you spent all night with her, dancing in the club. She was practically grinding on you and you didn’t stop her. She got you to drink with her and you even saved her life.”

                “How did you know that?”

                “My room is right above the servant’s lounge. They talk really loudly when Stephen Colbert is on.” Donghyuck held his glass to his lips.

                “Nothing happened between Yeri and I.” Mark said. “She kissed me, and tried to get me to sleep with her, but I said no.”

                “Really?” Donghyuck raised an eyebrow. “Woojin said the guys usually don’t say no.”

                “And where have you been all night?”

                “I was with Woojin.”

                “Do you two have something going on?”

                “Does it matter?”

                “Uhm, yes. He’s a senior and you are a junior.”

                “So?” Donghyuck spat out. “It’s not like he’s a 40-something casino owner with business in Mexico.”

                “I’ve seen the way he looks at you.” Mark folded his arms.

                “Look at the pot calling the kettle black.” Donghyuck’s eyes narrowed into angry slits. “You can see Woojin but you can’t see how Yeri is trying to get in your pants?”

                “Hyuck, if anything happens to you, you’re going to be in trouble.”

                “I can’t decide if I’m flattered that you finally care about me, or insulted that you think I would be this stupid to get into trouble.”

                “Did he say anything to you?”

                “Why should you care?”

                “Hyuck you’re my friend.”

                “Friend?!” Donghyuck slammed his glass on the table. “Now you want to use that word? Since when have you ever cared about me as a friend? Every time it’s always ‘where’s Jaehyun hyung?’ ‘Is he back in college?’ ‘Is he coming back for the weekend?’. When have you ever stopped to ask about me? It’s always about this stupid crush you have on my fucking perfect brother!!”

                “I have always asked about you! Donghyuck, we grew up together, I do care for you! That’s why I am concerned that you may be with this fuckboy who looks at you like you are a piece of meat!”

                “Woojin is not a fuckboy!!” Donghyuck practically screamed. “We are just friends!”

                “You liar.” Mark walked over to Donghyuck and pulled his shirt down, revealing a reddish spot near his collarbone. Donghyuck pulled back his shirt defensively.

                “Stop that.”

                “You can call me a prude but I know what a fucking hickey looks like.” Mark growled, letting go off the shirt almost too forcefully. “He kissed you.”

                “So what if he did? What’s it to you?”

                “Just…” Mark clenched his fist, he couldn’t even put into words why he was so angry. He just didn’t like Woojin and Donghyuck together. He just couldn’t. The thought of the two of them together made his blood boil. He couldn’t explain why, _he just didn’t like it._

                “If you can’t find something wrong with it then stay out of it.” Donghyuck said. “Woojin has been nothing but kind and sweet to me. I am so sick of waiting for you to notice me when I can easily find someone who does!” he stormed out of the kitchen, tears forming at the sides of his eyes. Mark was going to catch him until he realized something.

                _Notice me?_

_Did he…does he…_

******************

                I should probably explain what happened between Woojin and Donghyuck. Too be honest I didn’t really plan out their story at all. Things kind of happen between them. They always say that I call the shots but I don’t have total control over everything. Somethings happen by themselves, like nuclear fission or natural disasters.

                I suppose what happened between them was a side effect of Yeri and Mark’s story, and I was too watching them to notice what happened on the side. By the time I did, Woojin and Donghyuck had gotten closer than expected.

                You see, there is one thing Yeri and Donghyuck had in common. Remember how Yeri kept asking Mark why he didn’t want to sleep with her? Whether she was ugly? Or not pretty enough? Why do you think that is? Teenage girls her age have very fragile egos. They are at the age when they realize everything adults tell you as a child was a lie, and reality is harsher than the fairytale fantasies you grow up with. When they tell you “you look perfectly fine” they actually mean “you could be better”. They grow up being told or shown that a certain look was considered beautiful. Thin. Ample bust. Flat stomach. Thigh gaps. Blonde hair. Adults lie and say ‘we love you just the way you are’ to stop you from killing yourself. The same unhealthy standard applies to males.

                Donghyuck spent his whole life being compared to his elder brother. The one who is taller. Fitter. With baby like skin. The one who gets good grades without struggling. The one with the dimples and pretty eyes. The one with the deep voice that can calm the ocean and charm the birds from the trees. The one who is so popular in high school that girls fought for the right to give him Valentine’s Day cards. The one who just has to show up and the whole room lights up.

                If Jaehyun took everything good, then Donghyuck must have gotten the leftovers. He was not as tall as Jaehyun, he had darker skin, his voice was on a slightly higher pitch and almost husky. He struggled with acne (and still is) and he can’t seem to even score more than a B- for most of his classes. He wasn’t athletic enough, he wasn’t skinny enough and he wasn’t popular enough. To live in the shadows of your perfect brother that everybody fawned over and even your long-time crush was in love with. Imagine how that felt like.

                Donghyuck was certain he would never be as good as his elder brother, and that he would always be second best, or the best-worst option. To make up for his short-comings, he used his mouth. That loud, cranky, dirty and savage mouth to attract attention, and it definitely worked of course. Donghyuck became known for his savage comments, playful attitude and loud voice, but he was never known as ‘that guy I want to bring to the senior prom’.

                Then came Woojin. He was pretty handsome himself, with dark red highlights in his hair, a cheeky smile and naughty eyes that added to his playboy-ish charm. Donghyuck didn’t exactly have the best impression of him when they first met, but things changed when he started talking to him.

                Woojin flirted openly with Donghyuck. He tried calling him ‘sweetie’, ‘hot stuff’, and even ‘gorgeous’. All of those were words Donghyuck have heard people call his brother, not him. Woojin slung his arm around Donghyuck’s shoulder all the time, his teasing fingers rubbing his arm and his smile always directed at him.

                While Yeri and Mark were together most of the night, Donghyuck decided to let Woojin talk to him. Why not? After all he was a nice guy, a little cheeky but what the hell so was Donghyuck himself anyways, and he seemed genuinely interested in Donghyuck. Why waste your time with someone who was out of your league?

                After the club, Woojin bought Donghyuck home and they spent hours talking about all sorts, from favourite movies, to music, to the weather, to aliens from outer space. Woojin was absolutely fascinated with him, looking at him with amusement and joy in his eyes as Donghyuck rambled on about whatever he wanted.

                “Quit looking at me like that.”

                “Why should I?” Woojin teased. “Your lips look so cute when they move.”

                “You’re like a pervert.” Donghyuck blushed. His face felt hot and his heart pounded wildly.

                “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

                “I was just kidding.” Donghyuck laughed. “It’s nice.”

                “Me being a pervert?”

                “No, having someone interested in me.”

                “Who wouldn’t be interested in you?” Woojin asked in surprise. “You are the coolest person I have met in a long time. I feel like I’ve known you my whole life.”

                “It’s complicated.”

                “You like someone.”

                “He wouldn’t notice me.”

                “It’s his fucking loss.” Woojin edged closer, putting his arms around Donghyuck. “He must be blind.” Woojin started stroking Donghyuck’s hair, pulling their faces together, and their eyes fluttered close as their lips met for the first time.

                It was messy, and a little painful as they clashed teeth. Woojin’s fingers were wrapped around Donghyuck’s as his lips moved from to his jawline, nibbling and sucking gently. Donghyuck gasped at the sensation. He made out before, but not like this. To be on the receiving end of something so strong, so passionate, was absolutely breath-taking. It was as if Woojin wanted him. Not just want, like you want a toy from a shelf, but actually _desire_ for, like you needed it, like a fish needing air. Woojin held Donghyuck like he was going to disappear into thin air, his lips kissing Donghyuck’s flesh tenderly, as if he was the most beautiful piece of china.

                For once Donghyuck felt beautiful, desirable, handsome. He felt _wanted_.

                “M…Mark…”

                _Fuck._

                Woojin didn’t hear a word of it but he knew something was wrong when Donghyuck stiffened, realizing what he just said. “Hyuck?”

                “I…I…”

                “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

                “I need to go.” Donghyuck said. “Can you take me home?”

                Of course he did. Woojin would do anything Donghyuck said. They parted ways and Woojin tried to apologize for what he did but Donghyuck said it wasn’t his fault. He wanted to find someone to talk to. He wanted to find Mark.

                And when he did, you know what he saw.

                I don’t necessarily plan heartbreaks, but when they do happen, they hurt like hell.

******************

                “You look like shit this morning.”

                “Shut up Jeno. I haven’t had more than two hours of sleep last night.”

                “What happened?”

                “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

******************

                “You did not.”

                “I’m not lying to you Renjun. I saw Yeri in his bed, her breasts hanging out like two sandbags.”

                “Did they have sex?”

                “Mark said they didn’t.”

******************

                “Okay I knew Yeri was into you but I didn’t think she would have the balls to do something like that.” Jeno crossed his arms over the dinner table. “A girl like that could get herself a bad reputation.”

                “What’s worse is Donghyuck caught us.”

                “Oh fuck.”

******************

                “Do you like Woojin?” Renjun asked Donghyuck, legs crossed on his bed.

                “He’s a great guy, and not a bad kisser.” Donghyuck sighed. “I just can’t believe I did it. I can’t believe I called him Mark.”

                “You really should tell Mark how you feel.”

                “Why? I already know the answer.”

******************

                “It’s his business you know. You really don’t have to butt your way into this.”

                “Jeno, if something happens to Donghyuck I would never forgive myself.”

                “Why? That he is interested in sex? He’s 17 years old, a growing teenage boy. He’s entitled to feel however he wants about his body.”

                “I just don’t like Woojin. He gives me the creeps. He reminds me of those playboys who fuck and dump.”

******************

                “Maybe he’s jealous.”

                “Of who?”

                “Woojin.” Renjun shrugged.

                “Quit sticking your head in Jeno’s ass.”

******************

                “You are jealous.”

                “Of who?”

                “Woojin.”

                “Don’t be ridiculous.” Mark sipped his coffee.

******************

                “I just don’t know what to feel.” Donghyuck confessed. “Woojin is so sweet, and he’s the first guy to show interest in me. Do you know how that feels? To find someone who really likes you?”

                “I understand.”

                “And then I come home to find something like this and it pains me. I get so angry and hurt and all I want to do right now is just scream. I’m so confused. What should I be doing?”

                “I don’t think I can help you with that.” Renjun offered a sympathetic smile. “I just think you need to be honest with yourself. With Woojin. With Mark. We all want to believe a reality that seems more probable or beautiful, but matters of the heart are not like that. They are like the sun: you can try to blanket them with clouds, but one day, the sun will still poke through.”

******************

                “You seriously don’t see Donghyuck as anything more than friends?”

                “I don’t.”

                “Okay,” Jeno shrugged. “Let’s see you think that when Donghyuck goes to Woojin at the end of the day.”

******************

                Yeri locked herself in her room all day. She refused to see anyone and it might as well be that way, because Mark was frankly too mortified to see her. He didn’t want to talk to her at all, not yet at least. In fact, at this point in time, he would love nothing more than to go home. Suddenly he missed his father and Johnny so very much.

                The only thing keeping him was that postcard of Scarwood Palace. A childhood longing and fantasy of a place where everything can be solved, where he can finally answer the questions he had in his heart for years. He tucked that postcard under his pillow and tried to go to sleep that night.

                “Mark?”

                “Hmmphm?” Mark turned on his side to find Donghyuck, standing at the door.

                “Hyuck?”

                “Uhm…it’s late and uhm…” Donghyuck shuffled his feet. “It’s empty in my room.”

                “Come in.” Mark scooted over, letting Donghyuck climb onto his bed. A moment of silence passed between them in the dark, the faint light from outdoors carefully painting the room like an artist laying a gentle layer of acrylic.

                “I’m sorry.”

                “I’m sorry too.” Donghyuck sniffled.

                “We’re just tired.”

                “Yeah, and frustrated.”

                “I can’t wait to get on the road for some reason.”

                “Me too.” Donghyuck smiled. “For some reason Mother Nature is easier to understand than the heart.”

                Mark laughed softly. “Good night.”

                “Good night.”

                Mark watched Donghyuck’s peaceful face in the dark, noticing the small wheezing noises he made as he slept. In that moment, he realized something that has taken him almost a decade to notice.

                Donghyuck is beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the turning point in markhyuck's relationship. The first of many that is XD There will be more to come!


	10. Bonus : My Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong and Johnny decides what to get Mark for his birthday, and learns to deal with a painful reality they should have seen coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because it's mark's birthday and I am so soft and emo for my son.

_Taeyong’s Playlist for Parenting Woes_

_Hourglass-Mindy Gledhill_

_“Why hasn’t that boy called?”_

_“It’s 2am Taeyong. He’s asleep.”_

_“Maybe.”_

_“Good. Now you go to sleep too.”_

_“You think he would have the decency to call his parents before he slept.”_

_“Go to sleep Taeyong. I’m begging you.”_

_“But he…”_

_“Do you want me to tickle you again?”_

_“No.”_

_“Then sleep. He’ll call tomorrow. I know it.”_

**********************

                “You want to get him a car?”

                “Why? Is that too big of a gift?” Johnny asked, flipping through the newspapers as they shared their morning coffee. Mark’s 18th birthday was coming up soon, and while he would be back by then to celebrate, Taeyong and Johnny were already preparing a special surprise for their only child.

                “No, I was actually thinking the same thing.” Taeyong poured himself some more coffee. “Something practical. We can’t get him a sports car or anything.”

                “I don’t think he wants one.” Johnny laughed. “Mark gets all squeamish when even a motorcycle speeds by him on the road.”

                “He used to cry because of the noise.” Taeyong laughed, remembering how baby Mark screamed and cried in his arms because the sound of a motorcycle engine terrified him. He fondled the cup lovingly, eyes looking down.

                “Are you okay?”

                “Yeah, I’m fine.” Taeyong lied. Johnny noticed the shift in his husband’s eyes, but he knew better than to press on the matter.

**********************

                “Do you want milk or yoghurt?”

                “Both.” Taeyong smiled, pushing the trolley as they filled it with their weekly groceries. There was a baby in the next cart, his mother carefully picking out cheeses. The baby had round cheeks, wide eyes, and his thumb stuck in his mouth, gurgling random noises. Taeyong looked at the baby and smiled, the baby just stared at him with his signature wide eyes.

                “Look, Johnny.” Taeyong pulled his husband’s arm. “Isn’t he adorable?”

                “He is.” Johnny grinned. “Hey little cutie.”

                “Reminds me of Mark when he was born.” Taeyong sighed. “Mark had bigger eyes.”

                The baby took his thumb out of his mouth, and his eyes were suddenly spilling over with tears. A sob tore out of the baby’s mouth and Taeyong grabbed Johnny’s arm.

                “Let’s get out of here.”

**********************

                “I am going to kill that boy.” Taeyong checked his phone for the millionth time that night. “Why isn’t he calling?”

                “He already said he was driving at night. You don’t expect him to call you while he’s driving do you?” Johnny sighed, laying his head down on the pillow, yawning and battling sleep that was threatening to come to him.

                “He could take a 5-minute break and call his parents. Is that so hard?”

                “He messaged you an hour ago saying that he is fine, and he will be.” Johnny pulled Taeyong down, grabbing the phone and putting it aside. “Just go to sleep and maybe he will message us in the morning.”

                “Fine.” Taeyong shut the lights off and pulled the covers over his body. Johnny yawned deeply. Finally, it was time to get some sleep.

                “We should come up with a list.”

                “What list?”

                “A list of stuff to buy before Mark goes to college.”

                “Uh huh.”

                “We should also check his dorm beforehand.”

                “Uh huh.”

                “We should…”

                “Tae,” Johnny sighed. “What happened to going to sleep?”

                “I’m just thinking.”

                “We can think tomorrow babe. Go to sleep.”

                “I’m just worried. He is our baby after all…”

                “But he’s not.” Johnny turned. “He’s not a baby.”

                A pregnant silence fell over the room. Johnny felt Taeyong shift in his position and a few more shuffles in place. He knew it. He knew Taeyong was upset.

                “Tae…”

                “Shut up.”

                “Babe…” Johnny sat up, clicking on the lights. “Come on now…”

                “Go to sleep Johnny.”

                “You know, when we married, we promised we would never go to sleep angry at each other.” Johnny said. “For 16 years, I have been able to keep that promise. Don’t make me tarnish my record.”

                “Leave me alone.”

                “Come on babe.” Johnny was much stronger than Taeyong, and he turned Taeyong over, pulling him in his arms. “I know you have been acting strange lately. It’s time to talk.”

                “You wouldn’t get it.”

                “Wouldn’t get it? I’ve been married to you and in this household for more than a decade and I was with you through that nasty decision of yours to keep a collection of garden gnomes in the backyard.” Johnny chuckled.

                “This is not about garden gnomes anymore.”

                “It’s about Mark, isn’t it?”

                “He’s my baby.”

                “Yes but in case you are forgetting, he’s my baby too.”

                “Yes but Johnny you weren’t there when he was born. You weren’t there to see this beautiful baby boy come out from your wife. You weren’t there for his first steps, his first word, all the disturbed nights because he couldn’t stop crying.” Taeyong mumbled into Johnny’s chest.

                “Tae…”

                “When his mother died I became so scared. Mark was the only thing I had with her, and if I lost him, I would lose everything. I didn’t think I could do it. I didn’t think I could raise him.”

                “So you married me for my child caring expertise?”

                “Johnny I didn’t…”

                “I know babe, I was just teasing you.” Johnny laughed, rubbing Taeyong’s head lovingly.

                “My baby is growing up.” Taeyong started shedding small tears, wetting Johnny’s shirt. “I remembered the time he was just a baby, he crawled everywhere in the house and tried to climb the furniture. All the birthday parties and sports meetings, when he dropped his first tooth and asked to see the tooth fairy. Christmas mornings, begging to stay up for New Year’s eve countdowns.”

                “I know baby…I know…”

                “I’ve been a parent all my life. What am I going to do when he grows up? What is left of me?”

                “We’re never going to stop being parents.” Johnny said. “He’s my son too. I love and care for him as if he is my own. Trust me, I do know how you feel.”

                “No more kisses and cuddles, no more…”

                “If it’ll make you feel any better I still like kisses and cuddles.” Johnny laughed as Taeyong slapped his arm. “I can be your baby.”

                “You’re an even bigger baby than Mark sometimes.”

                “At this point I will take it as a compliment.” Johnny rocked Taeyong in his arms. Right now, Taeyong _is_ the baby.

                “Mark will always be our son, and we will always be his parents. Parental instincts never stop. Your child could be 65 years old with 3 grand-children and we will still nag them about leaving their shoes a mess or not cleaning up after themselves. Just because he is getting older doesn’t mean he stops being our child.”

                “I’m going to miss the moments when you feel needed.” Taeyong wiped his tears. “Remember when you used to feel needed? When Mark fell down and needed a bandage. When he was sick and needed someone to take care of him. When he was sad or crying and he asked for comfort. When he had nightmares and asked to sleep between us. He won’t need us anymore. He’s turning into a responsible adult. Maybe…maybe…”

                “Maybe we’ll be the ones needing him.”

                Johnny kissed the top of Taeyong’s head, his own eyes feeling the sting of tears as Taeyong wept in his arms. “Maybe…” he sniffed. “Maybe we always have.”

                Many months later, when Mark turned 18, his parents would surprise him with a new car, one that would get him so excited to show off to all his friends. “Finally, I am free!!” he would yell.

                Mark’s parents would squeeze each other’s hands a little tighter, as their baby caterpillar blossomed into a butterfly, ready to spread his wings and fly. His new car would have a sticker on it, with his parents beautiful handwriting, it would read:

_Happy 18 th birthday Mark Lee._

_We love you._

_Always._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would highly recommend you to listen to the song Hourglass while reading this story. That song was my inspiration for this piece. I usually update on Thursdays and there will be one tomorrow, but since this story was based on the fact that Mark would be turning 18 soon, how could I just leave his birthday behind and not do something special XD To all those mama Mark stans, this is for you ^^


	11. To Say Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The van is fixed, and they prepare to say goodbye.

_Yeri’s Playlist for I Think I Should Be Alive_

_Leave Out All The Rest-Linkin Park_

_“Hello, this is the National Suicide Hotline. How may I help?”_

_“Hi. Uhm…I would like to live.”_

******************

                There was probably no better news at that point than the van getting fixed and ready to be on the road. Jeno broke the news with an excited smile over breakfast, sans Yeri of course.

                “I’m glad we’re getting out of here.” Renjun confessed over breaking his toast. “I just don’t think Yeri’s crowd is for me.”

                “Me too.” Mark agreed. “All this partying and drinking, flashing their money around…”

                “I don’t mind the money bit.” Donghyuck chuckled. “These kids don’t seem to care or have any worries. They have their whole life set up for them so perfectly you can’t imagine anything going wrong. They don’t make bad moves or decisions because they have a dozen safety nets to save them.”

                “I wouldn’t trade my life for theirs.” Jeno shook his head. “So we’re the normal kids with curfews, video games and detention. There’s nothing wrong with normalcy.”

                “Yeah, but doesn’t it make you feel sad? What if you look back on your youth and realized you haven’t done anything worthy of laughing over?”

                “I have this road trip.” Jeno smirked. “We slept under the stars, ate baked beans for 2 meals, showered in somebody’s lawn and cooked by the beach. If anything we are the crazy ones.”

******************

                Mark was pretty sure Yeri was not going to answer the knock on her door, and he was right about that. He knocked 5 times, calling her name and she still refused to answer.

                “Yeri, I’m leaving today.” He said, rapping his knuckles on the door one last time. “Listen, I’m sorry about what I did. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, and I don’t want to leave without apologizing.”

                There was no answer. Mark turned to leave, despondent that he couldn’t patch things up with her. Then, the door opened and Yeri appeared, dressed casually with her messy hair tied up in a bun.

                “Come in.”

                “Yeri, I…”

                “I heard.” Yeri said, crossing her arms. Her room was spacious and pastel, suitable for a young girl her age. Pictures of her friends were up on her wall, one of them was a middle aged man with his arms around her lovingly, and the photo was titled “Daddy and me”.

                “Are you…okay?”

                “I guess. My ego is bruised but what the hell.” Yeri shrugged. “I’ll live with it. I think.”

                “Okay.” Mark nodded. “I just wanted to…”

                “Mark?”

                “Yeah?”

                “Can you be honest with me?”

                “Sure.”

                “When you said…” she swallowed thickly “that I deserved more respect, did you mean it?”

                “Of course I did.” Mark said. “You paid for our van, gave us food and a place to stay and you took us to meet your friends. How could you not be respected for being so nice?”

                “I’m not nice you know.” She said.

                “I don’t believe that, or else you…” Mark saw the drop in her facial expression, and decided not to press on it anymore. He took his place next to her on the bed.

                “It’s Donghyuck isn’t it?”

                “What?”

                “It’s Donghyuck. Your friend. You’re gay aren’t you?”

                The fact that Mark did not answer, meant that Yeri found her answer. “I knew it. I should have seen it coming. You looked like you were ready to rip Woojin apart.”

                “I care about him, he’s my best friend. Woojin just…” he tried to come up with a word to not insult her friend. “Didn’t seem right.”

                “Then what would seem right? In fact, what are you looking for?” she asked. “You told me that you were on your way to some old palace, to find answers. What are you looking for?”

                “I don’t know,” Mark shrugged. “It’s a bit difficult to answer.”

                “Is it because you don’t know what to ask or you have too much to ask?”

                “A little of both.” Mark said. “I’m still kind of worried about the future, you know. Going to college, being an adult. I have to make all my decisions now, with no one to tell me if it’s right or wrong. It’s scary out there.”

                “Are you afraid of growing up?”

                “Aren’t you?”

                “Yeah, you’ve got a point.” Yeri nodded. “But I don’t see how a palace would be able to solve that.”

                “Maybe not, but maybe it proves that I’m ready to be an adult.”

                Yeri and Mark sat on her bed awkwardly, feeling the pregnant silence envelope the room. Yeri decided to be the first to speak up.

                “You are the first one to say no.”

                “I am?” Mark asked in surprise.

                “Yeah.” She rubbed her arms. “I thought guys like this.”

                “Not everyone. I know some jerks who do, but not everyone.”

                “You know, I have always been able to impress people with money, cars, body and whatever.” She said, waving her hands about. “But with you, I felt like nothing I said or did impressed you. So that made me want you more, and I…”

                “Yeri,” Mark stopped her. “You should be with people who care for you, not those who pretend they do.”

                Yeri bit her bottom lip so hard it was almost bleeding. She wept in her hands, with Mark’s arm around her skinny shoulders and his cheek pressed against the top of her head.

******************

                Yeri made a big splash about Mark and his friends leaving. She called all her friends, and Jihoon, Chaeyoung and quiet Tzuyu helped them load the van. Joy and Dino were busy getting awed by the van itself.

                “Holy shit you made this yourself?”

                “Yep, my dad and I.”

                “Can you make one for me?”

                “Do you have the money?”

                “Does a horse have legs?” Dino wriggled his eyebrows and Jeno pushed him teasingly. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were stroking Renjun’s hair for some odd reason while Woojin and Donghyuck looked at each other from across the driveway awkwardly.

                “We cannot thank you enough for everything.”

                “I’m actually going to miss you guys.” Jihoon smiled sadly. “You guys are really cool. If we were in high school together we would totally be best friends.”

                “Thanks man.” Mark gave Jihoon a fist-bump and a hug. He turned to Yeri and slipped something in her hands.

                “The other day, at the pool, you were talking about dying.” He said. “There’s a number to call. They can help you.”

                Yeri slipped a peek at the number. “Also, I think you should call your dad. I’m sure he misses you.”

                “I miss him too.” Yeri was enveloped into a tight hug with Mark, her tears wetting his T-shirt.

                “Okay guys, let’s get this show on the road!” Jeno said, revving the engine back to life. “Holy shit this baby sounds even better than before!”

                “I told the mechanic to give you guys the best of the best.”

                “Yeri, you are a saint.” Jeno sent her flying kisses. “Come on everyone!”

                Mark and Renjun climbed in, but Donghyuck’s eyes wandered to where Woojin was. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t leave without saying goodbye.

                “Hyuck!”

                “Give me a minute!” Donghyuck and Woojin walked towards each other. Yeri asked her friends to turn around and Mark closed the door to give them privacy, but he stuck his face to the glass to watch them anyways.

                “Woojin.”

                “Donghyuck.”

                “I’m sorry.”

                “Don’t be.” He shook his head, his dark red hair and playful grin showing, but the corners of his lips were not as high as before. “You don’t have to be sorry. We can still be friends.”

                “I’d like that.” Donghyuck smiled. He wanted Woojin as a friend, even if he knew they were not meant to be. Woojin cupped Donghyuck’s face to pull him in for a kiss. This kiss was different. It was gentle, innocent, and almost feathery. This was a goodbye kiss, as if Woojin knew that if he pressed any further, he would never let him go.

                “You’re so beautiful.”

                “Quit it with the tongue exchange and get in!!”

                “JENO!” Renjun slapped his arm.

                “I have to go.” And with that, Donghyuck climbed back into the van. They all waved goodbye, hands moving nonstop, even after the gold gates to Yeri’s mansion closed.

                Mark and Donghyuck did not speak a word to each other. They sat opposite each other, one staring into the distance, the other looking at his nails like they were the most interesting things on the planet.

                “He really likes you.”

                “Who?”

                “Woojin.” Mark said. “I can tell.”

                “I know.”

                “What did you say?”

                “I told him I was sorry.”

                “Was he hurt?”

                “I guess so.”

                Music by Jason Mraz filled the van. Leaves brushed against the side of the van.

                “That was a goodbye kiss.”

                “I know.”

                The van hit a bump, courtesy of To The Left Jeno and Donghyuck fell to the side. “Come.” Was all Mark said, extending a hand towards Donghyuck as he pulled the younger over. The van hit another bump as he moved over.

                “My bad!” Jeno yelled out as an apology.

                Mark rolled his eyes. His hands didn’t leave Donghyuck’s and Donghyuck made zero attempts to pull it back.

******************

                Nothing much would change in the months to come after Mark and his friends left. Woojin would move on to someone else, but every once in a while, would wonder where and what Donghyuck was up to. Jihoon, Tzuyu, Chaeyoung and Dino never stopped partying and being reckless teenagers.

                Yeri would call for help. She would talk to her father and tell him the truth. She would confront her demons and fight a lifelong war with her biggest enemy, herself. Some days she would win, some days she would lose, but it’s always better to lose a battle than lose the war.

                She will win. She will stay alive.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually made a small bonus chapter yesterday in honour of Mark's birthday, so you guys should definitely check it out if you can. XD
> 
> I had this chapter written almost a month ago, but when Chester Bennington passed away I modified it slightly. I had to, because he was such a huge influence in my life and the lives of millions of teenagers around the world who connected with his music more than anyone else. And if anything else, his passing and his struggle made Yeri's character even more relevant than ever. How can we talk about young adult if we don't talk about mental illness when millions all ove rthe world are suffering from it?
> 
> While he lost his war, I wanted to give hope and encourage everyone to never give up this lifelong war you are battling. I may not know what it is like to have depression, but some of dearest friends and family have them, and if my words can inspire someone and give them hope to get through the day, then in some small way, that's my success.
> 
> I imagine for Chester, that was how he felt too. To all my beautiful readers who are suffering, never give up hope. You are not alone. ^^


	12. Almost There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group pulls all-nighters to meet their schedule, dances the night away and wakes up to unexpected surprises.

_Donghyuck’s Playlist for Midnight Drives I am Finally Taking_

_Pretending-Evolution of Stars_

_“Did you know that clapping is just slapping yourself?”_

_“Renjun, you need sleep.”_

**********************

                The four-day delay at Yeri’s city had disrupted much of their original travel plans. In order to make it in time and be back home in time for prom night, the group decided to pull all-nighters and make fewer stops. They missed famous travel sights and notable restaurants they had plan to visit. Jeno and Mark took turns driving at night. Renjun helped to navigate and keep them on schedule, planning their routes. Donghyuck did the cooking of course. Those cans of baked beans and pasta had to serve their purpose or else it would expire.

                “Hyuck, you should be asleep.” Mark said. Donghyuck had climbed from the back to join Mark in the front seat. It was their second night driving down the highway, the lights from the street lamps above streaking like an artists’ paintbrush, painting the road in a warm light.

                “And be next to the lovebirds? Please.” Donghyuck scoffed. “There’s only so much cheesy late night talks you can eavesdrop on before you start feeling nauseous.”

                “What do they talk about?”

                “Trust me you don’t want to know.”

                Mark laughed. Donghyuck took out his phone and turned on the Bluetooth. “Can I use the speakers?”

                “Sure.”

                “Any requests?”

                “I’m okay with anything.”

                A soft melody started playing in the van. The drive was quiet, with Donghyuck’s head tipping towards Mark’s shoulder.

                “You can lean on me.”

                “You’re driving.”

                “It’s fine.”

                Donghyuck’s head rested on Mark’s shoulder. He supported his weight a little by propping himself up on his hand, careful not to lean too much on Mark and cause excessive force. Donghyuck’s phone buzzed in his hand. He checked his mail but did not respond to it.

                “Who was that?”

                “It was Woojin.” Donghyuck paused. “He wanted to know where I was.”

                “Why don’t you text him back?”

                “I’ll do it in the morning.”

                Mark nodded. He could smell the shampoo from Donghyuck’s hair from the shower they took at a local swimming centre.

                “Has Yeri ever texted you?”

                “No. I didn’t get her number.”

                “Oh.”

                Mark’s shoulders were bony, but his arms were strong. Donghyuck leaned a little more, his cheek pressing into Mark’s arm.

                “You don’t like Woojin, do you?”

                “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

                “Why do you assume he would hurt me?”

                “I don’t but…” Mark sighed. “I don’t know. I guess I just don’t like him.”

                “But he…”

                “I hated it when Jeno started dating.” Mark said. “He spent so much time with Renjun I felt abandoned. I was like an unwanted child. I got into fights with him and I even stopped talking with him after some time. We cleared it up and I like Renjun now, but sometimes I feel like I don’t have a best friend.”

                “Mark…”

                “And now he’s moving. He’s moving to the U.S.” Mark shook his head. “I really am losing my best friend.”

                The music played on. Donghyuck didn’t know what to do. He could hear Mark’s heartbeat as he placed a hand on Mark’s thigh.

                “If you are with someone else…” Mark swallowed thickly. “I would feel so alone. I would feel empty. I probably shouldn’t get angry at Woojin whom I didn’t know, but when I saw you with him, I felt like I was alone again. Then I got scared, and I tried to take it out on you. I’m sorry.”

                “It’s not your fault Mark.”

                “You mean more to me than you think you do, Hyuck. You really do.”

                The night couldn’t have been more perfect. Donghyuck wanted to reach for Mark’s hand, but he couldn’t distract him while he was driving, so instead, he placed it on Mark’s thigh. Donghyuck could feel Mark’s heartbeat, and without knowing it, it seemed like his own started to beat in time with his.

**********************

                “We have only two more hours of driving until we reach Scarwood Palace.” Mark grinned. It was probably a week or so since they started their journey, and now they are coming to the goal. He scooped up all the pasta in the pan and stuffed it in his mouth.

                “We should get some rest before we resume our journey tomorrow.” Renjun said, wiping his bottom lip.

                “What’s the rush?” Donghyuck grinned. “The night is just getting started, and it’s our last night before we arrive our destination. We ought to have some fun!”

                “I agree with Hyuck.” Jeno high-fived him. “Let’s steal soda from gas stations, run around in grocery trolleys and steal mail from houses.”

                “We’re in the middle of nowhere.” Mark laughed. “The only thing we can steal is eggs from a bird’s nest.”

                “Okay fine.” Jeno pouted. “What do you suggest we do?”

                “I’ve got a fun idea.” Donghyuck climbed into the van. He grabbed the radio from inside, plugged his phone in, and Really Really by Winner started playing.

                “The first one to stop dancing cleans the dishes!!”

                “You’re on!” Jeno immediately stood up and started dancing. Renjun joined him and soon Mark was on his feet too. The bonfire they started in the corner was still crackling away. The night sky glistened with stars above them as the music filled the quiet night. An owl whooed in the distance but no one was listening. Jeno grabbed a bottle and pretended to be Song Mino, rapping to the beat while Mark was too busy trying to shuffle in a confined space. The song changed to All Night by The Vamps and they exited the van, dancing and singing harder than before.

                They danced like this the whole night, as if they never danced before.

**********************

                “Mark…”

                “Hmm….”

                “Mark… get up.”

                “What….”

                “Get up.”

                “What do you want Jeno…holy…” When Mark opened his eyes and sat up, the first thing he saw was a beautiful view of the valley before them. A strong, wide river flowed through like blood through someone’s veins. Trees of all sizes painted the mountains and hills in all shades of green. The rising sun in a corner, it’s light washing over a blanket of fog that covered the tops of the trees. Renjun and Donghyuck were huddled in a corner with blankets around them as they watched the view before them.

                “I didn’t even know where I was driving last night.”

                “It’s beautiful.”

                “We were lucky to have parked here last night.”

                Mark smiled. They were very lucky indeed. He got up and took his blanket, sitting down next to Donghyuck while Renjun cuddled Jeno. Donghyuck handed him a cup of warm coffee, and suddenly everything was perfect.

                His favourite people.

                His favourite coffee.

                The most unexpected view.

                Sometimes in life, the best things come unexpectedly. Or even better, maybe they are under our noses all this time.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more of a 'relaxer' chapter, especially because the past few have been pretty intense, and the next are going to be intense too, so I thought I would give you guys a break before we pull out some more drama hahahahahahaha
> 
> Also, side note:
> 
> NCT Dream's comeback is happening and I am so excited!!!!! I cannot wait to see my babies again!!! NCTzens, don't forget to support their comeback by streaming their videos on YouTube and on Melon and Genie!!1 Let's give NCT Dream another win for We Young!


	13. Crumbling Palace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys arrived at the legendary Scarwood Palace, but it didn't live up to it's expectations.

_Renjun’s Playlist for Expect the Unexpected_

_Sunsets for Somebody Else-Jack Johnson_

_“Sometimes, things don’t always go as plan. That’s life. That’s how it works.”_

********************

                Mark waited a lifetime to go to Scarwood Palace. A lifetime of dreaming, wondering, fascination and what could be considered near obsession. He was so anxious to start driving that he almost drove off without his friends.

                “Will you calm down? Why are you acting like a bride on her wedding night?”

                “Because I am so excited! I can’t believe we are almost there. My childhood dream palace.”

                “Don’t get your hopes too high Mark. We don’t know what to expect from that place.” Jeno had warned.

                They arrived at the town where Scarwood Palace was located. Jeno had a bad feeling the minute they drove into town, and he noticed that there were no signage regarding Scarwood Palace, or any other kind of palace to be specific.

                “Turn right here Jeno.”

                “This is weird.” Jeno told Renjun, who was navigating for him. “Where are all the signs?”

                “Maybe they took it down for repairs.”

                “I don’t know Junnie…” Jeno shook his head. “I don’t like this at all.”

                They drove a couple more kilometres and the nauseous pit of doom in Jeno’s stomach grew worse. “Mark? There’s something iffy about this.”

                “Why? Are we lost?”

                “I think so,” he said. “There is no sign Mark. Are you sure the Palace exists?”       

                “Of course it does, why else do you think we’re going there?”

                “But…”

                “LOOK!!” Renjun pointed at a wooden sign a few feet away. The sign was washed out and it’s paint was almost unnoticeable, the letters ‘SCARWOOD PALACE’ were in capital.

                “We’re here!!” Mark slapped the back of the chair excitedly. “We’re here!!!”

                “Are you sure?”

                “Yes!!! Look look look!!!”

                “Uhm…Mark?” Donghyuck peered out the window. “I…I really don’t think you are going to like this.”

                Behold, the grand Scarwood Palace. The place that used to host kings, queens, statesmen and celebrities, was covered in moss and vines. The windows had no glass in them, and overgrown vines wrapped the walls like it was the palace’s veins. The steps leading to the castle were broken, tiles crumbling and paint peeling off like a second skin.

                “Oh my god.” The four teenagers stepped out of the van, walking towards the abandoned palace.

                “This place is a dump.”

                “No, it can’t be.” Mark shook his head. “What happened to this place?”

                “I’ll tell you what happened.” Renjun pointed to a For Sale sign in a corner. Mark’s heart stopped in his chest as his eyes drifted towards the object of his childhood wonder and fantasies, now broken and unwanted.

                _It…really is a dump._

                The sound of another car pulling up behind them startled the four boys. A man got out of a Ford Fiesta, dressed in jeans with multiple piercings in his ear. “Sorry boys but this palace has been sold.”

                “We’re not here to buy a palace.” Jeno said. “We’re here to see it.”

                “Well it’s not much to see isn’t it?” the man sighed, kicking away some rocks as he walked to where the sign was. He pulled it out of the ground. “This place has been sold to Aprico Properties.”

                “What are they going to do with it?” Donghyuck asked.

                “Turn it into a resort, bulldoze it down, make a highway, I don’t know.” The man shrugged. “All I know is, this palace has been in my generation for years, and grandpa is going to be very upset about it.”

                “Your grandfather owns this castle?”

                “Yeah. I’m Ten.” Ten offered his hand out to shake theirs.

                “I’m Renjun. This is Jeno, Donghyuck and Mark.” Renjun gestured to Mark, who was staring at the castle, standing a few feet away from the group. “Mark is uhm…a huge fan of this palace.”

                “Well I’m sorry to disappoint you all.” Ten rubbed the back of his head. “But this palace, has got to go.”

********************

                “Grandpa, I have guests.”

                “Guests are like mice. You open one door and they all come in.”

                “Don’t mind my grandfather.” Ten chuckled nervously, opening the door to his house as the four teenagers stepped in, putting their shoes away. Ten’s grandfather lived near the property where Scarwood Palace was still sitting on. It was a small house but very well taken care of. Pictures of Scarwood Palace from decades ago decorated the walls, along with family photos featuring babies, wives, old people and even dogs. One of the babies had a very big smile on his face, who Jeno could only presume to be Ten himself, judging from the way he shone his pearly whites at his grandfather.

                “Make yourself at home, can I get you anything to drink?”

                “Anything, we don’t mind at all.” Donghyuck said.

                “I’ll make some tea. Grandpa, where did you put the teabags?”

                “Bags are placed in the corner sir.”

                “Grandpa, I told you to stop rearranging things in the kitchen.” Ten sighed, opening all the doors to find the damned teabags. “One day you won’t be able to find anything.”

                “Aren’t we all continuously searching for things in life my friend?” the old man said, sitting in his rocking chair, looking out the window at a view of trees and hills.

                “My grandfather gets bored easily.” Ten laughed. Donghyuck had stood up to help him make his tea. “When he needs to find something to do, he’ll just rearrange the things in the cupboards, move things outside…once he even threw his clothes outside.”

                “Is he…”

                “He’s just getting old.” Ten tried to smile. “My family and I have been trying to get him to move into the city with us.”

                “You don’t live here?”

                “Oh no, I just come back here every once in a while, to take care of him. I help him manage the property since he can’t do it anymore. No one else in the family wants to touch that castle. They think it’s too much work.”

                Ten and Donghyuck bought their tea over. Renjun helped to serve while Ten gave one to his grandfather. Grandpa Lee was in his late 80s at best, his hair was white like snow, his beard was so long and his skin reminded Mark of a wrinkled old prune. He was just gazing outside wistfully, perhaps so preoccupied in his thoughts he didn’t even acknowledge Ten putting a cup in his hand.

                “So…your family owns this palace?”

                “That’s right.” Ten nodded. “Started with my great, great, times a hundred grandfather. He was Braden Scarwood’s caretaker. He inherited the place after Mr. Scarwood died and has been looking after it ever since.”

                Ten told them about how back in the days, the palace was a major tourist attraction, and Hollywood-style parties and powerful statesmen stayed there. Movies were shot there, celebrities held their weddings, and the Palace has even seen their fair share of deaths. Despite the palace’s colourful history, the palace soon fell into disrepair, and the expenditures needed to keep it in tip-top condition became too high.

                “My grandfather was the last real caretaker.” Ten said. “He used to take me into the palace, helping him clean and scrub floors. It was hard work, but I loved it. Grandpa always told me about the people who came to stay in Scarwood Palace. The stories he heard as a child, he passed it on to me.”

                “What happened?”

                “The economy, that’s what happened.” Ten sighed. “It was just getting harder and harder to maintain it. My dad said grandpa lived his whole life around that castle, and that he was silly for not selling it earlier to help pay for grandma’s medical bills.”

                “Your grandmother was sick?”

                “Very. Though in my grandpa’s defense, it was grandma who told him not to sell. Grandma loved this place.”

                “You could try collecting pieces of it’s history and preserve it as a historical landmark.” Renjun said.

                “We tried, believe me.” Ten shook his head. “But it was just too expensive to maintain. We sold all the furniture inside. All the Renaissance paintings, one of a kind antique armchairs and vases, to try and keep our heads above the water, but the local council didn’t do anything. Aprico made a bid for the land and said they wanted to use it to build a new shopping mall.”

                “A shopping mall? But we have plenty of that.” Donghyuck pouted.

                “Yes, but shopping malls bring in businesses and customers. Malls bring in sources of income to the local towns and the people in them.” Ten poured everyone some more tea. “The only thing this castle has bought in in recent years is a headache.”

                “I suppose we’re lucky that we are here to see it before it goes, right Mark?” Donghyuck turned to his left, but Mark was no longer there.

                “Mark?” he called.

                “Where did he go?” Jeno looked around, noticing the front door was open, and Mark’s shoes had disappeared.

                “He must have gone outside.”

                “I hope he didn’t go far,” Ten said. “The forest is pretty dense, and by the looks of it, the weather will not be good.”

                Thunder rumbled in a distance. Donghyuck put down his cup and stood up. “We gotta go find him.”

                All three teenagers stood up and ran out before the thunder could close in.

********************

                “Mark!!”

                “Mark!!!”

                “Maaark!!”

                “Mark Lee where are you?!!!” Jeno, Donghyuck and Renjun called as they circled the house, yelling into the sky, hoping Mark could hear them. When there was no response, it was Donghyuck who suggested they should spilt up.

                “Mark?! Mark?!?!?!?” Donghyuck called and called, stepping into the forest, crossing through branches and weaving his way through leaves. The sky was darkening above them, and pretty soon it would be impossible to find anybody in there. Donghyuck nearly squealed when he heard someone snap a tree branch in the distance.

                “Maybe that’s Mark…MARK!!!!”

                Donghyuck paved his way, running through the forests, crackling leaves under his feet as he tried to outrace the weather. Mother nature always win, and soon raindrops started trickling down.

                “Shit shit shit.” Donghyuck called. “MARK LEE!!! This isn’t funny anymore!!!! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?!?!!”

                It had begun to pour and this time Donghyuck went from anxious to pure panic. What If Mark had gotten lost, or injured? What if he fell down somewhere and couldn’t get up? What if he was caught by wolves or attacked by wild animals?

                No amount of Bears Club experience he had could possible prepare him for the horror that is imagining your best friend dead in the woods. The rain was pouring on them like a waterfall by now, visibility in the forest had gone down sharply. Donghyuck couldn’t hear anything aside from the thunder and beat of the raindrops on the forest floor like drums.

                “MARK LEE!!!!”

                By this time, Donghyuck was panting and crying. You couldn’t see the tears on his face because it was masqueraded by the rain, but he was petrified and worried. What if he really did lose his best friend?

                “Mark!!!!!!!” Donghyuck found a figure, squatting down by a small stream a few feet away from a tiny waterfall. Mark had his head buried in his arms, shivering from the wind.

                “Mark Lee Minhyung I could just kill you!!!!” Donghyuck screamed, grabbing his arm. “Let’s go!!”. Mark stayed like a rock, refusing to get up.

                “Mark it’s raining!!” he yelled, in case Mark didn’t realize their current weather conditions due to his snail-like behaviour. “You’re going to be sick let’s go!!”

                “Leave me alone!”

                “Have you fallen of your rocker and landed on your head?!” Donghyuck stared at him in utter bewilderment. Mark’s eyes were red, his nose runny (not that you could tell) and his hair stuck to his forehead like seaweed. He had been crying.

                “If this about that stupid palace…”

                “That palace was not stupid!” Mark snapped back in anger. Donghyuck could feel the frustration, anger, and most importantly, hurt, emanating from him.

                “That palace was my fucking childhood!” Mark sobbed. “It was the last thing I wanted to do before I grew up. It was the soul of this trip. The goodbye gift before I go to college and now look at it! It’s a dump!”

                “Mark you…”

                “Don’t you see? I failed. This trip is a failure.” Mark sobbed harder and harder. “We travelled all this way for nothing. Nothing, you hear me?!”

                Mark fell to his knees again, crying in the wind. Donghyuck didn’t know what to do, except to cry alongside him. He fell down to his knees as well, wrapped his arms around Mark, and they cried together in the pouring rain, rocking side by side.

                Just then, the rain seemed to stop beating on their faces. Donghyuck looked up, and it was Renjun and Jeno, holding umbrellas in their hands. “You grab Donghyuck, I’ll get Mark.” With Renjun’s arm on Donghyuck’s and Jeno pulling Mark up, they made their way out of the forest, the fog covering Scarwood Palace in the distance.

********************

                The four of them were invited to stay with Ten and his grandfather for the night. Ten made them all warm baths and hot soups as they had been caught in a terrible rain. Mark’s lips were almost blue from the cold, and he shivered and shook like a vibrating cell phone as he waited his turn for the bath. When he dipped his feet in the copper bathtub filled with warm water, he could feel his body succumb to its warmth, like a protective blanket covering a child. He rubbed the hot water all over his face, ears, and even his hair.

                “I hope you are proud of yourself.” Jeno came into the bathroom, placing a towel next to him. He had already freshened up, his hair still damp, and his handsome face was now scowling at him.

                “You are such a god damn idiot. How could you just run out like that without telling anyone? You could have gotten lost, or eaten by wolves or fallen off a fucking cliff and we wouldn’t know. Do you know how scared we all were? Huh? Donghyuck was screaming off the top of his lungs and he is still shaking right now. You scared all of us to death, we thought you were hurt!”

                Mark just sat there in the tub, hands on his knees as he curled them to his chest. He couldn’t explain his attitude, and even if he could, he knew it would not be enough.

                “Look, I get that you are disappointed that this stupid palace is up for sale, and it didn’t turn out the way you want to, but that doesn’t mean you get to throw a fucking childish tantrum and scream like a…”

                “You don’t know anything!” Mark finally snapped. “You don’t know what that place means to me! I waited a lifetime to visit this place, you hear me? An entire lifetime! My childhood dreams and longings are in that place, how would you feel like if you were me, and you just learned that everything you once knew was about to be fucking destroyed!”

                “Will you stop making this trip all about you for god’s sake!” Jeno yelled back. “We planned this trip because of you. Going to Scarwood was your idea, okay? I told you not to go, but you fucking insisted on it. When the van got held up, we had to cancel all of MY PLANS, just so we could go to yours. Since when is this Mark’s Last Trip? This is OUR last trip, okay? OURS.”

                “If you were so unhappy all this time why didn’t you say anything?”

                “Because you were either whining about Donghyuck being with Woojin or fucking complaining about me leaving, which brings me to one thing, you and Donghyuck. Will you stop lying to him, and yourself, and just tell him you like him?”

                “I don’t…”

                “Don’t you even try you liar.” Jeno pointed a finger at him. “I have known you for years and I can see through your fake act.”

                Mark dipped his head down. An icy silence passed through them as Jeno rubbed his temples in frustration.

                “He likes you, you like him. A blind man in Alaska can see it. Even Yeri, fucking Yeri can see it. And she knew you for less than a week.” Jeno’s bitter tone sent shivers down Mark’s back. “I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you. Either man up and do something, or all you’re doing is hurting Donghyuck. You don’t see it because you ate too fucking oblivious.”

                “I’m…hurting him?”

                “Shit you really are an idiot.” Jeno huffed. “You really don’t know?”

                Mark had zero idea what Jeno was talking about and just stared at him in confusion.

                “Mark, you are leading him on, okay? You tell him he’s important, and that he’s your best friend, and that you care for him deeply, but then you don’t do anything else, right? You don’t say ‘no, I don’t want to be your boyfriend,’ you don’t hold his hand, you don’t kiss him, you don’t do anything and that is hurting him okay?”

                “How do you know that?”

                “He and Renjun have gotten very close.” Jeno explained. “Do you know why he let Woojin kiss him, let Woojin come close to him? Because he is sick and tired of your bullshit and trying to be the good guy by not doing anything and you know what, I have to agree, okay? You can’t just sit there, expect everything to happen on its own and not take responsibility for you actions and when it does go wrong, run outside in the rain and throw a tantrum like a fucking child. You are not a child anymore, you get me? YOU. ARE. NOT. A. CHILD.”

                “You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t know that we have to grow up and live our separate lives?!” Mark splashed water everywhere as he flailed his hands about. “My best friend is fucking leaving me, I’m moving out in a couple of months to become a ‘grown up’ which I don’t know how to be and you standing there, trying to yell at me is not helping this!!!”

                “Quit trying to play the pity game I am fucking sick of it!” Jeno growled back at him. “So what if life doesn’t work out your way? What are you going to do about it? Sit here and whine and cry and hope that your daddy comes and fixes it for you? What about ten years down the road? You’re still going to be sitting on your whiny ass crying whenever something doesn’t go per plan? Grow the fuck up Mark. We’re not children anymore. Whether you like it or not, time is ticking. I am moving. I will be moving, and one day, so will Donghyuck. One day, he’s going to be married, with children of his own, having a happy little family, and you are going to be stuck in a tiny house, looking out the window and asking yourself what might have been.”

                Jeno ruffled his hair, turning his back towards Mark. “You think you’re the only one who is scared? I’m moving to a fucking foreign country and I can’t speak a word of English. You think I’m not shaking in my boots. I’m shitting myself right now and you don’t see it.”

                “Jeno…”

                “The world does not revolve around you. You think you got problems, wait till you see the people around you.” Jeno scoffed. “It’s time to grow up, child. Because if you don’t, everyone else will, and you will be left all alone. I swear it.” With that, Jeno slammed the bathroom door, leaving Mark alone in his tub.

                Mark sank back, bringing his hands to his face. His chest tightened, and he cried again.

               

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, it's time for some angst XD The next chapter won't be like that, too much at least, but prepare your heart guys hahahahahahahahaha
> 
> on a more important note: TODAY IS NCT DREAM'S COMEBACK AND I AM FUCKING EXCITED! MY SONS ARE GOING TO SLAAAAAY!


	14. Mark Lee, or Better Known as Mr. Montgomery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Granpa Lee shows his visitors the most beautiful summer palace in the world.

_Mark’s Playlist for Digging Through Old Stuff_

_Red Dawn-Enzo_

_“Yeah dad, the palace is a dump.”_

_“I’m sorry Mark. You must be so disappointed.”_

_“I am dad, but I think I’ll be over it.”_

*****************

                “Do you like stars?”

                “Holy shit…” Mark nearly dropped his cup from shock when he saw Grandpa Lee across the room, walking towards his rocking chair by the window. It was late at night and Mark had gone to the kitchen for some water. He didn’t expect anyone to be awake, much less an old man.

                “I like stars.”

                Grandpa Lee grinned, sitting in his rocking chair. “Silently, one by one, in the infinite meadows…”

                “Uhm…” Mark gulped. “I’m just going to…”

                “My world stopped when I held hands with her.” Grandpa Lee uttered. “You know that feeling?”

                “I’m not sure I…”

                “You better hurry. Mdm Louise doesn’t like her cocktail warm.”

                “But I…”

                “Mr. Montgomery is coming! Quick! Dust the panels!”

                Anyone would have thought that Grandpa Lee was insane, and perhaps he really was, but Mark walked up to Grandpa Lee and leaned against the window, looking at the old man. The old man was smiling to himself, his mind working faster than his mouth because he kept switching mid-sentence. His hands were tapping against the chair as his eyes darted around. He looked at Mark, then he looked outside. He looked up and he looked down, seemingly everywhere with no focus. Maybe he wasn’t. Grandpa Lee was living in a world of his own, oblivious to the reality he is in.

                Mark couldn’t stop noticing Grandpa Lee’s smile, how his toothless grin overpowered his face. He was thinking about something that made him happy, maybe a memory of some sort. Of his wife, his children, his days in the palace, his childhood, who knows?

                If Grandpa Lee knew that Ten had sold off the palace, he would be very upset. But…maybe he does? Maybe he doesn’t? At this point, it was hard to tell. Mark suddenly felt sad for the old man. He could feel tears springing at his eyes, and a warm hand reached up to touch his cheek.

                “What have I told you about crying?”

                “You didn’t…”

                “If you cry your mother will start crying so be a good boy.” Grandpa Lee chastised him, wiping his tears. “Smile son, we have a party to attend to!”

                Mark watched Grandpa Lee hum a tune he didn’t recognize, hands moving as if he was dancing, eyes rolling into the back of his eyes and he chuckled warmly, his deep voice resonating into the night.

                Grandpa Lee was so happy.

                How does he do it? How could he be so happy? How does his memories stay so alive, and why does he want to stay there?

                Perhaps there is joy in oblivion. His memories must be like a vivid movie in his head, one that he always returns too. So what if people deemed him insane? Evidently there is joy in insanity. From the way he smiled and hummed, you couldn’t tell he was old. He looked, and probably felt like a young handsome man, dancing with the woman he loved.

                Mark watched the old man, fingers tapping to the tune Grandpa Lee was humming. For a while, it was as if Mark was watching Grandpa Lee’s movie as well, as if they were sharing the same memories.

                There’s a lot of joy in listening to old people. It’s one of my favourite things to do. Most people don’t have the patience, and who can blame them? But when you do, you can hear a story even greater than those told in books, because these stories are alive. And when they tell you, watch their eyes and check their faces.

                They become alive too.

*****************

                “I trust you will enjoy your stay in Scarwood Palace, Mr. Montgomery.”

                “Who the hell is Mr. Montgomery and why does he keep calling you that?” Donghyuck whispered into Mark’s ear as they walked towards Scarwood Palace. Ten had promised them a look inside the crumbling palace and Grandpa Lee seemed excited about it. His ears perked up and a toothless grin appeared, wrinkles decorating his face and squishing some of his features.

                “Grandpa must think you guys are guests coming to stay in the palace.” Ten giggled. “Just play along. It’ll be fun.”

                “Would your wife like a martini?”

                “I am not his…” Mark looked at Donghyuck with a finger to his lips. They exchanged glances while Jeno and Renjun laughed behind them. Donghyuck sighed, and with a fake female voice, he said “No thank you sir.”

                “Very well madam.”

                “So, Madam Donghyuck,” Renjun teased. “How is your child doing at school?”

                “Don’t piss off this madam or she’s going to strangle you with her bare hands.”

                “Here we are,” the door to Scarwood Palace opened, leaves scraping against the doorway as the heavy wooden doors opened with much force. The smell of musk and old wood wafted out and it was so heavy you could choke on it.

                “Our grand foyer. Shall I take your bags?”

                “Uh no sir.” Mark played along. “We travelled light.”

                There was so much dust in the palace you could see it flying in the air. The sunlight beat in through equally dusty windows painted in bird poop, curtains so old and heavy that if it dropped it could kill someone. A grand staircase with its marble handles greeted them at first sight, covered in dust and debris from the crumbling ceiling above. Jeno looked up and saw peeling paint and holes, but underneath it lay a beautiful fresco of flowers. A huge, crystal chandelier dangled above them, cobwebs covering it like a second layer of skin.

                “It’s…it’s actually…” Donghyuck tried to form words.

                “Beautiful.” Mark breathed out. He could taste the oldness on his tongue, he could hear the creaking floorboards and it was almost as if he could see people dancing.

                “If only these walls could talk. Imagine the stories it could tell.”

                “If you want to know, just listen to my grandfather.” Ten smiled.

                “I did.” Mark nodded, recalling the night before he spent with Grandpa Lee.

                The palace had 15 rooms, most of them were barren, but no less beautiful. There was a room that used to be a library, the old cupboards and chests were still there. The kitchen had a crumbling island in the middle of it, where servants prepared meals with ingredients from all over the world. Beautiful frescoes and dusty, ancient wallpaper lined the whole house, but the pride and joy of the palace, according to Grandpa Lee, was not inside the palace.

                It was outside the palace.

                “Holy smokes.” The teenagers gasped at the sight of the palace’s backyard. A huge reflection pool laid in its centre, with moss covered railings and crumbling steps. A lawn chair was almost swallowed by nature and leaves filled the top of the pool, leaving only small spots for the sun to reflect of it. The water was probably murky and dirty, and the smell of musk mixed with nature was in the air.

                “Kings and queens once dined here.” Grandpa Lee said, his arms outstretched as if he was showing off a new car. “In the summer, the sun was not too hot, just warm enough to show it’s glistening light on the pool, and during the night, you can see the stars in them. Isn’t it beautiful Mr. Montgomery?”

                “Huh?” Jeno nudged Mark. “Oh, uhm…yes. Beautiful indeed.”

                “Can you imagine the parties they had here?” Donghyuck smiled, sitting on one of the lawn chairs. “Excuse me _dahling_ but the salmon is positively derogative compared to the trout.” He batted his eyelashes, hiked up one leg and waved his hand around like a lady and everyone laughed.

                “Did you see the way Lady Seulgi batted her eyes at Lord Sehun?” Renjun joined him, pretending to fan himself. “Such indecency. Does she really think nobody at this party will notice her flirtatious demeanour?”

                “Mr. Montgomery, I hear trade of spices in India has been flourishing for you.” Jeno slipped into character mode, pretending to huff on a pipe.

                “Why yes Mr. Lee and I heard about the renovations on your home? How are they coming?” Mark asked in what is probably the worst British accent of all time.

                “It’s terrible. The workers just can’t get it right. How hard is it to build a 100-bedroom mansion with two pools and a Ferris wheel inside?”

                Everyone laughed loudly. Grandpa Lee was busy swaying around, obviously pretending he was dancing. Ten was just shaking his head, watching his grandfather, and making sure he didn’t fall. Renjun and Donghyuck started fanning themselves and flitted their imaginary skirts.

                “I must say, do you see those two handsome gentlemen there?”

                “Lady Renjun that’s our husbands.” Donghyuck smirked.

                “Really? Look at me,” Renjun faked a drawl. “Married for 15 years and I can’t even recognize my own husband. I must be getting old.”

                “You sure didn’t age too gracefully.”

                “You little…” Renjun almost kicked Donghyuck in the butt, but not before resuming his act. “I should ask him to dance with me. Sir?”

                “Yes?” Jeno turned and bowed politely.

                “Shall we dance?”

                “Of course.” Jeno took Renjun’s hand in his, and the two of them did a silly twirl and started laughing. Mark just shook his head, thinking they were ridiculous, until Donghyuck tapped him on the shoulder.

                “Dance with me.”

                “But there’s no music.”

                “Just pretend. Your wife commands you.” Hid eyebrows wriggled playfully, and Mark just can’t seem to say no. He wrapped his arms around Donghyuck’s waist, slowly swaying as Donghyuck wrapped his arms around Mark’s neck. Jeno and Renjun were already making their tenth twirl and Jeno tried to dip him, which caused a round of squealing and screaming. Grandpa Lee was clapping his hands and laughing like a child.

                “Look!” he told his grandson. “They are having fun!”

                “We are, aren’t we?”

                “What?” Mark turned to look at Donghyuck.

                “Having fun.” Donghyuck smiled. From the way the sun glistened off his beautiful skin, his smile wide enough to be the sun itself and his pretty eyes looking into Mark’s, Mark’s heart was sure that it stopped functioning. He held onto Donghyuck just a little tighter.

                “I am too.”

                “Thank you for bringing me on this trip Mark.” Donghyuck said. “Thank you for not sending me away.”

                “No, Donghyuck, it’s me who should thank you.” Mark said. “You have been so amazing, cooking, cleaning, making us laugh…I’m sorry if you ever felt like I took you for granted, but this trip would not have been the same if it wasn’t for you. I swear.”

                A blush creeped on his face, painting his cute cheeks in such a pretty way Mark wanted to bend down and kiss him. “And you said I was going to be a bother.” He teased.

                “I was wrong. Clearly.” Mark laughed. “You are my best friend, Hyuck. And god damn it you…”

                “I what?”

                “You…”

                “What?”

                “You…” Mark suddenly couldn’t find the words. His fingers lingered on Donghyuck’s lower back, knotting with his shirt as Donghyuck looked at him, waiting for an answer. “God, you are so beautiful.”

                Then, it was as if time stopped, and God wanted to make the moment even more amazing then before. Donghyuck could hear his heart in his ears, his chest heaving, cheeks turning hot and tongue in knots. “What?”

                “I mean it. I’m sorry it took me so long, but you really are beautiful.”

                Donghyuck waited years to hear someone tell him that, and finally, the words came from the man he loved the most. He could cry, but there was no time for that because now Mark was dangerously close, and he could smell Ten’s honey shampoo on him.

                Their noses touched and lips hovered centimetres from each other. Then, Renjun let out a shriek and Jeno laughed.

                “Lady Hyuck and Mr. Montgomery!! Such indecency!” He faked a dramatic gasp. “You two are in public! Control yourselves!”

                “You piece of…” Donghyuck escaped Mark’s arms and ran after Renjun. “Come back and Imma show you how a lady stuffs a dead body!!”

                Mark just stood there laughing, giving Jeno a high five as Donghyuck kept threatening to ‘skin Renjun and hang him by the teeth’. Grandpa Lee was just clapping along and Ten laughed as well.

                “This place is alive! It’s alive!” Grandpa Lee looked up to the sky, as if the heavens were speaking to him. And he was right, with all the laughter and smiles, the beat of feet running about and screams of fake horror, Scarwood Palace was alive once more.

*****************

                “Thank you for your hospitality.” Mark shook Ten’s hand once more as they loaded up the van. “I’m sorry if we caused you any trouble.”

                “It’s no problem at all.” Ten smiled. “It’s nice to have guests who appreciate the value of an old building. I’m just sorry we couldn’t meet your expectations.”

                “Actually,” Mark grinned. “I think it was better that way.”

                “Come on Grandpa, say goodbye to our guests.”

                “Goodbye Mr. Montgomery.” Grandpa Lee smiled his toothless smile, wrinkles covering his eyes. “It was such a short stay. I hope you had a pleasant time.”

                “I did. Thank you very much.” Mark held Grandpa Lee’s hands, feeling the thinness and the wrinkled skin. Grandpa Lee patted Mark’s back, and placed a hand on his cheek.

                “Bless you, child. Bless you.”

                “Goodbye Mr. Lee. Goodbye Ten. Thank you for everything.”

                The group waved goodbye as Jeno started the engine, and drove off. Ten and Grandpa Lee waved and waved, with Scarwood Palace in the background, it’s dark façade looming over them like a shadow. If buildings could talk, maybe the palace was saying goodbye too.

                “That wasn’t too bad, was it?” Renjun smiled.

                “Yeah. It’s just too bad no one else will be in time to see the Palace before it gets bulldozed.”

                “Which is why I took a lot of pictures.” Donghyuck said. “Hopefully these will provide lasting memories of a dead place.”

                “I don’t know.” Mark shrugged. “Grandpa Lee still thinks it’s alive.”

                “He’s insane.” Donghyuck laughed. “He kept calling you Mr. Montgomery, as if you were some rich ass trader. Please, the only thing you ever traded were Pokemon cards.”

                Mark raised a hand to smack Donghyuck’s arms playfully. “Mark,” Jeno asked. “Did you find what you were looking for? You said this place provided the answers to your questions.”

                “God I…I don’t know.” Mark shrugged. “But I feel good. I feel so much better now than I did better.”

                “Maybe the palace doesn’t give you answers. It gives you peace.” Renjun said. “It doesn’t solve your problems. It gives you the confidence to do it yourself.”

                “I guess. Not like I knew what it was that I needed answers too.” Mark nodded. He liked that idea. The palace may not have been all it’s cracked up to be, but it was something. Perhaps, in many ways, life is like that too. We don’t always know where we are going, what our problems are, and many times it doesn’t end the way we expect it too, but life has something. There’s always something, and sometimes you just need to look for it, or see it with fresh eyes.

                Mark smiled as he looked out the window, the old Scarwood Palace sign fading in the distance. He felt light, and his heart was at peace.

                _The magic of Scarwood Palace really is true._

*****************

                Grandpa Lee died shortly after, just a week before the palace was to be torn down. He passed away in his rocking chair, presumably still humming that crazy tune and wondering if Mr. Gunther wanted foie gras for dinner. He seemed to be smiling as he passed away, his toothless grin decorated his peaceful face.

                Ten buried his grandfather exactly as he wished, next to his wife and with a pair of white gloves he wore while he worked as caretaker of the palace. His epitaph read: _I hope you enjoyed your stay. I know I did._

                As they tore the palace down, many workers said they felt like there were eyes watching them, as if the ghosts of the old palace were suddenly released like butterflies. They said they could hear the walls talk and voices in the wind, speaking about memories.

                That was pure bullshit of course. Memories are not alive in buildings. Memories are alive in the people who live through them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who want a better idea of what the castle may have looked like, you can click on the links below:  
> https://twitter.com/abandonedspaces/status/883403572989149187  
> https://twitter.com/abandonedspaces/status/874698875696709633  
> https://twitter.com/abandonedspaces/status/870726111222788097
> 
> I am so overwhelmed with all the love you guys have given this story for the past few weeks. I am seriously so blessed and lucky to have such supportive readers! And yes, this chapter is a HUGE step for markhyuck and trust me, it will only get bigger in the next chapter when Jaehyun comes back in the picture XD


	15. Midsummer Music Fest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys visit NCT U to get their first glimpse of college life. Jaehyun introduces his new boyfriend while Jeno and Mark unleash their inner fanboy.

_Mark’s Playlist for Terrible Songs to Sing Terribly To_

_Surfin’ Safari-The Beach Boys_

_“Let’s go surfin’ now….”_

_“Jesus Jeno why do you sound like a pelican giving birth to a hippo?”_

_“Excuse you but I happen to have the voice of an angel.”_

_“And the face of Satan too.”_

_“Shut up Donghyuck.”_

*******************

                The next part of the trip went exactly as how Mark had originally intended it to be: just 4 friends, driving through nature, and singing along to the music. Jeno and Renjun would be in the front, listening to everything from Coldplay to Glen Campbell on the radio and singing at the top of their lungs. Donghyuck would have the windows slightly open as he looked outside, the wind blowing his hair away while Mark checked out the map they pasted on the side of the van, highlighting the spots they managed to visit.

                “You know,” Renjun almost screamed over the sound of Earth, Wind and Fire before Jeno turned down the volume. “We still have time for one more pit stop before we head back.”

                “What’s the rush?” Donghyuck asked, creeping over to the front seat.

                “Prom. It’s in 5 days.” Jeno bopped to the song, his head swinging left and right. “It’s the biggest night of our senior year.”

                “You’re going?” Donghyuck asked Mark, who was busy tapping his feet to the disco song.

                “I haven’t decided yet.”

                “What?” Donghyuck looked at him weirdly. “How could you not decide? It’s either yes or no.”

                “I didn’t want to go because I didn’t have a date.”

                “So go find someone.”

                “But I…”

                “Hang on,” Donghyuck held a hand up as he whipped his phone out from his pocket. He gasped at the caller and reached to shut the music off.

                “Say do you…HEY!!!”

                “Shhh!!!” Donghyuck slapped Renjun on the chest harshly. “It’s my brother!!”

                “Don’t slap my baby!”

                “Shut up!! Hello?” Donghyuck answered the call. “Hey Jaehyun, what’s up?”

                “Jaehyun’s calling?” Mark asked, joining them in the front, narrowly avoiding his head getting bumped into again as Jeno swerved to take a corner.

                “I’m on the road bro, what do you want?” Donghyuck asked. His face suddenly lit up a little, and a smile creeped on his face. “Really?!?!? That’s amazing!”

                “What’s amazing?”

                “It’ll take us a couple of hours to get to you.”

                “We’re going where?”

                “I’ll call you when we’re almost there.” Donghyuck said, ending the conversation a few seconds later. “My brother called. His university is having their annual Midsummer Music Fest and he asked if we wanted to come.”

                “What’s a Midsummer Music Fest?” Renjun asked.

                “It’s a big summer music festival with food, games and tons of different musicians. Think Coachella and Woodstock but smaller and less muddy.”

                “That sounds like fun!”

                “Don’t these festivals need tickets?”

                “Don’t worry about that,” Donghyuck smiled. “If he’s inviting, that means he’s got the hook up, if you know what I mean.”

                “I don’t see any reason why we can’t join then.” Mark shrugged. “Do you know who is performing?”

                “Somebody by the name of EXO.”

                _SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH_

“What the fuck Jeno!!!” Renjun screamed as the van came to a screeching halt on road and almost threw him through the windscreen glass.

                “What did you say?!?!?”

                “He said what the fuck you…”

                “Not that!!! I meant the one before!!”

                “I said someone by the name of EXO is coming.” Donghyuck answered.

                Jeno and Mark looked at each other with wide eyes before screaming their heads off and arms flailing around like broken eagles. “AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

                “Hang on hang on!!” Donghyuck screamed over them, clasping one hand over Mark’s mouth. “What are you screaming for?”

                “It’s EXO!!! Are you fucking kidding me?!?!?! EXO is coming!!!!”

                “Who’s EXO?” Renjun asked plainly. His boyfriend shot him a look and he reeled back in confusion.

                “You. Don’t. Know. Who. Is. EXO? I’m insulted. Are you even my boyfriend?”

                “Like I said, who’s EXO?”

                “Like, only the greatest indie group of all time!” Mark rolled his eyes as if Donghyuck and Renjun were cavemen resurrected from ice. “You have never heard of them?!”

                “I’M CREEPING IN YOUR HEART BABE!!” Jeno and Mark sang, dancing awkwardly in the van, doing a move like they were trying to wipe their crotches. Donghyuck and Renjun looked at each other and shrugged.

                “How could you not know them?! That is impossible! How can you live without blessing yourself to the sound of God Chen and his spicy vocals?!” Mark grabbed Donghyuck’s shoulders.

                “Or Master Baekhyun and his honey like tone? Or Saviour Xiumin and his epic high notes?”

                “Or King D.O and his heavenly R&B whiskey voice?!” Mark sighed deeply, his eyes turning into googly pink hearts.

                “Mark, don’t forget about the Maestro of Rap Park Chanyeol!!”

                “Or the Lord Sehun and his epic SHAWTY IMMA PARTY TILL THE SUN DOWN!”

                “Emperor Kai and his hypnotic eyes…”

                “How about Lay, the Ruler of body waves?”

                “And last but not least…”

                “COMMANDER SUHO AND HIS ARMY OF WARRIORS HERE TO SLAAAAAAAAAY US!!!” Mark and Jeno pumped two fists in the air, like they were praying to a higher god.

                “Why do they sound like an extreme version of the Greek God council?” Renjun laughed, pulling his boyfriend’s collar to reign the wild fanboy horse in. “We get it. You guys are big fans.”

                “This is my dream! To see EXO live in concert!” Jeno breathed fast. “It’s happening!! I can’t believe it! I get to see my gods, my angels, my….”

                _HOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!_

                “GET OUT OF THE WAY YOU FUCKERS!!!”

                “DON’T SCREAM AT ME FOR APPRECIATING MY KINGS YOU ASSHOLES!!” Jeno yelled back.

                “Excuse me,” Renjun chuckled awkwardly as he grabbed Jeno by the neck, apologising for holding up the traffic behind them. “I’m sorry guys, we’ll be moving. Get driving Jeno.”

                “But he…”

                “Drive or you will never see EXO again because I will kill you.”

                It’s hard to argue with that. Jeno started the van and they moved on again.

*******************

                “I love this place already.” Donghyuck tapped his feet to the music of the Bee Gees in The Chili Pond, the restaurant Jaehyun had asked them to meet him in. They were already impressed by the name, but the restaurant interior was decked out to look like a retro American dinner, with its classic black and white tiles on the floor, red, leather seats by the bar and in the booth, an old-fashioned jukebox that still works and posters of famous American stars like Marilyn Monroe and Frank Sinatra.

                “Take note Jeno and Renjun,” Mark swayed to the beat of Staying Alive. “You guys will probably go to lots of these kinds of restaurants in America.”

                “I’m excited already.” Renjun laughed, sipping his coke. “Look! Someone’s coming in!”

                “Bro!” Donghyuck waved. Mark turned and saw Jaehyun, carrying his backpack and a wide smile with a blue snapback on his head. Something in his heart skipped a little.

                “Hey there! Hey Mark!”

                “Guys, this is my brother Jaehyun. That’s Jeno and Renjun.”

                “Nice to meet everyone.” Jaehyun smiled warmly. “How was your trip so far?”

                “We went skinny dipping, met an heiress who fixed the van, almost got lost in the woods in the rain, danced in a crumbling mansion with a falling ceiling. It was fucking awesome.” Donghyuck grinned.

                “Damn, that sounds like fun!” Jaehyun laughed. “I wish I had the time to do stuff like that.”

                “You never went on a road trip before?” Jeno asked, stirring his drink.

                “I’m planning to. I actually got the idea from Mark when he told me about it.” Jaehyun pointed at Mark. “It’s an awesome thing to do with your friends.”

                “Yeah it’s been a wild ride. Literally.” Mark smiled. “We did the craziest things. You wouldn’t believe it if we told you.”

                “Try me,” Jaehyun wriggled his eyebrows playfully. “There isn’t a thing in this world that is illegal and NCT U doesn’t have. What is it? Weed? Alcohol?”

                “I’m not telling you,” Donghyuck stuck his tongue out. “You’re just going to tell mum.”

                “I swear I won’t say anything. Brother’s secret.” Jaehyun pressed a finger to his lips. “Why? Have you…” he looked at Donghyuck teasingly and Donghyuck blushed bright red, slapping his elder brother.

                “No!! Don’t be ridiculous!”

                “Really? So you and Mark haven’t….”

                “Shut up. We’re not together.” Donghyuck snapped curtly.

                “You’re not?” Jaehyun looked at Mark in surprise. “Well, perhaps these things take time eh?”

                There’s an awkward silence in the booth as Donghyuck and Mark avoided eye contact. Luckily, Jaehyun the ever-chipper person did not notice it at all and resumed talking. “The concert starts tomorrow, but the festival has started today. We’ve got food stalls everywhere, souvenirs to sell, games to play, it’s going to be fun.”

                “Thank you so much for inviting us. Mark and I have waited a lifetime to see EXO in person!” Jeno squealed.

                “You guys are fans! Oh my god so am I!!” Jaehyun gave them a high five and Donghyuck groaned loudly.

                “Oh god not you too.”

                “Why? Am I too old to be a part of your hipster stuff?” Jaehyun elbowed his younger brother.

                “Yes, everything you touch you make it uncool.”

                “Hey, it’s not like I’m old and decrepit.” Jaehyun pouted. “There’s still college man! You know, they say that you really learn how to be an adult in college. Though in my opinion, you never really learn anything except how to write 14 pages in one night.”

                “Is college life really stressful?” Renjun asked.

                “That depends. It’s not all that different from high school, but you’re expected to pick up the slack. No one is going to babysit you through everything.” Jaehyun explained. “I’ve got someone coming here that you have got to meet. Just stay right here.”

                “Your brother is really cool.” Jeno said. “So how come you are not?”

                “Because I got the brains while he has the body.” Donghyuck smirked. “Yeah, I guess he’s alright though.”

                “You’re lucky. I grew up as an only child. I wish I had one.” Renjun pouted. “Oh, he’s coming back in.”

                “Guys, I want you to meet Kim Doyoung,” Jaehyun beamed, showing off his friend next to him. “He’s my boyfriend.”        

                Both Mark and Donghyuck spit out their drinks in each other’s faces like a broken fountain, causing soda to spray everywhere.

                “BOYFRIEND?!?!”

*******************

                “You didn’t need to shower spray everyone with coke.” Jeno rolled his eyes, handing Mark some more tissues in the men’s bathroom.

                “Excuse me but I have known my brother all this time and he did not say a word about a boyfriend.” Donghyuck snapped, wiping his neck with Renjun’s napkin. “I used to think he was straight.”

                “Whatever. Are you guys done?”

                “Just about.” Mark nodded. The boys exited the bathroom and headed back to the booth. Mark smiled at Doyoung and bowed his head apologetically. “We are so sorry about causing such a scene.”

                “It’s alright.” Doyoung smiled back politely. “I understand it must be a big shock.”

                “Bro, why didn’t you tell me?” Donghyuck asked Jaehyun.

                “I didn’t want to say anything until things became serious. It’s a big move introducing your boyfriend to your family.” Jaehyun held Doyoung’s hand tightly. Mark couldn’t help but notice the way Doyoung squeezed Jaehyun’s fingers back.

                “Well, I’m glad to have met you. I’m his brother, Donghyuck. This is Mark, Jeno and Renjun.”

                “It’s nice to meet you all.” Doyoung beamed this time, his eyes curving upwards in little crescents. He reminded Mark of a bunny, like a human reincarnation of the animal. “Are you guys excited for the festival?”

                “Mark and Jeno are huge fans of EXO.” Jaehyun said.

                “Then you guys are in for the best time of your life.” Doyoung laughed. “Come on, we’ll show you around the university.”

*******************

                Everybody has a particular image of college or university, depending on where you are from and how old you are. Mark had always imagined university to be a huge bustling place with students all over, professors roaming all about with books in their hands as they had to class. NCT U wasn’t that far off from his imagination, but it was festival season. Who gives a flying fuck about studying? Stalls selling food were all over the campus. Students laid out blankets on the lawn, lazily lying underneath the trees. There was a random guy dancing to Beyoncé in a Superman costume. There were a group of students kicking a ball, some playing chess on the steps of the main building, and professors smoking in one corner.

                “Wow.”

                “It’s big huh?” Doyoung laughed. “I felt that way too when I first came here.”

                “It’s pretty cool.” Mark looked around in awe. Somebody was rolling by on a skateboard. He gave Mark a nod as he proceeded to zip by on his skateboard.

                “That’s the gang from Sports Science. Over there underneath the trees are the Literature students. And our gang is here,” Jaehyun bought them over to a stall where you hit metal cans with a ball. “That’s Sicheng, Lucas, Kun and Jungwoo.”

                “Hello!” Sicheng grinned. “You must be Jaehyun’s friends!”

                “Yeah, this is my brother Donghyuck, my neighbour Mark and their friends Jeno and Renjun.”

                “Wanna play?” Lucas handed them a ball. “It’s easy. Try to hit the ball.”

                Jeno shrugged awkwardly as he took the ball. He hit one of the cans and everyone cheered for him.

                “This is fun!”

                “There’s more where that came from.” Doyoung smiled. “The festival is just beginning.”

*******************

                “I can’t feel my legs.” Donghyuck complained as they slumped on the couch in Jaehyun’s dorm. He gave up the living room for his four guests and laid out mattresses on the floor for them. They spent the whole afternoon playing games, eating junk food and they even had pizza together for dinner at The Chili Pond. The boys were so full they could hardly move.

                “That was the best pizza ever made.” Jeno smiled, licking his lips unconsciously. “If this is what university feels like then sign me up.”

                “You did.” Mark laughed, coming out with a toothbrush in his mouth. “Did you guys try the cotton candy we had?”

                “Not a fan of that stuff but the fried bananas were awesome!” Renjun said.

                “How about that giant corndog?” Donghyuck grinned. “That was the biggest thing I have ever put in my mouth.”

                “That’s what he said.” Donghyuck threw a pillow at Renjun and they all laughed loudly.

                “Come on guys, let’s not make too much noise.” Mark shook his head. “Tomorrow is the concert.”

                “Right, let’s get some sleep. We’ve got an exciting day tomorrow!” Jeno said. “EXO, EXO, E-X-O…”

                “Do that again and I’ll slap you in your sleep.” Renjun complained.

                “Okay guys good night!” Mark shut the lights off and laid down next to Renjun, his head plopping down on the pillow. His eyelids were heavy, and pretty soon he could hear Donghyuck’s soft snore. He was just about to fall asleep, when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

                “Hmmm?”

                “You’re awake?”

                “What is it Renjun?”

                “It’s just…” Renjun whispered. “I heard you and Jeno fighting the night before we left Scarwood.”

                “Oh.” Mark rubbed his arms self-consciously, remembering their heated argument in the bathroom.

                “Did you guys make up?”

                “Sort of. We just kind of…move on.”

                “Jeno really does care for you, you know.” Renjun said. “The first thing he told me when we decided to move to America was that he was going to miss you.”

                “Really?”

                Renjun nodded. “I know things haven’t been quite the same since we started dating, and I’m sorry about that. Sometimes I feel like…” he swallowed thickly. “Like maybe I’m ruining everything. Maybe I’m the one breaking your friendship.”

                “No no, don’t say that.” Mark hushed. “It’s not you, it’s me. Jeno was right, I have been selfish all this time, thinking he was all mine and everything would go according to how I want it. He’s so much happier with you. He really is.”

                Renjun and Mark shared a tender moment, smiling softly. “I can deal with you guys moving. I just need the time, that’s all. And you are a really good friend of mine. You have been the calm amongst the havoc on this trip. I can’t imagine the fuckery we would have ended up in if it wasn’t for you. I think we would be in jail by now.”

                “Jail is a tough word. Maybe prosecuted.” Renjun laughed softly. “Jeno is lucky to have a friend like you who is so loyal.”

                “He’s lucky to have a boyfriend who is so understanding.”

                “So he’s the lucky bastard isn’t he?” Renjun teased softly. “Don’t tell him I said that.”

                “It will be our secret.”

                “Deal.” Renjun and Mark did a pinkie swear to seal the deal. Renjun turned back to face Jeno, inching closer to his boyfriend. Mark eyed the couple and smiled. Jeno and Renjun are in love, and he was stupid to think he had any power in stopping that love, or that he should be doing it all.

                Mark looked up at the dark ceiling above him and closed his eyes. Jeno was right. It was time for him to grow up.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update comes a day earlier, but that's because I'm going on vacation for a few days so I wanted to update you guys before I leave XD. There are only 3 chapters left and the next one is the chapter you have all been waiting for, so please do stay tuned!! Leave kudos if you haven't and comments as well!!!
> 
> Thank you for your wonderful support and all the beautiful comments! It's your love that keeps this story alive! Thank you!


	16. Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the peak of the Midsummer Music Fest. Jeno releases his screams while Mark releases his feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the chapter we have all been waiting for XD

_Donghyuck’s Playlist for Better Tomorrow, the Days and not the Hong Kong Movie_

_Smile-Mikky Ekko_

_“You should try this.”_

_“If I did I would be disowned by my mother. Sorry Lucas.”_

_“Tough. I don’t have a mother to worry about stuff like that.”_

*******************

                No one woke up until at least 12 noon. In fact, the only reason they were awake at all was because of the Drama kids banging their drums and making a sound like a didgeridoo. It was Jaehyun who opened the door to tell them to shut the fuck up before he called the cops.

                “Am I in Australia?” Mark half-mumbled, woken up by the sounds.

                “No, but welcome to university life.” Jaehyun yawned. “Weird shit happens all the time. Don’t get me wrong though, not every university is like this. Maybe it’s just NCT U.”

                “My head hurts.” Donghyuck whined as he got up from the couch. “Do you have a painkiller?”

                “In the drawer next to you.” Jaehyun boiled some water to make a cup of coffee. “Did you all sleep well?”

                “I guess, though the arising could have been better.” Renjun mumbled sleepily.

                “Here, you’re lucky if you could get any sleep at all.” Jaehyun laughed. “If it’s not the assignments keeping you up, it’s your friends and their wild parties. Or worse, insomnia.”

                “Do you not sleep?” Mark asked.

                “I do, I try to keep it as regular as possible, but sometimes it’s just inevitable.” Jaehyun bought his coffee mug into his room, trying to get Doyoung to wake up. “You guys should go get ready, let’s get breakfast.”

                “You mean lunch. It’s 1.30 in the afternoon.” Jeno checked the clock.

                “What’s the meaning of breakfast?”

                “First meal of the day.”

                “Then we are going for breakfast.” Jaehyun grinned.

*******************

                “I need beer. I’m going to go get us some.” Kun got off their picnic mat that they laid in front of the concert venue. The concert wasn’t supposed to start until later that night, but as Jaehyun said, there was no harm in getting there early to just chill and enjoy.

                “Can I have one?”

                “What the fuck Hyuck, you’re underaged.” Jaehyun laughed. “You want me to tell mum?”

                “Fine, drink your nasty beer by yourself.” Donghyuck stuck his tongue out. “Get me a coke then.”

                “This is the life.” Lucas leaned back, lying down on the mat and feeling the warm sun on his face. “No reports, no deadlines.”

                “No nasty professor to tell you what to do.” Jungwoo nodded. A group of students passed by them, dressed with flower crowns on their heads and peace symbols tattooed on their arms. They smoked freely and drank beer from paper cups. An older man in a dress shirt shook his head at them.

                “You guys really do whatever you want.” Jeno said.

                “Yeah.” Doyoung sniggered. “It’s the benefit of being young you know? Adults think we’re stupid and reckless, so we get away with lots of stuff.”

                “Better enjoy most of this while we can,” Jungwoo said. “We may never go back to do this anymore.”

                “Why not?”

                “Because when you get older you may not have the time or stamina to do all this.”

                “Seems like getting older isn’t fun.” Mark said.

                “It’s not.” Lucas laughed. “It fucking sucks. I wish I could still go back to being 5 years old you know. Be with my mum and all.”

                “If you did you wouldn’t be able to enjoy all that you have now though.” Sicheng said. “No pizza nights, club nights, no freedom.”

                “I guess it all depends on perspective.” Doyoung shrugged, drinking from his cup. “It’s about feeling young, and not necessarily being young. It’s not like youth is something that disappears magically when you turn a certain age. Youth is always there, it’s just most of the time it’s covered by a fuck ton of adult shit you don’t recognize it anymore. Why do you think people still feel like kids again when they go to Disneyland? Youth is always in us. It just depends on us.”

                “Aren’t you guys going to college soon?” Lucas asked Mark, Jeno and Renjun.

                “We are.” Renjun nodded.

                “What’s it like to be a college student?” Jeno asked.

                “It seems a little scary.” Mark added.

                “It’s freaky when you first come in, like a major culture shock.” Jaehyun laughed. “But once you make friends and you know your way around, it gets exciting, and soon you start enjoying yourself. Kind of like your first day of high school.”

                “Don’t you guys ever feel sad that, like, maybe one day this will all be over? You’ll have to start working and then you won’t have the time to do all these crazy things like you did in college? Like reality is so much tougher and different from what you had in mind?”

                The older boys looked at each other for a bit. Lucas bit his lip and nodded. “We do, yeah.”

                “Wait, so you guys get scared of growing up too?”

                “Of course. Frankly I’m shaking at the thought of entering the workforce. Like, 9 to 5 with all the bills you need to pay? Climbing the corporate ladder and wearing those penguin suits? Nah man,” Sicheng laughed. “That ain’t the life for me.”

                “You see,” Doyoung continued. “Everyone feels like that at some point of their life. The elementary kids freak out about going to high school. High schoolers freak out about going to college or university. Then we freak out about going into working life. Then they freak about getting married, losing their virginity, buying a house, turning 40, 50, 60 or what not. I don’t know who made this up but we have essentially turned society into a checkpoint game, where you can only be considered a ‘adult’ if you have passed certain things by a certain age.”

                “You know what makes all this easier?” Jaehyun said. “Friends and family. Good friends and good company, support from family, makes all this transitioning easier. Think about your first day in high school, didn’t that terrify you until you made friends?”

                “Yeah, but I had Jeno with me on the first day. This time,” Mark swallowed thickly. “This time he’s moving away.”

                “Don’t be afraid of trying even if you have to shake off the safety net.” Jungwoo advised him. “Sometimes you learn more about yourself that way.”

                “I got the beer!” Kun returned with three bottles of beer and two bottles of coke. “So, what did I miss?”

                “We were discussing the insecurities and fears the millennial generation faces as they grow up and realize that society is fucked up.” Sicheng said and everyone roared in laughter.

                “Ah, so nothing much then.”

*******************

                “So, have you decided which college or university you want to go to?” Jaehyun asked as he squirted some ketchup onto a hot dog.

                “The offers haven’t come in yet, so I haven’t decided.” Mark said, helping himself to some relish for his hot dog and another two more on the tray next to his. Mark volunteered to help get hot dogs for everyone else and Jaehyun said that he would be ‘lost because the festival is like a effing maze’, so he tagged along as well.

                “NCT U is a good place.” Jaehyun smiled. “They have a great physics programme, and I’ve got lots of friends there too. If you come, we can hang out and even go back together on weekends.”

                “That sounds nice.” Mark smiled. The offer was tempting, since Jaehyun would be there to help take care of him and he would feel less lost in his own crowd, but it didn’t completely shake off the doubts he had in his mind.

                “What made you decide to take up physics?”

                “I have always wanted to become an author.” Mark smiled. “A science fiction author. I thought if I had a breadth of knowledge in science then I could write better stories.”

                “Is that what you scribble down in that notebook of yours?”

                “Yeah.” Mark stammered slightly. All throughout the trip, Mark kept a notebook of memories of notes he made along the trip. The things he saw, did and tasted. He didn’t think anyone noticed his habit. Except Jaehyun.

                “I bet you would make a great author.” Jaehyun helped put on some mustard for the last hot dog. “What about The APA? What did you apply to study there?”

                “Music.” Mark answered. “But I don’t think my parents would go for it.”

                “Did you talk to them about it?”

                “No?”

                “I didn’t know you wanted to be a musician.”

                “I don’t. At least, maybe not.” Mark scratched the back of his head. “I do love music, and I like writing lyrics, but I’m not sure if that’s what I want. I just applied for the heck of it.”

                “Sounds like you’re at the crossroads with this.”

                “I am.” Mark sighed. “I thought that if I went on this trip, it would solve my problems and helped me find the answer to this question. But it hasn’t.”

                “The answer isn’t on this trip, it’s in you.” Jaehyun pointed a finger at his chest. “You know the answer. Deep down, you always have. You’re just seeking validation to prove that you are right.”

                “Woah,” Mark almost doubled over. It was as if Jaehyun had poked a fork into his heart and cleared his brain. He was right.

                Funny how it takes a complete stranger (or a third party at least) to point out something you have been thinking about all this time.

                Jaehyun smiled at him and pulled his arm. “Come on, let’s go before the concert starts.”

*******************

                “Who are the opening performers?” Jeno asked Donghyuck as they stood up and leaned against the metal railing, waiting for the concert to begin. Renjun had glitter on his face and a fake web tattoo on his ankle that he got at one of the booths. They were playing some random music and Sicheng was holding hands with Kun, swaying like a drunk man on roller skates.

                “I don’t know. Some group by the name of The LA Strippers.”

                “Dear Lord I hope…”

                “Nah it can’t be.” Donghyuck scoffed. “Can it?”

                “Where’s Mark?”

                “He’s getting food with Jaehyun.”

                “I have a question.” Jeno asked. “Didn’t Mark have a crush on Jaehyun?”

                “Yeah.”

                “Does he still have one?”

                Donghyuck paused for a bit before looking down at the concert programme. “I don’t know.”

                “And you’re okay with that?”

                “I don’t own his heart, do I?” Donghyuck mumbled softly, but loud enough for Jeno to hear it. “I can’t stop him if he does. Maybe we’re just not meant to be.”

                The lights dimmed on stage and the concert soon began. The LA Strippers turned out to be a female indie duo, one holding the accordion and the other with a guitar. It was a strange combination and their music sounded like the lovechild of a “Weird” Al Yankovic and Lana Del Ray but it was almost hypnotic because the audience were dancing along to the music.

                Renjun tapped Jeno’s shoulders and they started clapping and dancing. Then, Lucas roped them in and they started dancing together. All that was left was Donghyuck leaning against the railing, watching the girl with blue hair play the accordion, and wonder what Mark and his _perfect_ brother were up to.

*******************

                “How long have you and Doyoung been dating?”

                “8 months.”

                “That long?” Mark raised his eyebrows in surprise as they walked back to the concert venue. They could hear someone singing “bada badibabu” and “twist me like a pretzel”. Obviously, it wasn’t the highlight so they took their time.

                “What about you and my brother?”

                “Us? Well…”

                “I mean, he really likes you,” Jaehyun said. “I know my brother.”

                “I know he does.”

                “You do?”

                “Yeah, but…you see…” Mark stuttered. He held his breath and swallowed again. “I had a crush on you.”

                If this was a movie, everything would be frozen in place as Mark and Jaehyun stared at each other deeply. Mark finally expressing himself after all those years, and Jaehyun realizing his neighbour’s hidden affection for him. Music would be playing in the background as Jaehyun prepares himself to break Mark’s heart.

                “Shit Mark.”

                “I know.” Mark nodded. “Kinda stupid isn’t it? And all this time you had a boyfriend.”

                “No Mark, it’s not stupid, it’s just…” Jaehyun bit his lower lip. “Man, I can’t believe I didn’t notice.”

                _Didn’t notice? How could that be? Donghyuck said I was so obvious and transparent? Is he that oblivious, like me?_

_Is this…is this what Donghyuck felt all this time?_

                “It’s okay though.” Mark said. “I know you and I will never be together, but I just…I needed to tell you how I felt after all this time.”

                “Mark I…”

                “Can you take the food back? I’m going to go somewhere else for a bit.”

                “Okay but where are you…Mark!”

                It’s too late, Mark went off in the opposite direction, and lost himself in the crowd.

*******************

                “Where is he?!” Donghyuck asked over the loud music blaring in his ear. The concert was hyped up and everyone was having fun, jumping and screaming. Jaehyun returned with the food but no Mark, saying he had gone to the bathroom. After 15 minutes, he still didn’t show up, and Donghyuck was understandably nervous.

                “Jae!! Where is he?!”

                “He went to the bathroom!”

                “For 15 minutes?! What is he doing? Making a cake?”

                “Hyuck,” Jaehyun sighed, beads of sweat decorating his forehead. “He confessed to me.”

                “He what?!?!?!”

                “He confessed to me.” Jaehyun said. “I’m sorry bro. I didn’t know.”

                Donghyuck wasn’t sure what to do. His heart broke at the thought of a nervous Mark, pouring and spilling his guts to his long-time crush, only to be rejected because the other was no longer available. Donghyuck was going to exit the crowd of pushy people to find Mark, when the said person reappeared behind him.

                “Mark! Where were you?!”

                “I took a walk to clear my head!”

                “Well you’re just in time! EXO is performing next and they are about to shoot the confetti cannon!” Donghyuck yelled loudly over the music. “The person with the least confetti in his hair has to pay for dinner!”

                “Hyuck wait!!” Mark grabbed his arm and pulled him close. He could hardly hear anything over the sounds of heavy rock and he was sweating so much his shirt was soaked. “I need to tell you something!”

                “What?” Donghyuck yelled back.

                “I told your brother I had a crush on him!”

                “I know! He told me!”

                “No wait!” he stopped Donghyuck from turning. “You don’t understand why I did it!”

                “Why?”

                “I had to let it out. All this time I felt something was stuck in me, like it was stopping me from moving on. Now that it’s out, I feel relieved. Like I’m not hiding anything more. I’m free, don’t you see? I’m free from the shackles of unrequited love.”

                “Good for you!”

                “I feel like I can do anything!” Mark smiled so widely, like he scored a million dollars. “I feel like I am free to climb mountains, scale walls…” he looked at Donghyuck and pulled him a little closer. “I’m free to love anybody I want now.”

                “Okay, but I don’t see what your…”

                That sentence never finished as Mark pulled Donghyuck in his arms and kissed him, something he should have done many, many, many months, maybe even years ago. Donghyuck’s eyes bugged out in shock and he opened his lips to gasp but Mark took this as an invite and pressed his lips against his even more, eyes shut and hands holding him tight. Their lips melted together, as if they were meant to be like this. As if fate had destined them to be together.

                Donghyuck’s eyes fluttered shut and he wrapped his arms around Mark’s neck, feeling his heart and Mark’s pound in unison. Sweat dripped off their bodies and he tasted saltiness on his tongue. Their ears burst with the sounds of the concert, and the blast of the confetti cannons dropping their coloured papers everywhere.

                It was a mess and complete chaos when they parted their lips for a breath of air. EXO started their performance and from the corner of Mark’s eye, he could see Jeno bouncing up and down like an Energizer bunny on steroids and screaming his head off while Renjun was trying to avoid his slaps. Confetti was falling everywhere and he could still taste Donghyuck’s coke on the tip of his tongue.

                That was not what mattered. Not the heat, not his favourite band on stage, not the screaming and not the dancing. It was the boy in his arms, this beautiful boy of smiles and happiness, who made him laugh through his toughest times, who was with him through all his mistakes and imperfections, who made him feel like the best and strongest man in the world. This boy who didn’t know how beautiful and perfect he was and spent all this time doubting himself. This boy was now his, and no one was going to stop him from loving him.

                Not even himself.

                “Kiss me again Hyuck.”

                You didn’t have to ask Donghyuck twice. They kissed under falling glitter, EXO screaming about Monsters and the heat of the summer night, it’s stars twinkling above as their arms were wrapped around each other tight while they smelled like hot dogs, second hand cigarette smoke with sweat stains under their arm pits.

                In other words, it was _fucking_ perfect.

 

 

                 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two more chapters guys TT Even I am sad to see this come to an end
> 
> And just in time because summer is ending anyways hehehe


	17. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home is forever where the heart is.

_Jeno’s Playlist for Road Trip Songs We Never Got a Chance to Listen To_

_Good Times-All Time Low_

_“Dude, this song is like…the anthem of this trip. Why didn’t you play it earlier?”_

_“Because you decided to do a medley of Taylor Swift instead.”_

_“No regrets though.”_

_“None at all.”_

*******************

                “Thanks for everything bro.” Donghyuck smiled, giving his brother a warm hug. “We had an amazing time.”

                “It was a pleasure having you guys with us.” Jaehyun beamed. “I’ll be back home this weekend, so you can tell mum to stop worrying about me.”

                “You know she never does.” Donghyuck grinned.

                “Call us when you guys arrive.” Doyoung said.

                “Thanks guys, Doyoung, Sicheng, Kun, Lucas and Jungwoo.” Mark shook hands with every one of them as he piled their luggage into the back of the van.

                “Better get going. You guys don’t want to miss prom.” Kun said, waving them goodbye.

                “Kun, how long until this web tattoo comes off? I think my mum is going to have a heart attack over this.” Renjun said, checking his foot.

                “A few more days. If you want to be careful, just wear long pants until it comes off.”

                “Alright guys, it’s time to hit the road!” Jeno started up the van. “Goodbye everyone!”

                “Bye!!!” The boys left NCT U campus, waving goodbye to Jaehyun and his friends. “Boy, that was fun!”

                “It was the perfect way to end our trip.” Jeno nodded. “I finally saw EXO live in person, and I think Xiumin smiled at me and I went to heaven.”

                “Your body slumped to the ground and hit a rock. You did not ascend to the higher levels.” Renjun rolled his eyes. “What about you two? Did you enjoy yourself?”

                “I’ll say we did.” Donghyuck smiled, his fingers carefully interlaced with Mark as he laid on his shoulder and snuggled comfortably against him in the backseat.

                “I wish this ride would never end somehow.” Mark said.

                “Same, I’m almost terrified to go back home.” Jeno shuddered.

                “Relax guys, we still have one more night before we do arrive home.” Renjun smiled. “Let’s just make the best of it.”

*******************

                “You know one thing I’m not going to miss on this trip?” Mark said, wiggling his toes as he looked up at the dark night sky above him, the stars shining in its sparkling brilliance. “Bugs that fly into the soup when we cook.”

                “Yeah. Or how about those lizards that watch you take a leak behind a tree?” Donghyuck shuddered. “I swear it almost felt like that slimy creature was trying to judge me for the size of my penis.”

                “I’m going to take a long, hard shower when we get home.” Renjun sniffed his own clothes. “I still smell like hot dogs from the festival.”

                “I can’t believe it’s over.” Jeno sighed. They pulled out their mattress from behind the van and planted it on the ground, watching the stars move above them as their camp fire burned a few feet away. Dinner was simple, just the leftover pasta and eggs as well as bread from the van. Donghyuck tried to make hot chocolate to celebrate their last night, but when he opened one he saw ants inside. He screamed bloody murder and threw all the packs away.

                “I’m going to miss you guys.” Donghyuck sniffed. “When we go back to school I’ll be with my friends and you guys will be with yours. We won’t talk that much anymore.”

                “Bullshit. There’s nothing stopping you from coming to our lunch table to join us.” Renjun said, holding Donghyuck’s hand.

                “But you guys are graduating.” Donghyuck pouted. “I’ll be a senior next year, and senior means more responsibilities, final year exams and colleges.”

                “It’s not that big of a deal.” Jeno said. “You’ll know what to do when you come up to our age.”

                “I wish we could all just be like this forever.” Mark sighed.

                “Can we do this again next year?” Donghyuck asked. “Can you two please come back from America to do this with us?”

                “Sure, or you guys could come over and we’ll do an American road trip!”

                “We could go somewhere else instead! How about backpacking through Europe?”

                “I need to save every dollar of my allowance but sure.” Mark laughed. “I’m down if you are!”

                “I really wish we didn’t have to grow up.” Renjun huffed.

                “I’m not sure if I’m ready either.” Mark nodded. “What if I make a mistake and it changes my whole life?”

                “Didn’t you hear what my brother and his friends said?” Donghyuck said. “Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. And come on, I think we made a bunch of them on this trip.”

                “Oh my god remember that crazy old man who threatened us for parking on his lawn?”

                “Which we went skinny dipping under!!!”

                “And the time we drank all those bottles of beer behind the alley?”

                “And vandalised a building!”

                “Jeno accidentally stole a packet of tissues from one of the gas stations we were at.”

                “Renjun stepped on something he thought was a snake and he screamed so loud, knocked into a bee hive and we ran away.”

                “And what about the palace?” Mark grinned.      

                “You are your stupid selfish ass had to run out under the rain and get us all wet!” Jeno reminded Mark of the trouble they went through because of him.

                “Okay okay,” Mark laughed. “I’m sorry I made you guys worry about me. I’m sorry if I have been an ass on this whole trip. I guess I’m not very good at this.”

                “I wouldn’t have it any other way though.” Donghyuck squeezed Mark’s hand.

                “I guess the sucky part of this is knowing we won’t ever have a chance like this again.” Mark squeezed Donghyuck’s hand back.

                “Maybe that’s why they tell us to treasure our youth. Because it really wouldn’t come again.” Jeno said.

                “I’m just glad everything worked out and we are not in jail.” Renjun cackled.

                “If we can handle this trip, we can handle anything.”

                And that, ladies and gentlemen, is probably the most perfect statement to round up the trip. If you can handle this trip, you can handle anything. Even life.

*******************

                “Dad!! Johnny!!”

                “My son!! My baby is home!” Taeyong was almost about to sprout tears from his eyes at the sight of his beloved son, but reeled back in disgust when a strong scent wafted up his nose. “Oh god!”

                “Why do you smell like hot dogs, lavender, beer and dog shit all rolled up in one?” Johnny pinched his nose.

                “Oh guys it’s a…never mind.” Mark laughed. “It’s a long story.”

                “We have all the time for long stories son.” Taeyong laughed, but he touched his son at arm’s length. “Go soak in a bath and scrub yourself thoroughly. Quick! I don’t think your father can hold his breath much longer!”

*******************

                “Is there anything else you would like for dinner?” Taeyong asked, scooping some more rice for his husband.

                “No dad, I’m fine.” Mark smiled, gobbling down his rice and meat. “Damn, I really missed your cooking.”

                “Donghyuck isn’t a good cook?” Johnny asked.

                “No, he’s great, but there’s only so much spaghetti and canned beans you can eat before you get sick of it.” Mark bent down to reach his backpack on the floor by his chair. “I took some pictures and made a scrapbook of our adventures.”

                “These are beautiful.” Taeyong took the book from Mark and flipped it open, pictures, polaroids and written notes were scribbled everywhere. “It looks like you had a lot of fun.”

                “You don’t know the half if it.” Mark had carefully excluded some pictures and notes from his stay at Yeri’s place (his parents DID NOT need to know about a topless girl and all the alcohol he consumed). “It was quite a ride. I went to the bathroom in front of a squirrel. Trust me, I don’t know who is more traumatised, the squirrel or me.”

                “Sounds like you have learnt a lot.” Johnny laughed, flipping through the pages. “What about the palace?”

                “It was a dump, but it was actually kind of pretty.” Mark pointed to one of the pictures Donghyuck had taken. “I mean, imagine the history those walls could tell. Sadly it’s going to be demolished.”

                “I hope you’re not too disappointed.”

                “I was at first,” Mark rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “But I got over it and started to see the place in a new light. I guess that’s just how life is. You don’t always get what you want, but if you can see the situation in a new light, everything becomes better.”

                “That’s my boy.” Taeyong smiled, kissing Mark’s temple. “I’m so proud of you. You have really grown up.”

                “About that,” Mark sighed. “I need to talk to you guys about something.”

                Then, Mark came clean. He confessed to his fears, his worries, and how he reacted to news of Jeno and Renjun moving. He told them he was scared and afraid of college, and that he still has not made up his mind what he wants to do in the future.

                “I know I’m supposed to be an adult,” Mark said. “But I don’t know how to be one, and I’m scared.”

                “Oh Mark,” Johnny took Mark’s hands in his and patted it lightly. “Why didn’t you tell us about it sooner?”

                “I didn’t know I was actually feeling this way until someone told me.” Mark answered. “And…I suppose I was worried it would make me sound cowardly. I didn’t want you guys to be worried about me.”

                “You’re only 18 years old,” Taeyong smiled. “No one is asking you to get married the next year and buy your own house.”

                “And to be fair here,” Johnny laughed. “It’s not like we know what we’re doing either.”

                “You don’t?” Mark raised his eyebrows in surprise. “But I thought you guys knew everything.”

                “Oh please, you think your dad knew what a horrible decision raising a snake and a pet mouse together in the same place was at the time?” Johnny dodged Taeyong’s slap as Mark laughed. “Trust me, we don’t know everything either. Your dad and I still make mistakes, almost every day of our lives.”

                “I didn’t know if I was ready to be a father either. Heck, I didn’t even know if I was ready to be a husband.” Taeyong said. “As far as I’m concerned, parenthood and marriage is still a little scary. You’re constantly worried if you’re going to mess up, what’s going to happen if you lose it all, but being a father meant having you, and being married means spending my life with my best friend. So what if I feel like a monkey on a trapeze? You two mean the world to me, and having you makes it all worth it.”

                “So…you guys don’t know how to be adults?”

                Johnny and Taeyong laughed at that. “Probably not,” Johnny shook his head and patted Mark’s hand. “I don’t think anybody knows.”

                “Then how did you get through it all this time?”

                “That’s a good question,” Johnny took Taeyong’s hand in his, the other still holding Mark’s as he smiled at his husband lovingly. “I think it’s just taking life one step at a time.”

                “The first step is always the hardest.” Taeyong said. “But once you take that step, you will find the courage to take another, and another and another until you start walking and eventually you even start running. Don’t worry, we’ll be there to take that step with you.”

                “You will?” Mark asked, smiling innocently. Taeyong had a small flashback to the time when 7-year-old Mark asked if his parents would take him to the zoo. It’s funny how some things never change.

                “Yes we will.” Taeyong stood up to hug his son. “You’re not alone. You never will be.”

                Johnny stood up to wrap his long arms around his family. He kissed both Mark and Taeyong on the cheek as the family enjoyed each other’s comfort, wrapped in a warm burrito-style huddle. Mark felt like he was 7-years-old again, in the arms of his parents as they shield him from the dangers of the world. He felt safe, loved and protected.

                This wasn’t the kind of hug that made you wish you could never leave the nest. This was the kind of hug that gave you the confidence to _fly_.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe there is only one chapter left, suddenly I feel pressured >< I hope I can deliver to your expectations and write a fitting finale for this story!


	18. For Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A proper goodbye deserves fireworks, kisses and endless giggles from secrets only they know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it yall, it's finally here.

_Mark, Donghyuck, Renjun and Jeno’s Playlist for The Search for Everything_

_Castle on the Hill-Ed Sheeran_

_“We found the castle.”_

_“Yes we did.”_

_“We found out what alcohol tasted like.”_

_“Yep.”_

_“We found out how many times you can eat baked beans without throwing up.”_

_“Yes.”_

_“We found friends.”_

_“Of course.”_

_“We found love.”_

_“Thank God.”_

*******************

                The first day back to school (and his last forever, before graduation and prom) was really funny, for Mark at least. He and Jeno kept whispering in the hallways, judging their classmates like they were characters on some reality show they were watching. Renjun pulled his socks high up on his ankles to hide his tattoo, and when Mark saw Donghyuck sitting with his friends during lunch, he gave Donghyuck a smile, and Donghyuck instantly smiled back.

                It was the kind of smile that kept secrets, like they had an unspoken rule between them. Donghyuck’s friends begged him to tell them what it is, but in true Donghyuck fashion, he just told them to fuck off.

                They took graduation photos and signed each other’s yearbook. Mark swapped phone numbers with his classmates, most of which he knew he was never going to talk to again. _Funny. I used to count the days until I could get out of this place. Now that I am, I’m kind of wishing I had another day._

                “If Coach Shim catches you here,” Donghyuck said, shocking Mark out of his own skin and dropping the basketball he was holding. Mark had wandered over to the school gym, where he found a stray basketball and decided to dribble with it for a while. “He’s going to throw you out.”

                “Might as well.” Mark laughed. “I’m leaving anyways.”

                “Yeah but you really should leave.” Donghyuck grinned. “The prom committee is going to be here in a few hours.”

                “Oh,” Mark looked up, and saw a banner writing PROM 2017 and hanging rather precariously from the ceiling. “I see it now.”

                “Are you still not going?”

                “Yeah, because I didn’t have anyone to go with, but now,” Mark walked over to Donghyuck, a teasing smile cheekily appearing on his face. “You can be my date.”

                “Wow,” Donghyuck scoffed. “You just assume I’m going to be your date? What do you think I am, a dog that you can pack in a bag and just bring with you? I have standards you know.”

                “What do you want me to do?”

                “Ask me to go with you. Properly.” He grinned.

                “Fine,” Mark rolled his eyes but he laughed and got down on one knee in front of him. “Hyuck,” he looked up at Donghyuck, who was smiling widely at him and his cheeks were flushed pink. “Will you go to prom with me?”

                “Well,” Donghyuck mused. “There are no flowers, no chocolates, no banners, no marching band. This definitely isn’t the promposal I had in mind.”

                “Are you coming or not?”

                “Of course I am.” Donghyuck laughed, throwing himself into Mark’s arms and kissing him. “I was just teasing you.”

                “You got me worried there.” Mark chuckled. “I almost died thinking you would say no.”

                “Hey, I waited a lifetime for you to ask me to the prom. I have to be drunk and out of my fucking mind to say no.”

                Mark dipped his head to kiss Donghyuck a little more. They smiled into their kisses as they held each other close, arms wrapped tightly around each other as the kiss grew hotter, stronger and fiercer.

                _PHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!_

                “WHAT ARE YOU KIDS DOING HERE?!?!?!?”

                “It’s Coach Shim RUN!!!” Mark pulled Donghyuck with him, fingers interlaced as they ran away from the angry coach, who was singing her fists in the air as she yelled and ran after them. They ran as fast as they could, laughing so loudly it filled the empty hallways with nothing but the sweet sound of youth and mischief.

*******************

                They always said prom is the biggest night of any teenager’s life. They hype it up to make it sound like a life changing event where you magically transition into somebody else the night before, and missing it would mean missing out on your teenage years.

                It’s safe to say Mark, Jeno, Renjun and Donghyuck had some kind of expectation, so you can imagine the disappointment on their faces when they saw that prom was really just _prom_. There honestly isn’t a better word to describe it, but yeah it was just… _prom_.

                The food was okay, and so was the music selection. The theme was, of all things _Une Nuit a Paris_ , or A Night in Paris. There was a large Eiffel Tower made of popsicle sticks painted black, tacky French café decals on the walls, and everyone was encouraged to speak French, which would make their French teacher excited and repulsed at the same time if she knew the results of her hard work teaching the language.

                “Was it just me,” Jeno took out two bottles of beer from his jacket pocket after they escaped that noisy French village and onto the roof of the school gym. “Or was that really lame?”

                “It was lame,” Renjun sighed, grabbing a bottle and pulling out an opener. “Did you see that cheap costume the performers had on?”

                “They were trying to look like mimes.” Donghyuck laughed, taking out his bow tie and putting it in his pocket.

                “They would make a better impression of a white fish gasping for air on land.” Renjun grabbed his chest and pretended he was choking. “That sucked so bad.”

                “I think we’re just spoiled.” Mark grinned. “We did go to one of the best clubs before this. Of course everything else after that is going to pale in comparison.”

                “Nothing can top that,” Jeno laughed, handing Mark a bottle. “That was insane man.”

                “I prefer all those nights we spent dancing and singing to songs in the van.” Donghyuck laughed. “At least we got to pick the songs we like instead of The Chainsmokers all the time.”

                “I feel like this has set a bench mark for everything I do in the future.” Renjun grinned.

                “That’s what epic road trips are made of.” Mark said. “They are made of sweat, tears and a a gallon of sticky soda.”

                Everyone laughed their heads of as Jeno fist-bumped Mark and nearly knocked his cup over. “I mean it though,” he continued. “Sure there may be other road trips that could be even more epic, featuring a jackpot win in Vegas or a foursome with a Destiny’s Child copy band, but this will be the one we tell our grandchildren about. Because we lived through it.”

                “We won’t be doing this in the States I guess.”

                “Speaking of States,” Donghyuck leaned on Renjun’s folder and grabbed his arm. “I’m going to miss you so much. You are like, one of my soulmates now.”

                “I’m going to miss you too Hyuck.” Renjun smiled, giving Donghyuck a warm hug. “I’ll call and text you as often as I can.”

                “Hey Jeno,” Mark clinked his bottle with Jeno’s, and they both took a sip. “I’m going to miss you too.”

                “Me too,” Jeno smiled. There was a hint of sadness in his eyes, and Mark was quick to notice it. “We have been tied to the hip since we were toddlers. I can’t believe I’m moving away so quickly.”

                “Are you ready for it?”

                “I think so,” Jeno sighed. “I have Renjun, and I got your list of useful English phrases. Besides, it’s not like I’m completely useless in the language. I’ll be fine.”

                “You know, you have got more balls than any one of us.” Mark laughed. “Only you can do what you chose to do. I respect that.”

                “Thanks man.” Jeno clinked his bottle, but paused before he could drink. He put the bottle down and pulled Mark into a hug. His best friend. His brother. His companion through everything. The one he argued with the most and made up 10 seconds later.

                Jeno didn’t realize he was crying until he let go.

                “Are you okay?” Mark asked, sniffing and blinking profusely to stop his own tears from falling.

                “I’ll be okay.” Jeno sniffed, rubbing his eyes. “I’ll go get some tissues with Renjun.”

                Mark watched Jeno take Renjun’s hand as they climbed back down the stairs towards the party. He felt a warm hand touch his cheek and a pair of warm lips on it.

                “Are you okay?” Donghyuck asked.

                “I’m fine.” Mark sniffed, breaking out into a fit of giggles because he was somewhat embarrassed to be caught like this. “Renjun is the one who is going to suffer with Jeno on his back.”

                “Says the one who is trying to pretend he’s not crying.” Donghyuck sighed. “He’ll be back for summer. We’ll see each other again soon.”

                “I know.”

                “Oh look!” Donghyuck pointed to the field below him. “Fireworks! There’s going to be fireworks later!”

                “That’s great!”

                “Thank you for taking me with you.” Donghyuck said. “At least we had a good time, even if it wasn’t at prom itself.”

                Mark laughed at that. “Thank you for agreeing to come with me.”

                “This may be my first and last prom.”

                “It shouldn’t be. You still have next year.”

                “Yeah but who’s going to go with me? You may not be here.”

                “Tell you what,” Mark pulled Donghyuck in his arms. “Let’s make a date for your prom next year. Right now.”

                “Are you serious?” Donghyuck laughed. “You will be my date next year?”

                “Yeah, why not?”

                “What if you get busy with college life or something?”

                “I made a promise to you, and I’m going to keep it.”

                “What if you end up dating someone else?” Donghyuck leaned in closer and smiled cheekily.

                Mark tipped his head at that. “Well, then that person needs to understand a promise is a promise.”

                “What if they don’t?”

                “Then they can fuck off.”

                Donghyuck tucked his head under Mark’s chin. They could still hear the sound of the party downstairs.

                “Mark,” Donghyuck asked. “Do you think, we could be together?”

                Mark sighed softly, thinking over Donghyuck’s query. “Of course.”

                “I mean forever.”

                “Oh. Well, hopefully. Maybe.”

                “Why not?”

                “I don’t want to make promises like that,” Mark explained. “We’re still young and…and you don’t deserve the word of a man who cannot keep his.”

                Donghyuck looked at Mark, and deep down he knew he was right. They were too young indeed. Mark sensed Donghyuck’s hesitation and kissed him gently.

                “I can’t promise you forever,” he said “But I can promise that you will always be my best friend, my soul mate, and if you want this as much as I do, then I will fight for it. Every single day, even if it’s years, decades or even longer.”

                It’s foolish to think young love would last forever, but it’s even more foolish to think that young love doesn’t _count_ , just because they are young. Donghyuck knows they have a future ahead of us that is full of twists and turns. He knows whatever that lies ahead of them is unpredictable, but he doesn’t doubt Mark. He doesn’t doubt that Mark will always be there for him, and that he does love him. He loves him now, in this very moment, standing on the roof with bottles of beer and a noisy party downstairs.

                Maybe now is just as powerful as forever. Maybe _now_ , is really all that matters.

                “I want this.” Donghyuck said, looking deep into Mark’s eyes. He saw the answer in them and he smiled to no end.

                “You got it.” They shared a heated kiss as the fireworks went off, illuminating the sky with bright colours and sparkling embers of flame. Mark pulled apart gently and saw the lights in the sky, painting the dark sky in colours aglow. The students had exited the hall and were now watching the fireworks. Jeno and Renjun came back just in time to witness the show.

                “What did we miss?”

                “Nothing.” Mark pulled Jeno to his side and the four of them watched the fireworks, arms around each other. “You are just in time.”

                The fireworks blazed on while the music from the party continued downstairs. It was Young by the very band Donghyuck hated: The Chainsmokers. Mark gave Donghyuck a sly look and the younger boy just shrugged.

                “Okay fine,” he said. “So this may be the only song I don’t hate with passion.”

                “It’s hard when you’re young.” Renjun sang, tightening his arms around Jeno.

                “Yeah,” Mark sighed, but he smiled this time. “But it’s also the best.”

*******************

                I could go on with this story, but it really doesn’t matter anymore. I can’t tell you which university or college Mark decided to go to (let’s just say he was really keen on NCT U, that is). I can’t tell you what happened to Donghyuck and Mark’s relationship after prom and on the day he left for college, and I certainly can’t tell you if Mark ever felt like he was ‘ready to grow up’.

                Why? Because that deserves a whole new story of its own.

                My tale here is to take you through a road trip in search of everything. Did they find it? Who knows, especially if you didn’t know what you were looking for. I suppose that’s the fun part of discovering, and ultimately, living.

                I don’t know why people blame me for stuff that happened in their lives. If it’s good, they thank me. If it sucks, they start yelling at me. What am I supposed to do? I can’t please everyone. My job is to make the best out of everything, even if you must go through a few rough patches. Humans think I decide everything that happens in their lives. That’s only half true. I make my decisions based on what they do. So in short, no one else holds the key to their lives other than themselves. I think Mark knew that, because he gave me a smile and a little salute on the day he left for college.

                Oh? Who am I, you ask?

                My name is Fate, and this story of Mark, Donghyuck, Jeno and Renjun on The Search for Everything is over.

                For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot tell you guys enough what a roller coaster this has been, and what an emotional and meaningful journey it has been to share this story with you. One of my biggest fears was that no one would read this because it was really different from other fanfics and probably the description sounded like the plot of John Green's lamest novel.
> 
> But then you all poured in with comments and messages and that inspired me and helped to push this story to become what it is today. Thank you for taking the time to read a mess of words that have been in my head for months. Thank you for the kudos, the comments, the messages and the love.
> 
> Yall are the best, seriously. If you like this kind of stuff please let me know. Perhaps I may do more (if school let's up and stops being a bitch) but we'll see hahahahahaha!!
> 
> Thank you all so much!!! Just...thank you.
> 
> P.S I also hope this ending does this story justice TT It's always harder to end than it is to begin


	19. The Silent Killer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this isn't a sequel or even part of this story, but it relates. Trust me, it does.

I know this isn’t about NCT or EXO or whatever group I normally talk about, but I needed to write this. I don’t even know if people will read this but if you are, here it goes.

I am devastated. I am absolutely broken by the news of Jonghyun’s passing. I know some of you are not SHINee fans or may not even be familiar with them but I wager this isn’t the first time you heard of this name. I just wanted to let you guys know how I felt (bear with me a bit).

I have never had mental illness, but one of my best guy friends in the whole wide world came out to me that he had anxiety. Then, one of my childhood friends who is practically a sister to me admitted to having depression and underwent therapy and medication for years. Although I will probably never know what it’s like to have a mental illness, I have seen lives been taken away, particularly people that I love and care most about, by mental illness.

One of the challenges of writing The Search for Everything was finding a way to talk about mental illness, but how does someone who never had one write about it? So I did it in the best way I could, and when Chester Bennington died, as a huge Linkin Park fan I mourned for him, and wrote about him in Yeri in his honour (or at least attempted to).

But this? Jonghyun, SHINee’s main vocalist, LGBT advocate, mental illness advocate, sunshine of a human being, fantastic producer and one of the legends of Kpop? Jonghyun was an inspiration. His music, like probably all kpop music, saved lives and healed wounds. He gave so many Shawols a reason to smile (including me), and probably is the reason many get up in the morning. That kind of power is strong and humbling. He saved so many, but he lost his own war. This hits closer to home than you can imagine.

I can go on and on about how fantastic he is but that really isn’t the point that needs to be made. Suddenly that chapter with Yeri and her dark thoughts are more relevant than ever. I ask all of fellow readers: we are all humans first, and specifically, kpop fans. Please, I ask us all to come together and show love and support for our fellow Kpop family who are hurting and battling their inner demons. Do not belittle or ignore them, instead give them strength, love and support. Educate yourself on mental illness and realize that there are bigger things at stake. Be careful about your actions and love the people around you, because you never know what they may be going through. You never know if your last moment with them truly is your last.

Lastly, to all my readers who are hurting, if you haven’t already please, please seek help. Please find someone you trust to help you, it’s not a sign of weakness, but a sign of bravery, a sign of courage and determination to live. Your thoughts are always welcomed, and you are never alone.

RIP Kim Jonghyun. You did well. You did so fucking well.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this story and plot for months now, and have finally found the time to actually put it in words. Please do let me know how you feel about it! I'm dying to know if you guys like this kind of stuff!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Who Wants to be Donghyuck's Prom Date](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15851646) by [sweetkpopfan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetkpopfan/pseuds/sweetkpopfan)




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